Bria's eyes met mine. "Not too soft. You killed Salina in the end."
I let out a breath. "No, not too soft."
"What does Owen think about that?"
"Nothing good."
"I saw what happened, what you did for Eva. You killed Salina so she wouldn't have to, so Owen wouldn't have to. He'll come to see that in time." She echoed what Jo-Jo had said to me last night.
I shrugged. I wished I shared her confidence, but I didn't - I just didn't. I'd seen the way Owen had looked at me after I'd slit Salina's throat. How angry and hurt he'd been by my actions. I didn't know if he could recover from that. I didn't know if I could either.
"Bria!" Xavier called out, waving his hand at my sister through his open car window. "We have to go!"
Bria waved back, telling him that she'd be there in a minute. "Duty calls," she said, and got to her feet.
"I made quite the mess for you to clean up, didn't I? You'll be dealing with the aftermath of this for weeks."
She shrugged. "What are sisters for? Besides, you just helped me close two other homicides - Katarina and Antonio. Plus, the families of the men Salina married and murdered can finally get some closure, too. All in all, not a bad night's work for the Spider."
"You know, I think that's the first time you've ever said my assassin name in a happy tone," I said.
Bria looked at me, her face somber. "Do you remember what you said to me the night you saved Elliot Slater from beating me to death in my own house?"
"Something like there were worse things in the world than me."
She nodded. "I think we saw one of those things last night. There are worse things than assassins in the world, Gin. A hell of a lot worse things. Some of them are even disguised as love."
She leaned down and hugged me, then headed back over to her car, where Xavier was waiting. A minute later, they were gone, off to deal with the rest of the fallout.
The attempted massacre of Ashland's underworld leaders dominated the news for the next few days. Story after story filled the newspapers and airwaves about Salina Dubois and her twisted plan to get revenge for her father's murder.
When those stories became old news, the survivors told their harrowing tales for the local media, Jonah McAllister chief among them. Even though he'd been working with Salina, had helped her arrange her deadly dinner, he still painted himself as just another victim. The smarmy lawyer gave an interview to anyone who came calling until you couldn't turn on the TV or open the newspaper without seeing his smooth face. Smug bastard. He was worse than a cockroach, always finding a way to survive no matter whose boot heel he was being crushed under.
But slowly, life got back to normal - except for the fact that I didn't hear a word from Owen.
He didn't call or come by to see me, and I didn't try to contact him. I knew he needed some time, some space, and I was determined to give it to him, no matter how much I just wanted to hold him in my arms and pretend like the last few days had never happened. Like I'd never heard of Salina Dubois or discovered just how much she'd meant to my lover.
Eva called me every day, but she didn't have much to say either. She was trying to deal with Salina's death and her part in it just like I was.
Finally, a week after I killed Salina, Owen dropped by the Pork Pit. My lover stepped into the restaurant, making the bell over the front door chime. It was five minutes before closing time, and the restaurant was deserted except for me and Sophia. The dwarf jerked her thumb over her shoulder at him.
"Privacy," she rasped.
"Thanks, Sophia," I murmured. "I'll finish locking up. See you tomorrow."
The dwarf gave me a hopeful smile, then pushed through the double doors and went into the back of the restaurant.
Owen waited until she left before squaring his shoulders and walking over to the counter. "Hi."
"Hi, yourself."
I smiled at him, trying to tell him that I understood, trying to tell him that I wanted to move forward. But he didn't return my smile, and his eyes were dark and troubled in his rugged face. Not a trace remained of the giants' attacks on him or the injuries he'd gotten when Salina had used her magic to throw him against the Ice bar. No, Owen looked just fine on the outside. Inside, though, I knew it was a different story - for both of us.
"I'd like to talk, if that's okay with you," he said.
I nodded. I locked the door and turned the sign there over to Closed. We moved to a booth out of sight of the storefront windows. The honk and hum of the cars sounded on the street outside, but we sat in silence.
Finally, Owen drew in a breath. "I'm sorry about how I acted the other night. When you . . . killed Salina . . . it affected me more than I thought it would."
"I know, Owen. And I'm sorry about that. Sorrier than you will ever know."
I didn't apologize for killing her. I didn't say that it simply had to be done, that Salina wouldn't have ever stopped, that I'd probably saved Owen's life - all our lives - by cutting the water elemental's throat. He knew all that as well as I did. And if he didn't, well, then we had an even bigger problem than I'd imagined.
"One of the things that bothers me the most is that you had Finn pull a gun on me," Owen said, his violet eyes harsh and accusing. "You let him hold me at gunpoint while you killed Salina."
I wasn't surprised he was upset by that, by how I'd had Finn keep him out of the fight. Not only had I killed Salina, but I'd also taken away Owen's choice in how things would go down. I would have been just as angry if our positions had been reversed.
"And what would you have done if I hadn't? You would have tried to stop me, Owen. Hell, you told me to stop - more than once. I was trying to protect you, trying to keep you safe."
Trying to spare you from having to kill someone you once loved.
I didn't say the words, but they hung in the air between us, weighing everything down, weighing us down, with their many ugly implications.
Owen shook his head. "No, you just didn't trust me enough to do what needed to be done where Salina was concerned. You didn't trust me at all, Gin. Not with her. When we went to Blue Marsh, and you ran into Donovan again, I trusted you to make the right choice. I trusted in your love for me. I trusted you not to hurt me. I expected the same courtesies in return, but you didn't give them to me with Salina."
I didn't say anything at first. I couldn't, because his words were too true. I hadn't trusted him with Salina because I hadn't wanted to get my heart broken when he chose her over me. When you cared about someone, you gave them the power to hurt you, and I'd feared that Owen would throw away my concern just like Donovan had once done. Deep down, I knew it was irrational, that Owen was nothing like Donovan, but I'd still felt that paralyzing fear all the same.