"Good riddance," Nickamedes muttered.
The librarian stood there, his features pinched with anger, before he glanced at me. "I have to go out and run some errands, Gwendolyn. I'll be back in time to close the library. Do me a favor and try not to destroy anything while I'm gone, please?"
He didn't even wait for me to answer before he went into the office complex, slamming the door so hard behind him that the glass shuddered. Nickamedes grabbed some books and other items off his desk, then headed out of his office and pushed through the door that led out to the front side of the library. That left me standing with Logan, and of course Alexei, who was hovering in the background as usual.
"What was all that about?" I asked Logan.
The Spartan sighed. "It's a long story. Come on. Let's get something to drink, and I'll tell you all about it."
Logan went over to Raven's coffee cart and bought us a couple of cold sodas, while I stayed in the stacks. The Spartan came back and handed me a ginger ale. He also passed one to Alexei. To my surprise, the other guy took the soda. Then again, it was Logan who had given it to him, not me, the evil, evil Reaper girl.
Logan looked at Alexei, who'd once again stayed quiet through all the conversations and confrontations. "Alexei, can you give us a little space, please?"
Alexei looked at me, then nodded. He moved about twenty feet away, drinking his soda and pretending to be interested in two swords that were housed in one of the artifact cases. Or maybe he really was into the swords. It was hard to tell with him.
Logan and I sat down on the floor in the same spot where I'd been before. We drank our sodas, Logan gulping his down, while I only sipped mine. I had even less appetite now than ever before. A minute later, the Spartan crumpled his empty can in his fist and put it down.
"I'm sorry about my dad," he finally said. "Like I've told you before, he and Nickamedes do not get along."
"Why not?"
Logan sighed. "Because of what happened to my mom and sister. My dad was off on Protectorate business, some special meeting he was called to at the last minute. Nickamedes blames him for not being home when the Reapers attacked. He thinks if my dad had been there, then my mom and my sister might still be alive." He drew in a breath. "And my dad blames me for not protecting them from the Reapers, for not standing and fighting with them. So when we're all together, my dad and Nickamedes argue about every little thing. I get called in to referee, and they eventually make me take sides and choose between them. Then, my dad tells me how disappointed he is in me, how I'm not living up to my full potential as a Spartan, and I end up getting pissed at him. Soon, we're all yelling at each other. Some happy family, huh?"
"I'm sorry," I said. "So sorry that you have to go through that with your dad and Nickamedes. They shouldn't put you in the middle like that. But surely, your dad must realize that you couldn't have done anything to save your mom and sister. That they sacrificed their lives to save yours. Besides, you were only five when it happened. There was nothing you could have done to stop the Reapers."
The images flashed through my mind. Logan's mom screaming at him to run while she and his older sister stepped up to fight the Reapers. Him hiding in a closet, clutching a small sword, as screams and shouts tore through the air. And finally, Logan standing over the bloody bodies of his mom and older sister, crying because he hadn't been able to protect them, because he hadn't been able to save them. And I felt all the Spartan's emotions from that terrible day-all his fear and anger and shame and hatred of himself.
The Spartan thought he'd been a coward because he'd hidden from the Reapers like his mom had told him to. It was a secret he'd kept to himself for years, one that he'd finally shown me a few weeks ago. Logan might not like it, but I knew his actions that day made him the person he was-that they'd driven him to be the best warrior at the academy.
Logan shook his head. "According to my dad, a real Spartan warrior would have stood his ground and fought that day-no matter if he knew that he was going to die."
For months, Logan had told me that I wouldn't like him if I knew the truth about who he really was, and his feelings about what had happened to his family were what had kept us apart. Of course, that wasn't true. I couldn't have been prouder of him-or loved him more. But suddenly, his fears made sense. Because all these years, his dad had made him feel like he should have died that day too, instead of being grateful that his son was still alive.
"I'm so sorry," I said again. "Your dad shouldn't have said that to you. He shouldn't have made you feel like that-ever. He should have been happy you survived."
Logan shrugged. We sat there in silence for a few minutes.
"What about Agrona?" I asked. "What's your stepmom like?"
He brightened a little. "That's something else that's complicated. She's actually really nice, and my dad obviously loves her. She's the only one who makes him seem close to human-or happy."
"But . . ."
"But Nickamedes has never liked her, and he won't tell me why," Logan said. "I think it has something to do with the fact that Agrona and my dad got married just a year after my mom and sister were murdered. I think Nickamedes feels it was too soon for my dad to have gotten over their deaths-or at least remarried."
"Well, you can't blame Nickamedes for feeling that way, can you?" I asked. "Your mom was his sister. He lost her too that day. And his niece."
"I know, and that's what makes it all so frustrating. Nobody's completely right, and nobody's completely wrong. Everybody has their own side, and none of us are on the same one. Sometimes I wish I had a different family," he muttered.
"Just be glad you have the family you do," I said. "That they're here with you and not gone."
Logan looked at me, and I knew he could see the pain in my face. I would have traded just about anything for one more day with my mom or the chance to spend time with my dad, Tyr. He'd died when I was two, so I didn't even remember him. Grandma Frost loved me, and I loved her, but that didn't keep me from missing my mom or wishing that I'd known my dad at least a little bit.
He let out a breath. "You're right, Gypsy girl. It's just-they make me crazy, you know? Especially my dad. He always thinks he's right about everything."
"I know, but that's what family is for, right? To make you crazy?"
Logan laughed, and some of the tension drained out of his body. He got to his feet, then held out his hands. I grabbed them, and he pulled me up.