But shit had gone south. And the idea of cozying up with Adam made me feel pretty f**king guilty in light of the fact my sister was being held captive and drained of her blood. Not exactly the kind of concerns that fostered romance, you know?
All that should have been enough to keep me from entertaining the thought of opening that door and throwing myself at the mancy. But there was another thing— a secret— that put a nail in the coffin of any potential.
Back in New York, I’d run into an old flame, a vampire and former assassin named Slade Corbin. At first I’d kept him at arm’s length, but with Adam away at the fae court and some major emotional turmoil going on, I’d turned to Slade as both a distraction and a tool of self-sabotage. No one knew of the one-night indiscretion. Not even Giguhl. But the incident proved to me that I couldn’t be trusted not to hurt Adam.
I performed three resolute taps on the sink with my toothbrush. The sounds echoed behind me. I looked up and realized someone was knocking on the door.
“What?” I barked.
“Who’re you talking to?”
I went still. Obviously, he’d heard me, but had he understood what I’d said? “No one.”
“That’s funny,” he said. “I could have sworn you just told someone not to have sex with me.”
My stomach dipped. I looked in the mirror again, hoping the correct response might suddenly appear on its surface. If I opened that door, he was going to force the issue. Maybe, I thought, if I just ignore him, he’ll give up and go away.
I shook my head. Who was I kidding?
When I opened the door, he blocked my exit with hands on either jamb. One eyebrow lifted in challenge.
“Did anyone ever tell you eavesdropping is rude?”
He ignored my offensive tactic. Moss green eyes pulled me in like a tractor beam. Or maybe he moved. I couldn’t tell, because I was too busy being relieved I’d already brushed my teeth. Then his sleepy scent hit me. Warm and spicy. Like whispered secrets between tangled sheets.
All conscious thought fled like a thief in the night. A shock of recognition as his lips brushed mine. Soft. Hesitant at first. When I didn’t fight it, he sank into the kiss. But his hands still gripped the doorframe, as if he didn’t trust himself to touch me fully. His chest teased my br**sts through the thin fabric of my cotton tank. His scent and his kisses lulled me into a trancelike state.
“Sabina,” he whispered against my lips. He pulled me in. The move made the amulets between my br**sts clink together.
Oh, shit! Some sister I was. “Slow down.” I placed a hand on the smooth skin of his chest. His heart thumped against my palm. “We can’t do this.”
He pulled back, his expression part frustration and part concern. “What’s wrong?” he whispered.
I couldn’t speak for a moment. The truth— the real reason I held him off— slammed through me like lightning. Because if I let you inside, you’ll see how truly broken I am and leave.
When I didn’t answer Adam right away, his face went all pinched. “Just answer one question for me.”
I licked the taste of him off my lips and tried to focus on keeping the panic off my face. Inside, though, my gut felt like it was taking a ride on a tilt-a-whirl. “Shoot.”
He paused, letting the tension mount. His solemn gaze met mine. “How long are you going to make me wait?”
I considered making a joke. Blowing the whole thing off like nothing had happened. But I cared about Adam too much to dismiss his genuine interest with careless sarcasm. “I don’t know.”
He stared at me for a few moments. Behind his eyes I could see the wheels turning. Weighing the options and eventualities. Finally, he breathed out through his nose, like expelling bad energy. “Well, I guess that’s better than ‘never.’ ”
He could have interrogated me. Forced the issue. The fact he didn’t made me feel even more guilty. “I’m sorry. I just— I need time.” To figure out how to be with you without destroying us both.
He ran a finger down my cheek. “Time is a precious commodity right now, Red. Wait too long and it might be too late.”
I swallowed hard. Went still as my stomach clenched with dread. Hadn’t Maisie said almost those exact same words to me in New York when she’d encouraged me to admit my feelings to Adam? “I know.”
He leaned forward and placed another soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, he held my gaze. “Soon, Sabina.”
This time his words weren’t so much a threat as a promise. Of what I wasn’t sure. I had a hunch he meant he’d grow tired of waiting and give up, but he could have just as easily meant soon he’d be making his big move. Either way, the message came through loud and clear. He knew I was purposefully keeping him at arm’s length. He probably even thought he knew why.
But instead of coming clean, I merely inclined my head to acknowledge I’d heard him. That seemed to be enough for him, because he turned away without another word. As the door closed behind him with a click, I sagged against the doorjamb for a moment. Then I straightened myself up and went back into the bathroom for a cold shower.
* * *
Half an hour later, I emerged from my room ready to take on the evening. We only had about an hour of sunlight left, so going out now wouldn’t wreak too much havoc on my energy levels. Unlike full-blooded vamps, I could go into the sun without dying. But it seriously taxed my system, so I tried to limit my exposure.
In the kitchen, Giguhl sat at a Formica dinette with a mug of coffee and a plate of pastries in the center. He looked up from the New Orleans Dispatch when I entered. Over a mouthful of fried dough and powdered sugar he said, “Brooks brought us beignets!”
I blinked. At first I hadn’t noticed the fae. He leaned against the sink, chatting up Adam. “Hey, Brooks,” I said. “Thanks.”
He saluted me with his pink mug, which read, Put on your big-girl panties and deal with it.
“Morning, cher. You sleep well?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I said, keeping my tone breezy as I went to the coffee pot.
“Adam was just telling me he didn’t sleep well at all, poor lamb.”
I shot a pointed look at the demon. Giguhl raised a scraggly black brow. “I wonder why?” He turned a page and took his time readjusting the paper before continuing in a singsong voice. “Could it be because someone played musical beds in the middle of the night?”
I glared at the demon. “He moved beds because you snore louder than a congested wildebeest.”