“Ditto.” With that, I walked away, careful to put a little English in my stride, and went to go deal with my disloyal little brother.
By the time we burst through the back door of the kitchen I was a volcano ready to blow. The drive home was painfully tense and quiet. Danny spent the entire ride trying to curl himself into the smallest space possible and kept his eyes focused on the stained floor mats. I tried to focus on not wrecking the car and resisting the urge to go take my anger out on Volos for accepting the invitation to speak.
The kitchen door slammed shut behind us. I threw my purse and keys on the table. “Sit.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded too quiet, too full of banked rage.
On some level, I knew I was overreacting. Teenagers lie. They get embarrassed by their parents. But for this to happen so soon after my fight with Pen was just too much. It felt like everyone I cared about was slipping away, and deep down I was painfully aware of my own responsibility for that. What was worse? Pen was right. None of theses issues would exist if not for my job.
Needing something to do to put some space between me and my unpredictable, singeing emotions, I went to the fridge. Naturally, I was all out of beer, so I settled for a wine cooler Baba had left there after the party. The cap hit the floor with a ping. Two seconds later, the sickly sweet flavor of fake strawberry and malt liquor hit the back of my throat. But it was cold and fizzy and scrubbed the taste of guilt from my tongue.
When I finished every drop, I pulled the bottle from my mouth with a loud exhalation. The sugary liquid sloshed in my stomach, making me instantly regret chugging it.
“Kate?” said Danny’s small voice.
I held up a finger. “I’ll do the talking. You say nothing unless specifically asked to provide a response.” I glanced out of the corner of my eye in time to see him nod. “First of all,” I continued in a conversational tone, “when did you invite John to speak?”
He kept his eyes downcast. “At your surprise party.”
“Have you two been in touch besides the night of the party?”
He nodded reluctantly. “But only to set up the time for him to come to the school.”
I let out a little sigh of relief. Some part of me had been imagining a conspiracy between those two behind my back. “Okay,” I said. “Now what about lying to Mr. Hart about how I couldn’t speak? I offered to do just that the night you told me you wanted to join.”
A teenager shrug.
“Were you embarrassed to have me speak in front of your friends?” My gut tightened at the thought. I kept forgetting that at some point I’d gone from being Danny’s hero to his humiliating mother figure.
He shook his head. “Figured you wouldn’t show,” he mumbled.
“What the hell does that mean? I wouldn’t flake on you, Danny.”
His head jerked up then. “Bullshit.” The word zinged round the room like a bullet.
I pointed to the curse jar. “Cough it up.”
He slammed out of his chair and threw a five in the jar. My eyes widened, but before I could say anything he took off.
“You act like you’re such a fucking selfless saint, but you’re never around anymore. You don’t care about me or DUDE. All you care about is looking good in front of your damned team and earning promotions. And the only reason you’re mad at John is because you’re jealous you’re a shitty wizard and he’s such a badass.”
If he’d punched me in the gut, I wouldn’t have been more in pain than I was from those hateful words. “First of all,” I started in a slow, calm tone totally at odds with the lava simmering in my gut, “I don’t act like I’m selfless. I act like a woman with lots of responsibilities. At sixteen, I can’t expect you to understand the concept of having to worry about anything more important than when the update to your favorite video game comes out. But I assure you, it’s no fucking picnic.”
“Jar,” he snapped.
“You had a credit left, so I took it.” I shook my head. “Now, as for me not being around, that’s only temporary. Once we get past the Blue Moon, things will even out.”
He snorted. “Until your next big case.”
I threw up my hands. “What do you want from me, Danny? I can’t tell the criminals to stop killing people because my little brother needs some quality time.”
His jaw set. “Jesus, sorry I’m such an asshole for wanting to see you.”
I sucked a cleansing breath into my nose, hoping it might dispel some of the bitterness in my throat. “You’re not an asshole.” Neither of us commented on the profanity. From the looks of things, we’d both be bankrupt before midnight if we kept paying the jar.
He crossed his arms and folded his lips into a frown. “It’s not just the late nights. You’ve always had a crazy schedule. It’s just that since you started the task force, when you’re here you’re not really here, you know?”
I frowned at him. “Have you been talking to Pen?”
He shook his head, looking confused. “No, why?”
“Never mind.” I waved a hand. “I’m sorry I’ve been bringing my stress home. I’ll try to do better.”
He nodded but didn’t look convinced I’d be successful. Since I doubted it as well, I moved on.
“Now, about the other thing.” I licked my lips to stall for time. This next conversation wasn’t going to be as easy. “It pisses me off that you believe the reason I have issues with Volos has anything to do with who’s better at magic. It has nothing to do with cooking and everything to do with morals.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Here we go again. You think you’re all high and mighty because you don’t cook. But you know what, Kate? If it weren’t for John’s use of magic, I’d be dead right now.”
There. Right there. A tectonic shift. A rift exposed in the bedrock of our relationship.
“That’s not fair, Danny.”
“I don’t give a shit,” he yelled, that man-child voice cracking. “You would have let me die to save your precious principles.”
My ribs got too tight to contain the hot, swelling, pulse of my shattered heart. How in the hell could this kid believe I’d just stand there and let him die? “I would never let anything happen to you.”
He sat up straighter, looked me in the eyes, and delivered the deathblow. “You let Bane hex me.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” My tone was so icy, even Danny shied away. “You wanted to hurt me? Congratulations. Mission accomplished.” I tried to breathe over the pressure in my chest, but each inhalation felt thin and cold. “But if you think I’m going to let that distract me from the fact you snuck behind my back and lied, you’re sorely mistaken.”