I leaned over and lightly punched him in the shoulder. But we both laughed, and I felt just a smidge better.
"I'm sorry about your mom," Logan said in a quiet tone. "I know-I know what it's like to lose your family, to lose someone you care about so much."
The image of him as a boy standing over those two bloody bodies fil ed my mind, but I didn't say anything.
Instead, I looked at Logan, wanting him to tel me what had happened that day, how he'd lost his mother and sister, and why he thought knowing about it would make me think less of him.
Would make me think he wasn't the hero I knew him to be.
He didn't say a word.
Logan opened his mouth, like he was going to tel me, but then he shut it again and looked away, a haunted, guilty expression on his face. I stared down at his bare hand, which was just an inch away from mine. I knew if I touched him right now, if I reached over and took his hand in mine, my psychometry would kick in. And then I would see and feel what Logan was remembering right now-and I'd finAll y discover his secret. Why and how he'd lost his family-and the reason it was keeping us apart. The reason it made the Spartan doubt himself and who and what he was.
I cared about Logan so much, and the temptation to do it was so strong.
But then I remembered what both Professor Metis and Nike had said about free wil , about how the choices we made defined who we were. I didn't want to use my magic to find out Logan's secret. I wanted him to trust me enough to tel me about it, just the way I trusted him. And if I had to wait a little while longer for him to do that, then that was okay. My feelings for him weren't going to change, my caring about him no matter what wasn't going to change.
"I'm glad you came looking for me," I finAll y said. "Here tonight and back at the ski resort."
Logan gave me a crooked grin. "I'l always come looking for you, Gypsy girl."
He hesitated, then reached over and put his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he tightened his other arm around me, careful not to touch my bare skin.
We stayed like that for a long, long time.
The next day after classes, I slipped off campus and went to visit Grandma Frost. We sat on opposite sides of the table in the kitchen, but for once, the bright furnishings failed to cheer me up, and the scrumptious raspberry pound cake that Grandma had just baked sat uncut and untouched between us. She knew why I was here. After Logan had found me in the library, I'd talked to Metis and told the professor exactly what I'd seen when I'd touched Preston's hand, All the talk about the Helheim Dagger and All the awful, awful memories that I'd witnessed of him and the Reaper girl murdering my mom. Metis had cAll ed my grandma and told her everything. Now I wanted answers-
about a lot of things.
"I want to know what you know about Mom's death," I finAll y said, my throat closing up. "About her murder." Grandma stared at me. Then she sighed. "Gwen-"
"You might as wel tel me," I interrupted her. "It's kind of hard to keep secrets from a girl with psychometry magic, don't you think? EspeciAll y since Metis asked me to use that magic to dig through Preston's brain in the first place." She winced, but she couldn't argue with me. Not about this.
"How did you find out what reAll y happened to Mom? Or have you always known?"
Grandma fiddled with the silver coins on the edge of one of her purple scarves. "Your mom was late coming home that night.
Much, much later than she said she was going to be. I started to have this feeling that something bad had happened to her, one of my psychic flashes-this cold, aching dread in my heart that just wouldn't go away. So I cAll ed Professor Metis and asked her to go out and look for Grace. Even though your mom and I had left the warrior world behind, we were stil in contact with Aurora. I'd seen an image of a car in the rain, so I was able to tel Aurora where to start looking. She did as I asked, and eventuAll y, she found your mom... ."
Her voice trailed off for a moment, tears shimmering in her eyes, and I remembered that Grandma had lost her only daughter and that she'd loved my mom just as much as I had. Suddenly, I realized how awful that night had been for her, too-especiAll y since she'd seen part of it, thanks to her Gypsy gift.
Grandma drew in a breath. "Aurora came to the house, but I knew what she was going to say even before she told me: Grace had been murdered by Reapers. We thought it was just payback from the Reapers. We didn't know exactly why they'd targeted your mom until now."
"But Metis knew, too? That Mom had been murdered this whole time?"
She nodded. "We both thought it was best to keep the truth from you, pumpkin. Your mom ... wouldn't have wanted you to see her like that. She wouldn't have wanted you to remember her like that. Never like that."
"But why keep lying to me? EspeciAll y after I started going to Mythos?" I asked.
"Because you didn't know anything about Reapers, Loki, and the Chaos War. Your mom and I shielded you from that world, and Aurora and I thought it would be better to ease you into things, rather than hit you with everything All at once. That's why I've let you keep visiting me, even though I worry about you leaving campus." Grandma Frost sighed.
"But mostly I didn't want you to hate Mythos or who and what you are because of what happened to your mom." I snorted.
I'd hated everything after my mom had died, especiAll y the fact that I'd had to leave my old school and my old friends behind and start going to Mythos.
"Where you ever going to tel me?" I asked. "You and Metis?"
Grandma shrugged. "We hadn't thought that far ahead.
We were mainly focused on making sure that you were safe at the academy. But things haven't exactly worked out like we'd planned."
No, they hadn't. I'd been almost kil ed by Reapers twice now, and I imagined that I'd be in even more danger when I started searching for the Helheim Dagger-and the Reaper girl.
Loki's Champion. She was looking for the dagger too. I knew she was.
"What about the dagger?" I asked. "Did you know that Mom had hidden it? Do you know where it is?" Grandma Frost shook her head. "No. I knew about the dagger's existence, but that's All . I had no idea that Nike had asked Grace to hide it, and I have no idea where your mom would have left it. I would tel you if I did, pumpkin. I swear I would."
Grandma reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. A surge of truth fil ed me at the touch of her fingers against mine, along with All the love she had for me. The gentle warmth wrapped around me like a blanket, as if it could protect me from All the bad, scary, evil things out there in the world. Now, though, I knew that not even Grandma's love could do that.