But the cold, hard truth was that my thirst for secrets, my own stupid curiosity, had gotten my mom killed. Maybe if I hadn't wanted to know Paige's secret so badly, my mom wouldn't have been working so late that night and she would have never been hit by that drunk driver on her way home.
Maybe my mom would have still been alive. Maybe we'd be eating dinner together right now. Barbecue takeout maybe, from the Pork Pit, tucked away in the cozy kitchen of our old house, just the way that we used to at least once a week. Mom would tell me about her day, her violet eyes a little sad, but I was always able to make her laugh and banish the shadows that cloaked her face. After that, she'd ask me about school or what comic book I was reading or even start teasing me about some new boy I liked. Maybe we'd be doing all of those things right now, right this very second, if things had been different.
On the other hand, maybe Paige would still be being abused by her stepdad, too.
Maybe, maybe, maybe . . .
The pain and guilt over my mom's death knifed through my heart, and I rubbed my aching chest. Sometimes, I just didn't know what was right and wrong anymore, or what I was even supposed to do with my Gypsy gift in the first place. Deep down, I didn't think that I was supposed to find lost cell phones and crumpled bras for the rest of my life. But I didn't know if I was supposed to go snooping around in other people's business either. It was the whole Spider-Man dilemma about great power coming with great responsibility. Not that I thought my psychometry was the bestest power in the world or anything. I wasn't that vain or deluded. Not after seeing what some of the kids at Mythos could do.
Maybe ... maybe I should just forget about my whole crazy plan and let Professor Metis do whatever she and the other teachers were doing to find Jasmine's killer.
But then, another memory flashed through my mind, and I remembered Jasmine lying on the library floor, staring up at the ceiling with her sightless eyes, blood all around her. Looking so still and absolutely dead.
I thought about all the mean things that I'd heard the other students say about her today. Maybe they were true, but somebody should care that Jasmine was dead. And it looked like that somebody was me. Now, it was time to actually do something about all of this, whether or not I even knew for sure if it was the right or wrong thing to do in the first place.
But it was a place to start at least, and it was way better than sitting around in the musty stacks brooding about my Gypsy gift, my mom's death, and staring at a strange sword out of the corner of my eye, wondering if it was going to stare back at me. Yeah, digging into Jasmine's death, however misguided it might be, had a lot more appeal than all that.
I packed up my things and left the library.
I'd been inside the Library of Antiquities longer than I'd thought, because twilight was starting to fall when I stepped outside. I checked my watch. After six already. Classes were over for the day, and except for a few kids going to and from the library, the grassy lawn was deserted. At this hour, most of the students were busy with club meetings, sports practice, or getting some dinner in the dining hall before they went back to their dorm rooms to finish their homework. But I didn't mind the gray twilight or the empty quad. The darkening quiet made for better skulking.
I hurried past the five main academy buildings, winding my way down one of the cobblestone paths until I reached Valhalla Hall. The girls' dorm was a three-story gray stone structure, covered with thick ivy vines just like all the other buildings. According to her Web profile, Jasmine's room was on the second floor, which meant that I couldn't just crawl in through an open window or something. Naturally, things just couldn't be that easy for me.
I didn't bother going around to the back of the dorm and trying to get in that way. I knew from living in Styx Hall that's where all the smokers liked to hang out, puffing on cigarettes and occasionally some pot. At Styx, you had to wade through clouds of smoke to get inside and then you reeked of tobacco until you could take a shower. So not worth it.
But all the doors on all the dorms had a machine that you had to swipe your student ID through to get inside. For security reasons and to try to keep the guys, the girls, and their various hookups to a minimum, your ID card only let you into your assigned dorm, which meant that my ID only worked at Styx Hall and not here at Valhalla. Frustration filled me. I'd forgotten about that pertinent detail in my hurry to get over here. Kids could buzz other kids into the dorm through an intercom system outside, but of course I didn't have any friends who roomed in this dorm who would let me in. I didn't have any friends at all.
But I wasn't ready to give up just yet. My eyes scanned the paths that wound by the dorms. After about ten seconds, I spotted a familiar face-a petite Valkyrie girl who was in my English lit class. A girl who'd probably never noticed me before and had absolutely no idea who I was-and, more important, that I didn't exactly belong here. It was worth a shot.
I walked up the steps to the front door of the dorm and started rummaging through my messenger bag, like I was looking for my ID card. A few seconds later, the Valkyrie climbed up the steps. I turned to face her and moved off to one side.
"Forgot my ID card again," I said in a bright voice, and smiled. "Can you scan yours for me, please?"
The other girl gave me a strange look, but she slid her card through the machine, opened the door, and stepped inside. So much for that stellar security Professor Metis had been talking about last night. I followed the Valkyrie inside.
The inside of Valhalla Hall looked pretty much like my dorm. The first floor was a series of common areas linked together, including the living room that I was standing in right now, although it was a lot nicer than the one at Styx Hall, with upscale, expensive-looking furniture. Several couches and recliners ringed three huge TVs. One of them was tuned to some cheesy reality program, although the girl sitting in front of it was more interested in texting on her phone than watching the show.
I didn't waste time gawking but instead hurried up the stairs to the second floor. My luck held, and I didn't run into any more Valkyries. Just about everyone was still out on campus doing their own thing, and the dorm was still and quiet.
I quickly made my way to 21V, which was Jasmine's room, according to her online profile. The door was closed, but other than that, there was no indication that this was the room of a girl who'd been murdered. There was no yellow crime scene tape strung up or anything. Not that I was complaining, but it was just kind of weird, like everything else at Mythos.
I stood there a moment, looking at the door, wondering if this was really the right thing to do. But I'd come too far to back out now. And yeah, I was a little curious about what Jasmine's room looked like. Everyone had been talking about how great it was. Sue me for wondering. Besides, I'd already done most of the breaking-I might as well do the entering and stealing, too. So I drew in a breath, reached for the doorknob, and rattled it.