It was clear Eldritch wanted to argue, but a smart leader knew when he’d gotten his way and didn’t push for more out of ego. “Fine. I have a meeting with the chief for lunch.” He glanced at his watch and then at Gardner. “I trust that as we get closer to the Blue Moon, your team will continue to be available to back up their brothers in blue?”
“And sisters, yes,” Gardner snapped. “Agent Pruitt is out with your Arcane squad as we speak.”
He nodded and tossed a file folder on the desk. “That’s the initial incident report from the unis who responded to the call. They didn’t find much.”
“As long as they didn’t fuck with the scene so our team wiz can do a thorough forensics search.”
He ignored that. “Just be sure you get this Aphrodite case closed fast. We’ll need more manpower, not less, the closer we get to Halloween.” With that Eldritch hitched up his pants and walked out of the office without so much as a good-bye.
The three of us remaining sat there until we heard his steps start down the staircase. Since he was finally out of range, Gardner let out the frustrated sigh she’d been holding. “Asshole.”
I bit my lip. Not because I disagreed, but because agreeing too vehemently was also a mistake. The relationship between those two changed depending on who needed favors, so it was just as likely that tomorrow she’d be singing his praises if he came through on one she needed.
“All right, Prospero, are you ready for this one?”
I nodded. “SSDD.” Translation: Same shit different day.
“Mez!” she called. A muted response filtered through the gym, which I assumed meant he was on his way.
“You two go in first with the interview,” Gardner said. “Mez will handle forensics.”
“Great,” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Aphrodite considers herself somewhat of a sexual guru. I’ll probably spend most of the interview defending Morales’s and Mez’s honor.”
“Defend my honor from whom?” Mez said, sticking his head through the door.
Gardner quickly filled him in on the situation.
“Doesn’t sound so bad, if you ask me,” he said with a smirk.
“Whatever you do, act natural when you see her/m,” I said.
“Did you say ‘herm’?” Morales’s eyebrows shot up.
“It’s short for ‘her/him,’ ” I explained. “Aphrodite’s a sacred hermaphrodite.”
“Oh shit,” Mez said. “Why didn’t you say that to begin with? I’m totally in.”
“I thought the term hermaphrodite was politically incorrect?” Gardner said.
“Technically it’s only incorrect to use for Mundanes born with both male and female androgens,” Mez explained, his voice rising in excitement. “But sacred hermaphrodites are created by wizards using powerful alchemical magic that makes a person exactly half-male and half-female.”
I nodded. “They’re the ultimate symbol of unity between the male and female energies of the universe. So they’re basically revered among Adepts and rarely challenged once they reach high levels within covens.”
“So they’re both sexes?” Morales asked, slack-jawed. “At the same time?”
I shook my head. “Usually there’s one in the lead, but Aphrodite likes to keep people off guard by switching in the middle of conversations. The trick is to watch for clues. If the male half is in the lead, you address using male pronouns. If the female is in charge, you use female.”
“How will we know?” Mez asked.
“Aphrodite’s voice and posture change according to who’s in charge.”
Morales blew out a breath. “This case is gonna be a real kick in the balls, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “Pretty much. S/he’s about as cuddly as a black widow on a good day, which of course today is not seeing how the temple was violated and some asshole stole the Hierophant’s potions.”
“Oh yeah, and don’t forget we’re less than two weeks away from a monster Blue Moon,” Mez said helpfully. “So s/he’ll be feeling the effects of that shit.”
Morales rubbed his hands together. “I don’t know. Considering how dead it’s been around here lately, it kind of sounds like fun.”
“Remember those words later,” I said, “so you can regret them.”
On our way out to Morales’s car, he and I ran into the fifth member of the task force, Shadi Pruitt.
For the last week or so, she had been assigned to help the BPD’s Arcane unit do raids on corner boys to stem the flow of potions. With the moon’s unstable energy in play, the fewer people out there freaking on potions, the better.
Normally she moved like a petite bull looking for a china shop, but now she looked like she was pushing a freight train uphill. The circles under her eyes and pale cast to her normally dark complexion bore testament to the late nights she’d been serving to help out the patrol units.
“You look like someone beat you with a bag of dicks,” Morales called by way of greeting.
She flipped him the bird with her right hand. “Bite me, jackass.” Her words lacked any heat. “Where’s Mez?”
“Getting his kit ready,” Morales said. “He’s meeting us at a crime scene.”
“How’s it going out there?” I asked.
She sighed and pushed all her weight to her right hip. “Motherfuckers be trippin’ like usual.” She shrugged as if this was standard operating procedure, which, given we were working in a magical slum, it kind of was. “But it beats the hell out of patrol.”
We all nodded because it was true.
“What crime scene you headed to?” Shadi asked.
“Someone stole some sex potions from a sacred hermaphrodite,” Morales said.
If his announcement surprised her, she didn’t show it. “All right, I’m going to go check in with the boss lady and then head home for some shut-eye.” She yawned so big her jaw popped. “But I’ll see ya tonight.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of movement coming from Morales, but when I looked up at him he looked clueless. To Shadi, I said, “Actually, I’ve got AA tonight.” I didn’t mention that I had no intention of attending the weekly Arcane Anonymous meeting, just as I’d skipped the previous six.
Shadi’s face changed into an expression I couldn’t read. Almost a cross between confusion and guilt. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Cool.”