“I’m a Champion, remember?” I snarled. “Nike’s Champion, the best of the best. That’s what you told Nickamedes once. Believe me when I tell you that you don’t want me to prove it to you.”
“You’re angry right now,” Linus said. “I understand that. I know how hard it is to lose the people you love to the Reapers.”
His gaze went to Logan, and the raw, naked hurt in Linus’s eyes cut through my fury, leaving nothing behind but a hollow, bitter ache in my heart.
“I understand that,” I replied, echoing his words. “And I’m so sorry about your wife and daughter. Sorrier than you will ever know. But you have a chance to help me save my grandma. Will you do that? Please? Or are you going to leave her to the Reapers?”
Linus stared at me, and I could see the struggle in his eyes. I knew he was weighing my grandma’s life against all of those he was responsible for, every single member of the Pantheon. And I knew what his decision would be, what it had to be. If our positions had been reversed, I probably would have done the exact same thing. I’d already lost so much to the Reapers—we all had—and I didn’t want to give them the candle either. I didn’t want to make Loki stronger. I didn’t want to potentially bring about the destruction of the Protectorate and the Pantheon.
But I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my grandma— I just couldn’t bear it.
“I’m sorry, Miss Frost,” Linus said. “But I cannot give the Reapers the candle under any circumstances.”
I gave him a stiff nod. “You don’t want to trade the candle for my grandma? That’s fine. I understand your reasoning. Really, I do. But don’t expect me to save you in return.”
I turned, pushed past my friends, and stormed out of the infirmary.
I didn’t get far. I’d just stepped back outside when Nyx and my friends caught up with me. Daphne, Carson, Oliver, Alexei, Logan.
Daphne was the quickest, and she darted forward and latched on to my arm, stopping me in my tracks with her Valkyrie strength. “Nike told you that you’re supposed to kill Loki? Why? Why didn’t you tell any of us about that?”
The others gathered around me, forming an unbreakable ring, and I found myself sighing.
“Because I didn’t want you to worry,” I said. “I figured I was worried enough for all of us.”
“How does she expect you to do that?” Oliver asked, his green eyes dark and serious.
I thought of the laurel bracelet hanging off my wrist. “I have no idea.”
I figured it wasn’t actually a lie, since I didn’t know how to use the bracelet to kill Loki, or if it could really even hurt him in the first place.
“Why didn’t you tell us, Gwen?” Carson asked again, peering at me through his black glasses. “Why didn’t you let us know what you were dealing with? We would have helped you through it. You should have known that.”
The hurt and sorrow in his eyes made the rest of my anger evaporate. “I do know that, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys before. With everything that’s been going on, there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up.” I winced even as I said the words. Because they were some of the same lame excuses that Grandma Frost, Metis, and Nickamedes had used to keep secrets from me, like my mom being Nike’s Champion, or my dad, Tyr Forseti, being a Reaper at one time. I never thought I would do the same thing to my friends, but I had
plenty of secrets of my own to hide from them.
Especially now.
Logan stepped forward and put his hand on my arm, just like Daphne had done, but I didn’t shake him off. I was suddenly too tired for that.
“I’m sorry about my dad,” Logan said, his blue eyes warm and sympathetic. “I couldn’t believe it when he said that he wasn’t going to trade the candle for your grandma. None of us could when he told us about it in the infirmary. We tried to get him to change his mind— we all did—but he wouldn’t.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
Logan sighed, looking as tired as I felt. “No, I’m not okay with it—not at all. But my dad’s right. Even if we handed the candle over to the Reapers, we don’t have any guarantee that they wouldn’t kill your grandma anyway. Or try to murder you too. Especially if they think you can somehow kill Loki.”
“Really?” I asked, my voice dipping to a low, dangerous level. “And what if it was your dad that the Reapers had kidnapped? Or your mom or your sister? What would you do then? Would you stand by and let the Reapers kill them when you knew that you could save them?”
Logan stared at me, a stricken look on his face. “I didn’t think so,” I said in a sad voice.
I knew it was wrong, taking my hurt, worry, and fear out on Logan and the rest of my friends, but I was just so angry. Not only at the Reapers, but at Linus Quinn and the stupid Protectorate too.
But most of all, I hated Nike for putting me in this situation to begin with. Not for the first time, I wondered why the goddess had chosen me to be her Champion, out of all the people in the world. Why me? I’d never asked for the responsibility, and I certainly didn’t want it. Not only that, but I wasn’t the smartest person around, or the best warrior, or even the bravest. But the goddess had picked me for some mysterious reason, and now I was stuck here, trapped in a tangled web of schemes, prophecies, and riddles that made no sense. Trying to figure out the best thing to do, and knowing I would lose something—or somebody—no matter what decision I made.
I let out a breath. “Look, I’m sorry for everything. I just . . . didn’t expect Linus to tell me that he wasn’t going to rescue my grandma. I know you’re all worried about me, but I’m going to go back to my room. I . . . need to be by myself for a little while, okay?”
I looked at my friends. Daphne with the pink sparks of magic still hissing out of her fingertips. Carson pushing his black glasses up his nose. Oliver with his arms crossed over his chest. Alexei looking as stoic as ever. And Logan, staring at me like I was some stranger he’d never seen before—one he didn’t want to know.
“Okay,” Daphne said. “But at least let us go with you back to your dorm.”
I nodded, too tired to argue with her. About this, at least.
My friends walked me back to Styx Hall in complete silence. We reached the steps that led up to the front door, then stood there, not sure what to do, not sure what to say to each other now that I’d had my complete and utter meltdown.