I cover his mouth with my hand. “No more waiting. I want this—I want you.”
His breath falters as he nods. This time, when he kisses me, it’s slow, savoring, as if he’s memorizing the feel of my lips. While I kiss him back as I lift my hips, he slides inside me. For a brief moment, I feel pain connected to the last time I had sex. However, it quickly vanishes and all that remains is pleasure.
Want.
Need.
Desire.
For him.
“Good God, Avery,” he groans as he thrusts deeply into me.
I respond by digging my nails into his shoulder blades, begging him closer.
He gives me what I want, slipping deep inside me.
And our bodies join beneath the night sky.
But the stars seem much more distant, much dimmer.
As if they’re fading.
Until they’re completely gone.
And there’s nothing left.
Except Tristan and me.
Chapter 38
The past isn’t quite gone yet.
Avery
It’s early morning by the time Tristan and I leave the beach. Thirty minutes later, he’s dropping me off at The Vibe where my Jeep is parked. My lips are swollen from all the kissing, my body still tingling everywhere that he touched me, and my mind continues to spin over what happened. Part of me worries it was wrong. However, most of me believes it was right. And I feel so happy, so content, more than I have in a very long time.
“Drive safely,” Tristan whispers after he’s done kissing me goodbye. “And, please, call me if you need anything. In fact, call me when you get home, just so I know you’re safe.”
I nod and then get out of the car. He waits until I’m in my vehicle and the engine is started before he drives away with me following him to the exit where we turn in opposite directions. As his taillights fade in my rearview mirror, I suddenly feel so lonely. The loneliness only increases when I realize that, in just a few short weeks, I’ll watch him leave permanently.
“This sucks,” I mutter as I turn down a side road that is lined with trees and empty land being prepped for development. “Maybe I was wrong to let him in my life.” But as soon as I say it, I know I’m wrong. I’ve regretted a lot of things in my life—big, scarring things—but my time with Tristan isn’t now, nor will it ever be, one of those things.
As I make the journey home, smoking a cigarette, I drift into my thoughts over what I’m going to do when it’s time for Tristan to go. I’m halfway home, driving on one of the empty back roads, when I hear a rasping noise behind my seat. My hairs stand on end as I realize I’m not alone in the car.
Keep driving. Keep driving. Pretend everything is okay.
I flick the butt of my cigarette out the window, glance over at my phone on the passenger seat, and then reach for it to text Tristan.
“Don’t even think about it.”
I jerk back at the sound of Conner’s voice and almost veer off the road into a tree. Regaining control of the car, I swerve back onto the road, the tires skidding against the asphalt.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” My knuckles whiten as I grasp the steering wheel. “And how did you get into my car? The doors were locked.”
He rises up from the back seat and leans over the console to snatch up my phone. “I think you know me well enough to know locked doors aren’t going to stop me.”
“If that’s true, then why are you just getting to me now? Was it to torture me?”
He rests his heavily tattooed arms on the console, close enough that I can smell the booze flowing off him. “That was part of the reason. I was also being careful.” He reaches for a strand of my hair, and I lean my head to the side. “I didn’t want to give the cops a reason to put me in jail again.”
“You’re breaking your restraining order right now,” I remind him, “which means jail time.”
He waves me off, sitting back in the seat and fiddling around with my phone. “They’ll never catch me. Besides, even if they did, I’d get out in a few months and be right back in your life.” A dark look crosses his face as he reads something on the screen. “So this is what you’ve been up to… you dirty, little skank.”
What the hell is he looking at?
I desperately want to reach back and snatch my phone away but know it will only make things worse, so I clutch onto the wheel. “I don’t want you in my life anymore, Conner. I just want you to leave me alone. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, so give me my phone back and get the hell out of my car.”
“All you’ve ever wanted.” He leans forward, getting in my face, his breath burning my cheeks. “What about what I wanted? Like a life not tied down to a family. Or a wife who doesn’t nag.” He punches the seat beside my head and I flinch, my hands starting to tremble. “All that time I spent with you and for what? To end up in jail.”
“You did it to yourself,” I say. “You chose to deal drugs and to… well, make me pay back your debt that day.”
“I would have never been caught if you hadn’t set the place on fire!” he screams in my ear. “Only a psychopath does that!”
My eardrums are ringing, fear slams through my pulse, and I’m gasping so hard my vision is spotting. I should pull over the car, but I’m worried of what he’ll do to me if I stop driving.
“Only a psychopath whores out their wife and lets her get raped while he watches,” I bite back venomously. It’s the first time I’ve ever gotten a chance to yell at him for what happened, and it feels good. Way fucking good. “Do you know how fucked up that was?”
“You didn’t do anything to stop it,” he growls. “You just laid there and took it like the whore you are.”
I slam on the brakes and the car lurches forward, sending him flying over the console toward the window, but he sticks his arm out and catches himself at the last second.
“You fucking cunt!” he screams as he falls into the passenger seat. “I’m going to make you pay for that so much that you’ll regret the day you met me!”
“I regret that already!” I shout, gasping for air, terrified and enraged out of my mind. “For years now, I’ve wished I could go back and never agree to go out with you!”
“Well, sucks to be you since you can’t erase your past.” He smirks at me as he opens the door and gets out.
I’d be relieved, but I know him well enough to know it’s not over.