With a nod, I crossed my arms and slid down in my seat. Part of me was kicking myself for not using the opportunity to talk about my shit, but the rational part reminded that part that I couldn’t discuss a case in front of these people. And I simply wasn’t ready to talk about Danny’s sudden interest in magic because it brought up too much shit.
“Kate?” Rufus was saying.
I looked up. “Hmm?”
“Will you lead us in the pledge?”
Inside, my sense of irony laughed and laughed. On the outside, though, I rose and said the words I’d memorized and repeated more times than my own name in the last decade. “Magic is a tool. If I am unable to use it responsibly, I will not use magic at all. I am responsible for my own actions, and I pledge to act with compassion for myself and others, always.”
* * *
At the top of the steps leading up from the basement, Rufus stood by the door to say good-bye to everyone. When he saw me coming, he smiled, showing a full mouth of strong, white teeth. “What’s shaking, white girl?”
I smiled and went in for a hug. The familiar, pungent-sweet scent of Mary Jane clung to his clothes like cologne. Rufus might be a magic-recovery counselor who met with addicts in a Catholic church, but he worshipped at the altar of Mother Ganja. He’d overcome a pretty devastating addiction to performance-enhancing, dirty magic potions that ruined his career as a pro baller in the early ’90s. Now he worked at a gas station by day and led junkies toward salvation at night.
“Can’t complain,” I said. “How about you?”
“Oh, you know, SSDD.” Same shit, different day. He laughed. “So about this anniversary.”
I was shaking my head before he finished the last word. “Don’t start on me.”
“I know, it’s just—” He reached into his pocket. “Your success gives the newer ones hope.”
He nodded toward the new girl, who scurried out of the basement and sped by without looking up to see Ru’s wave.
“Think she’ll be back?” I asked, watching her retreat.
“We’ll see.” He shrugged. “Look, just think about it. If you don’t do something here, at least do something privately to mark the occasion. Rituals matter, Kate.”
I nodded because I didn’t want to lie to him. I’d think about it, all right. About how the anniversary brought up all sorts of complicated shit for me. Like guilt that I hadn’t visited my mother’s grave since her funeral. About how my little brother was poking his nose into magic because I’d been such a hard-ass about keeping him away from it. About how after ten years I should have been able to relax, but instead John Volos was sniffing around the edges of my life again.
“Hey,” Rufus said, “you okay?”
I smiled quickly. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“You ready to go grab that drink?” Pen asked, approaching us. “Great talk tonight, Ru.”
He smiled and gave her a hug. She’d been coming to group longer than I had. Her ten-year anniversary had been a couple of years earlier.
“You know,” I said, “I think I’m gonna pass tonight. I’ve got some work to do.” I still had some files to review for Shadi. “I’ll call you tomorrow, though, okay?”
Once we’d said our good-byes, I walked away feeling relieved. I felt guilty for not wanting to hang out with Pen, but part of that decision had been self-preservation. No way could I get through one beer with her without spilling my guts about the case, and I really needed not to be analyzed right then. I knew I was taking risks, but I also knew the possible benefits outweighed any of the risks. If I could make this case, I’d make the team and then Danny and I would be set. And if John Volos had to go down to make that happen, I’d do whatever it took.
Chapter Thirteen
When I pulled into work the next morning, I was determined to make it go smoother than the day before. Sure, Danny hadn’t spoken to me over breakfast, but the sun was shining, I found a new penny in the parking lot, and I’d brought coffee and a box of bagels for the team. No bad days begin with free money, good coffee, and warm carbs.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I found the team huddled around Gardner’s open office door. Male shouting came from inside the small room. Tension filled the air like smog.
“What’s up?” I whispered to the others. Shadi made a pained grimace and shook her head. Mez, whose dreads had turned an inexplicable blue overnight, looked disgusted by the outburst, and Morales leaned against the ring with a smirk that said he was enjoying the fireworks.
Captain Eldritch’s back was to the open door. The way his hands were flapping he was capable of taking flight any second. Standing across from him at her desk, Gardner looked cool and calm, like she was used to having police captains chew her ass out before breakfast.
Closer now, I could make out the captain’s words. “—explain to me why I got the mayor’s office breathing down my fucking neck?”
I slowly slid down into a seat. “I brought bagels,” I whispered.
The other three perked up and dug into the box like a bunch of hyenas. Shadi and Mez retreated to their listening posts to enjoy the refreshments while they watched the show. Morales stayed near me. “He stormed through about five minutes before you got here.”
I nodded and took a sip from my coffee, suddenly wishing it were bourbon instead.
“Can’t say that I do,” Gardner replied in a calm tone. “But I’m guessing you have an idea.”
“Seems a good friend of the mayor’s is being harassed by this task force.”
“Who?”
“John Volos.”
I cringed. Had Volos seen me the other day outside his building?
“Shit,” Morales said under his breath. “I thought we were more careful.”
I relaxed instantly. I’d forgotten that Gardner had him and Shadi tail Volos the day before.
Gardner shot a quick, hard glance in Morales’s direction. “Harassed?” she said. “I highly doubt that, Captain. My agents know better.”
“According to Mr. Volos, members of this task force followed him for four hours yesterday and then sat outside a fund-raiser at the mayor’s own campaign manager’s house last night.”
“Maybe you should remind the mayor that his biggest backer was and probably still is a major player in the Cauldron’s potion trade.”
“I’d be happy to if you can hand me one piece of evidence that backs up that accusation.”