I thought about this for a moment, trying to sort through the static in my brain. “Let me see if I have everything then.” I ticked items off on my fingers. “I have a twin sister who’s been raised as a mage. My grandmother has been lying to me my entire life. You are some super secret agent for the Hekate Council sent to find me and educate me about mages. Also, you just so happen to be looking for the same mages I’ve been ordered by Clovis to free. Does that about cover it?”
His lips quirked. “Sounds about right.”
“Actually, it sounds like some screwed-up soap opera from hell, if you ask me.” Despite my earlier freak-out, I was finally starting to think clearly again. Sure, I had a lot to sort through. It’s not every day a girl finds out she has secret twin sister, or that the person she trusted most in the world betrayed her by keeping that sister a secret. But I was in control of the pain these revelations caused, channeling them into an emotion I was more comfortable with.
His lips twitched. “Good to see the sarcasm returning. Does this mean you aren’t going to beat me up any more?”
“Don’t count on it, mancy. I’m feeling a little unpredictable right now.”
His expression got serious again. “Sabina, I know this probably won’t mean much, but I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?”
“I know this has to be really hard for you.”
“Life is hard, Adam.”
“Stop it,” he said. “You have a right to be hurt by all this. Or at least angry.”
“Oh, I’m angry. I’m so angry I could self-combust.”
“Shit, you are going to hit me, aren’t you?”
“Don’t be stupid,” I said. “I’m going to get even.”
26
After apologizing to Briallen for my outburst, we left with a promise to visit again soon. She seemed disappointed we were leaving before she could tell the rest of her story. But I’d heard enough. Besides, I knew how it went: My mother died—end of story.
I didn’t need to hear how it happened or why. Maybe I should have mourned her loss, but how could I miss someone I never even knew? Especially when I was left to pay for her mistakes. I wondered if my sister had been punished for my father’s mistakes, too.
The walk back to the car was uneventful, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Okay, that’s not totally true. I was numb and tried to do as little thinking as possible. But those damned thoughts came anyway. By the time we drove away from the park, I knew it was time to come clean with Adam.
“Adam?” I watched the trees pass instead of looking at him.
“Yeah?”
“I need to tell you something.” I shifted to look at him. Quickly, before I could stop myself, I started talking. “I never defected from the Dominae. I’ve been playing Clovis this whole time in order to gather information.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand.
“It gets worse. My original mission was to assassinate Clovis, but the plan changed.” I paused, not wanting to admit to my treachery, to dig the hole deeper.
“Changed how?” He’d gone very still.
“The night of the vineyard attack, a small force of Dominae guards will ambush.”
As the seconds ticked by with no response from Adam, I held my breath. The car slowed and he finally pulled to a stop on the shoulder of the highway. He turned toward me, with his arm draped across the top of the steering wheel. “And?”
“And what?” I said, taken aback. “Aren’t you angry?”
Adam rubbed a hand down his face. “As far as I’m concerned, it changes nothing. My goal all along was to save the mages being held captive. This battle of wills between Clovis and the Dominae doesn’t affect my plans.”
“Weren’t you listening?” I said, not understanding his lack of concern. “They’re going to ambush the rescue operation. You won’t be walking out of there with your friends. In fact, you’ll be lucky if you walk out of it at all.”
“Let me ask you a question,” he said, his expression serious. “Why did you tell me all this?”
I tilted my head, trying to understand his angle behind the question. “I guess I just felt like I should warn you.”
“Is that all?”
I started to answer, but he held up a hand. “Because honestly? I think you told me because you’re trying to avoid talking about what just happened. I think everything you’ve learned tonight and over the past couple of weeks has proven the Dominae have done nothing but lie to you from the beginning. And you don’t want to face that. To accept that this means your loyalties need to shift.”
I crossed my arms and leaned back into the door. “So what? You want me to betray the only family I’ve ever known for Clovis? Give me a break.”
“Not for Clovis, Sabina. For yourself. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to face the fact the Dominae have never accepted you fully because of something your parents did? Don’t you owe it to yourself to explore this other half of yourself that you’ve denied? To learn about the other family who has sought you out? You have the power to do something good here. Help me save them.”
The muscles in my neck tightened involuntarily. Adam was another in a line of beings who saw me as a means to their own ends. When I’m merely mad, I yell. When I’m full-on angry, my voice turns to ice. So when I responded, icicles hung from my words. “I find it interesting that you tell me to do something for myself, but what you really mean is you want me to do something for you.”
He tipped his chin, acknowledging my verbal parry. “Touché. I do need your help. But that doesn’t undercut the principle. This is all going to end badly. Either way, mage-kind and vampire-kind are going to war in the not-so-distant future. You’re going to have to choose a side. Are you going to fight for the side that lied to you your whole life? Or are you going to give the Hekate Council, and your sister, a chance?”
“Wait a second.” I leaned forward, not believing my ears. “We were talking about the mission. Now you want me to choose sides in a war that hasn’t even started yet? And you ask me to trust a sister I’ve never met? That’s not fair, Adam.”
“Life isn’t fair, Sabina. The sooner you come to terms with the fact your grandmother betrayed you, the sooner we can figure out where to go from here.”
I dug my fingernails into the leather seat. “What do you mean ‘we’? You’re not the one who was betrayed.”