“Would you have listened?” Fletcher kept his green gaze steady on mine.
“I . . .”
I wanted to say, Of course I would have, but that was a lie. Because I’d spent the last two weeks pointedly, repeatedly not listening to Fletcher—and Cesar Vaughn had paid the price for it.
“No,” I admitted. “I wouldn’t have listened. I would have thought that you were being paranoid.”
“I was hoping that I was wrong . . .” Fletcher’s voice trailed off for a moment. “But I was going to talk to you tonight about everything. When you got home.”
So he’d been going to let me have one more night of my fantasy romance with Sebastian before he told me the truth. A small kindness and far more generous than I had been to him lately.
Fletcher kept staring at me, expecting me to say something.
“I understand.”
“I hope . . . I hope that you don’t blame me for this.” His voice cracked on the last few words, making my own guilt rise to the surface again.
I reached over and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Never.”
Even though I tried to make myself sound strong and confident, my voice still felt hollow and empty, just like my heart. But I didn’t blame Fletcher.
I blamed myself for everything—and I always would.
29
After Fletcher and I had said our piece to each other, I went into the kitchen and got the others.
Finn helped Fletcher to his feet, and then the two of them headed upstairs so Fletcher could take a shower and get cleaned up before crashing in one of Jo-Jo’s guest beds. I waited until I heard the water start running in one of the upstairs bathrooms, then settled myself in the chair that Fletcher had vacated.
“Think you have enough magic left to use on me?” I asked in a low voice.
Jo-Jo smiled. “Of course, darling. You know that you never have to ask me that. I’m always happy to take care of you.”
But I felt like I did have to ask, especially tonight, when all of this was my fault.
Jo-Jo sat back down in her own chair, raised her hand, and reached for her magic.
Pins and needles swept over my entire body, stabbing into my skin and then the muscles and blood vessels underneath, as Jo-Jo grabbed hold of all the oxygen in the air, circulated all those tiny molecules through my body, and used them to put everything back where it was supposed to be. I dug my fingers into the padded arms of the chair to hold myself as still as possible, although I couldn’t help but squirm in my seat every once in a while, like a kid trying to wiggle away to keep from having her dirty face wiped clean.
Finally, Jo-Jo released her hold on her magic. The milky-white glow vanished from her eyes, and she lowered her hand to her side. The last of the pinpricks disappeared. I let out a tired sigh. I hadn’t been shot, not like Fletcher had, but the long night had still worn me out. Jo-Jo patted my shoulder and moved around the salon, washing her hands again and straightening up.
I left her to her work and headed up the stairs to take a shower and get cleaned up. I was walking down the upstairs hallway toward one of the bathrooms when Finn stepped out of a guest bedroom and closed the door behind him.
“Fletcher asleep already?” I asked.
Finn nodded. I wasn’t surprised. Most folks slept for several hours straight after being healed by an Air elemental. That’s how long it took your mind to catch up with your body and realize that you were not, in fact, dying anymore. I’d probably do the exact same thing once I got settled for the night. The only thing that was keeping me from collapsing right now was the desire not to dirty up one of Jo-Jo’s guest beds with all the filth that covered me.
Finn leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest and putting one ankle on top of the other. “So,” he said, “when are you going after Sebastian? Not tonight, I hope.”
The idea had crossed my mind, and if I thought there was any chance that I could have killed him, I would have already been in Finn’s car and headed over to the mansion. But that would have been reckless and impatient. So I would let Sebastian savor his victory—for now.
I shook my head. “No. I’m exhausted. I’m in no shape to go after him tonight. Besides, I want to be careful and cautious about things this time, like I should have been all along.”
Finn nodded. “Good. But what do you think Sebastian will think when his men don’t come home tonight?”
I shrugged. “He’ll probably assume that you and Fletcher killed them, not that I’m still alive.”
“Either way, he’ll be waiting for someone to retaliate.”
“I know.”
Finn looked at me. “Just promise me one thing: that you and Dad will sit down and plan how to take him out, okay? Me too, if you like. Promise me that you won’t go after Sebastian by yourself.”
“Of course,” I said, lying through my teeth.
Finn had been targeted, and Fletcher had been beaten and shot, all because of me. I wasn’t risking them again, not even to help me get Sebastian. Besides, I was the one he’d made such a fool of, I was the one he’d played, I was the one who’d believed his sweet lies. I had to take care of that—of him—myself, or I’d never be as strong as I wanted to be. I’d never be what Fletcher intended me to be.
I’d never truly be the Spider.
Finn’s eyes narrowed in suspicion at my easy agreement, but I kept my face blank. Finally, he nodded, satisfied by my false promise.
“All right,” he said. “Since Dad’s asleep, I’m going to head back to my apartment. I need to do some serious damage control with Roslyn.”
“Tell her that Gin says hi,” I said, teasing him a little bit.
He winced. “If she’s even still there.”
I thought of the way Roslyn hadn’t batted an eye when I’d shown up covered in blood. Most folks would have freaked out but not her. She’d been completely, utterly cool. Still, I’d seen the sharp interest in her gaze as she’d wondered what Finn and I were really up to.
“She probably is. If nothing else, because she’s curious.”
He nodded, then flashed me a grin. “Even if she’s not, I can always call her and try to smooth things over. I got her to give me her number even before we left the party.”
I had to laugh at his utter confidence in his smarmy seduction skills. “Well, if anyone can make a woman forget all about a lot of blood and some big, fat, whopping lies, it’s Finnegan Lane, baby.”