It was as he hesitated a moment longer, seeking to arouse her to a fever pitch of wanting, that she was assailed by a lingering sense of vulnerability. She could feel the waiting heat of his manhood pressing close and all at once a vision of the future infiltrated her mind. For just an instant she saw herself as she had been that last morning in Mexico, hurt, angry and weak.
As if he could, read her mind, Judd was suddenly grating harsh words against her lips. “No,” he ordered fiercely. “No, don’t go cold on me now. It’s too late. You’ve already given yourself tonight!” Then he moved against her softness, filling her completely in a hard, incredibly exciting way that literally deprived her of breath.
By the time she regained the air in her lungs Honor was already caught up in the dizzying spiral of Judd’s passion. He reached down to hold her hips more firmly to him, forcing her into the thrilling pattern of the rhythm he was creating. Helplessly, heedlessly, she clung to him as if to a huge, soaring bird. There amid the dangerous peaks at the top of the world he was her only source of safety.
Relentlessly he carried them higher until at last Honor could go no further. She felt the sweeping tremors pour through her body and knew that Judd was as violently aware of her response as she herself was. She heard him say her name over and over again as she collapsed mindlessly in his arms and then he was following her over the edge and she held him tightly as he shuddered heavily and then lay still.
It was a long time before Honor emerged from the mists to become faintly aware of a gentle movement against the inside of her wrist. Opening her eyes she turned her head on the pillow and found Judd lying beside her, his fingers gliding back and forth across the scar that looked so much like a botched attempt at suicide. He stared at her as she regarded him from beneath half-closed lashes.
“Tell me about this,” he demanded softly.
She hesitated, aware of the drying perspiration on his sleek, lean body and of how uncompromisingly male he was in his nakedness. Hard and tough and aggressive. Not at all the sort of gentle, sensitive man she had once dreamed of falling in love with. What had she done? “Honor, tell me about the scar.”
She blinked. “That night in Hong Kong—the night I found out what Garrison and Prager were really up to— it happened then,” she said softly, the memory still unnerving her. “When I realized that Nick had seen me, I knew I had to run. I found a cab which took me to the hotel. I had it wait while I collected my passport and the tickets. I had all of the tickets, Leo’s and Nick’s as well as my own. I took them, hoping it would slow them down. Even with connections it takes a while to buy international air tickets. Luckily there was a flight out that night that I could get on. They had second-guessed me, I though. They arrived at the airport a few minutes behind; me. I just kept myself hidden in the crowd. There wasn’t much they could do. But Nick spotted me when I ran to catch my plane. I’d deliberately waited until the last second, so I could stay hidden as long as possible.”
“Keep going.”
Honor shook her head helplessly. “He swung his arm as I raced past him. I thought he was trying to grab me and I dodged. I didn’t realize until the last instant that he had a small knife in his hand. I guess he thought if he could stab me quickly he could just: pretend I’d fainted in his arms. But when I dodged aside, the knife tip caught on my bracelet. It was a chain-link thing and it snagged the blade for a few seconds. The bracelet came off and I kept going until I was safe behind the ‘passengers only’ sign. A few minutes later I was on the plane and they were helpless to stop me.”
She shuddered. “I only realized I was bleeding when I got on the plane.”
“I knew there had to be a good explanation.” He sighed and leaned back against the pillows.
“Did you?” she challenged huskily.
“You may be a romantic but you’re too gutsy to resort to something like a suicide attempt!” Judd closed his eyes, continuing to hold her wrist loosely in his palm. “Prager was sure there would be some mark on your wrist, so I guess he knew he’d cut you. The bastard. He and Garrison sure knew how to dovetail that little snippet of information into the total story they gave me.”
“Yes.” She lay watching him, wishing she had ESP. What in the world was he thinking?
“I shouldn’t have come in here tonight,” he said as if answering her silent question. He put his arm across his eyes. “I didn’t plan to, you know.”
Honor went very still. “Didn’t you?” She could hardly breathe.
He shook his head and lowered his arm to stare at her still, tense face. “No. It was the thought of the way you had run in here, locking the door on me. My own door! And I’d found you with that other man tonight after looking for you all day in Phoenix. Then there was that long, tiring flight. And a couple of brandies. What with one thing and another, I guess I lost control. But you don’t have to worry. It won’t happen again. This isn’t the way to go about putting things right and I know it.”
Honor swallowed. “What exactly do you want to put right, Judd?”
“Honor, you misunderstood everything that mornings we left Mexico. I know I didn’t come through as your ideal of a romantic hero. I realize you woke up with some rosy image of me that I promptly failed to live up to. I handled everything badly, but I could only think of one thing and that was to get the whole damn mess straightened out. I wasn’t thinking in terms of wine and roses and undying love. I just wanted to get you out of[_ ]Mexico and out of the mess in which you’d found yourself. I’m sorry, honey, but one night in bed with you wasn’t enough to answer all the questions that had been[ _]raised. Maybe I should have instantly believed your tale. Maybe one of your ‘friends’ would have believed it without question. But I’ve been living by myself for a long time. I’m not used to placing unquestioning trust in another human being. I had to find out for myself what was going on.”
“So I gathered,” she managed faintly. And he wasn’t accustomed to falling in love, either, she decided silently. He probably didn’t even have the vaguest idea of how to go about doing that. “What happens now, Judd?” she asked starkly.
“Now we start over. You belong to me, Honor. I realize I’m not what you’ve been looking for in a man. You’ve made it damn clear you think I’m a mercenary; bastard who knows nothing about the sensitive side of life. And you’re probably right. But I’m not going to let you walk out on me again. Do you understand?”