It’s mid-May and the temperature is pushing ninety-something. As I toss the last box into the trunk, I pull my hair up into messy ponytail and then tie the bottom of my T-shirt so that it sits above my waist. I have cut-offs on and my combat boots, the one’s with the broken buckle. It’s hot and I seriously wish that someone would create a law that we could be allowed to walk around naked when it’s this hot.
Unfortunately if I stripped down and paraded around the campus naked, I’d probably get arrested. Given the right time and my mood, though, and I’d probably be glad to be handcuffed and thrown into a police car. Plus, it might get me out of going down to the police department on Monday.
* * *
When I pull up to Preston’s trailer house, there’s a party going on. I’m a little irked because he knew I was moving back today and it’s going to be a pain in the ass trying to get my stuff in the house with a bunch of annoying drunk dumb-asses hanging out in the living room.
I park the car as close to the front door as possible, but there’s a line of cars blocking the driveway. People are standing all over the front yard, on the driveway, and on the steps leading to the front door. Most of them are older, but some are about my age. Plastic cups and cigarettes in their hands. I haven’t lived here for nine months and apparently I’ve forgotten what it was like and why I decided to live in the dorms. Living here is like having to deal at parties all the time.
Sighing, I get out of the car and adjust my hair into a more secure ponytail as I bump the door shut with my hip. Some guy wearing an oversize hoodie whistles at me and I shake my head and disregard him as I weave around the people toward the front door.
“What’s up, baby? You come here to give me another show,” a douche named Trey calls out as I walk by him and through the front door. He’s in his midtwenties and when I was staying here he used to walk into my room all the time pretending to be lost when really he was trying to catch me changing, which he did once. I’d have locked the doors but there aren’t any locks on any of them, except for the bathroom.
“I’ll give you another show,” I say, shutting the screen door. “Just as long as I can give you that painful knee-to-the-nuts reminder of what happens after you steal a show?”
His eyelids lower as he puckers a kiss at me and then laughs like he’s the most hilarious person on earth. “It’s a deal.”
I let the screen door slam shut in his face. Cigarette smoke and the pungent scent of weed engulfs me as I squeeze through the crowded room. “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down blares from the stereo and some weirdo tripping in the corner is pretending to play air guitar. When I first moved in with Preston things weren’t like this, but that was because of Kelley. Yeah, they were dealers and sometimes I think that was part of the reason they adopted me, so I could go to all the high school parties and sell stuff for them. I wasn’t a fan of it, but I didn’t care, either, so I did what they asked because they gave me a home. But they never brought their dealing or their clients home like this, Kelley would never have allowed it.
I head down the hall toward Preston’s room, knowing he’s probably in there doing something highly illegal. I pause at the door and knock, but the music playing in his bedroom is even louder than the music in the living room. After the third knock I turn the knob and open the door, hoping he’s not having sex or anything. He’s not but there are four guys on the bed with him and they’re circled around a blue bong shaped like a vase and there’s a guy and a girl on the television screen, the guy ramming her from behind as she moans and whimpers. I’ve seen p**n videos here and there, but not under circumstances where I paid attention to it. But right now, I can’t seem to take my eyes off it. The guy looks so content in this really intense way and so does the girl, but there’s no emotion toward each other. They’re just there in the moment. I wonder if that’s what I look like all the time. Just there in my life.
Finally I blink my eyes away from the screen and fix my attention on the bed. One of the guys has his mouth to the mouthpiece of the tall, slender glass bong and a lighter in his hand, about ready to light up. He says something to Preston and then Preston looks over at the television with this euphoric look on his face.
I’m deciding if I really want to stick around just so I get high off secondhand smoke tonight and sit around watching p**n with a bunch of guys, when Preston notices me lingering in the doorway. His bloodshot blue eyes light up as they scale my body and then he says something as a languid smile spreads on his face, but the music’s too loud for me to make out his words.
“What?” I shout, cupping my hand around my ear.
He turns the music down that’s playing from an old stereo, the smile still on his face as he waves me over to him. The other four guys suddenly notice me, and their undivided attention is unwelcomed on my part. I know there’s something wrong about the situation, but it’s hard to determine what exactly the wrong part is because I’ve seen so much wrong that sometimes it starts to seem right.
I let out a breath, knowing I’m going to have my hands full with five stoned, horny guys in the room. I walk over to the bed and when I reach the edge Preston’s fingers spread around my waist. Pressing his fingertips into me, he guides me to his lap and sits me down on it. I still have my shirt tied up so his hands are on my bare skin and I’m pretty sure I feel his hard-on pressing against my ass. I’m not enthusiastic about the situation so I casually start to slide off his lap, but he only constricts his grip and secures me in place. It stings and I wouldn’t be surprised if he leaves red marks on my skin. It doesn’t feel like he’s being friendly at all, but territorial. Pins and needles prick at my skin as I feel the confusing, indecipherable emotions tied to the moment, to Preston. He means something to me—this means something. I tap my fingers on my leg, trying to figure out what to do.
He leans closer and puts his scruffy chin on my shoulder. “Why are you so tense? Is it the weed or the video?”
I force one of my infamous plastic smiles as I rotate my head toward him. “I’m just tired. I spent all day packing and I still have to go back and finish up.” I don’t mention the thing about the detective because I don’t want to talk about it at the moment.
“Well, I’ll help you unpack the car,” he says, his hands wandering from my waist to the top of my thighs as he glances at the television screen. “That should help, right?”