I didn't mention what had happened outside the library last night. It wasn't like the falling statue had been directed at me or anything. Even if maybe I couldn't say the same thing about the Nemean prowler. But it was dead, vanished in a puff of smoke, and I wasn't, and that was all that really mattered.
Grandma Frost looked like she wanted to say something else, but then she shook her head and the moment passed. "I'm sure you're right, pumpkin."
"And they put more security on the dorms, too," I said, still hoping to ease her mind. "Which is where I'll be spending the night."
"You're not going to the dance then? It sounded like a big deal in the newsletter."
I shrugged. "It's just the homecoming dance. They're going to crown a king and queen in every class, and there'll be music and dancing and stuff. Just like at my old school."
I didn't say anything about the ritual that I'd heard the other kids talk about, the harvest blessing or whatever it really was.
"So why aren't you going?" Grandma asked. "You used to love getting dressed up for things like that before-"
She cut off her words, but we both knew what she'd been about to say. Before your mom died.
I shrugged again. "For one thing, I don't have a date. No one invited me. I don't want to go by myself and look like a total loser."
"Why not?" Grandma Frost asked. "You do lots of things by yourself. You always have."
"Yeah, but nothing like this," I said. "Nothing-"
This time, I bit off my words, but I didn't fool Grandma. She knew exactly what I'd been about to say.
"Nothing fun," she finished in a quiet voice.
Grandma Frost looked at me, her violet eyes soft and sad in her face. "It's okay for you to have fun again, Gwen. Your mom wouldn't want you to sit at home every night crying over her. She'd want you to go to the dance and have a good time, even if you didn't have a date. She'd want you to have as much fun as you could, as often as you could. Before-"
She cut off her words, and for a moment her whole body tensed. Her rings scraped together as her hands tightened into fists, and the coins on the edges of her scarves jangled together in harsh discord. Then, Grandma Frost realized that I was staring at her, and she forced herself to relax. Her hands unclenched, and the coins took on a sweeter, tinkling note.
"Before, well, before you're all grown up," she finished. "That's what your mom would have wanted. For you to go to the dance and have a wonderful time."
I knew that she would. Grace Frost would have wanted me to do exactly that. I bit my lip and looked away from Grandma's knowing gaze.
"It just doesn't feel ... right," I said. "That I'm alive, and she's not. That she'll never do anything fun again. That I'll never see her smile or hear her laugh again."
Grandma reached over and took my hand. I felt the soft warmth of her love envelop me, the way that it always did. But this time, I felt her sadness, too, an ache so sharp and deep and fierce that it seemed like a sword slicing my heart in two. Sometimes, I forgot that Grandma had lost someone, too. My mom's death had hurt her just as much as it had me.
"I know it doesn't feel right, pumpkin. But your mom's death wasn't your fault. Life has gone on, whether you've wanted it to or not. I think that it's about time that you actually started enjoying it again, don't you? Even if it's just a little bit?"
I sighed, all the energy draining out of my body. "I guess. But it's just so hard, you know? I've been so ... angry, and going to Mythos ... I just don't fit in there. I don't know why I can't just switch back to my old school. I'm just not special like the other kids are."
"You're at that academy for a reason," Grandma Frost replied, an ominous note creeping back into her voice. "You'll find your own place there sooner or later. As for your mom, she's gone, but she wouldn't want you to mope around. She'd want you to get out and live and do everything that teenagers are supposed to do."
I raised an eyebrow. "Like come home drunk and high on pot after I have unprotected sex with my boyfriend behind the bleachers at the homecoming dance?"
Grandma's eyes narrowed, but she still grinned at me. "Well, everything except that. But you know what I mean. Now, I want you to go to that dance and have fun. Or at least promise me that you'll think about it."
I couldn't say no to her, but I also couldn't let go of my guilt, hurt, and anger long enough to say yes either. "Okay. I'll think about going. But no promises."
"That's all I wanted to hear, pumpkin."
Grandma kissed me on the forehead, then got up and started putting the rest of the cooling cookies into a tin so I could take them back to the academy with me.
I just sat there at the table, thinking about everything that Grandma had said and wondering if maybe it was time to get on with my life-and have a little fun.
Whether I really felt like it or not.
Chapter 16
Once Grandma Frost packed up the cookies, I slipped the tin into my messenger bag, got on the bus, and rode back up to Mythos Academy.
The quad was almost deserted by this point, as most of the students had retreated to their dorm rooms to get ready for the homecoming dance. Normally, I would have enjoyed the silence and watching the squirrels hop from branch to branch in the trees that towered over the lush lawn. But it was like the whole academy had suddenly turned into a ghost town. It was too empty, too quiet, especially for a school where one of the students had been murdered a few days ago. Once again, I felt like all the eyes on all the statues on all the buildings were looking down at me, watching my every move. I shivered, stuck my hands into my gray hoodie pockets, and hurried on.
The Library of Antiquities wasn't any better. Not a single student sat at the tables in the main space in front of the checkout counter. No professors either. Nobody was even manning the snack cart this afternoon, and most of the lights had already been turned off in the maze of glass offices in the center of the library.
I couldn't help but look to my left at the spot where the Bowl of Tears had been-and where Jasmine had been murdered. There was nothing left to see, of course, just like there hadn't been the last time that I'd been in here the day after her death. The blood, body, and Bowl of Tears were all long gone. Still, it felt like there was a watchful silence in the spot, like there was some kind of invisible force sitting there just waiting for something to happen.
Like, say, maybe a Gypsy girl to walk by so the big, bad monster could leap up out of the floor or wherever it was hiding and grab her. I shivered again. Okay, so maybe all that was just my overactive imagination at work, but right now just looking at the place where Jasmine had been killed seriously creeped me out.