Oh, sweet baby Jesus, we needed to make up real quick, then. I reached out so I could trace the line of one of his golden eyebrows.
“I’m sorry you felt like you had to go to such an extreme just to talk about our relationship. That isn’t right and it isn’t fair to you. I was just freaking out and I know I didn’t handle it correctly.”
His chest rose and fell as he exhaled loudly. He caught my hand and used it to pull me over him so that I was lying across his broad chest.
“It’s not the freak-out or the way you handled it that worries me. It’s the fact that you felt like you had to freak out in the first place. I know the whole Poppy thing is tricky and uncomfortable, but I think I have it figured out now. But even if I didn’t, it has been you for months now, Salem. I just don’t get how you can’t know that.”
He brushed his fingers through my hair and it felt so good I wanted to purr like a cat and rub up against him.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s the same as me telling you I’m here because you’re here and that means I’m not leaving and yet you still look at me all the time like I’m going to vanish into thin air. We can know one thing, Rowdy, but our heart holds on to something else.”
“I don’t want it to hold on to that anymore. I just want it to hold on to you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and had to swallow around how happy and terrified his words made me.
“Yeah?”
He nodded and his chin rubbed against the top of my head. “Yeah.”
“We just need to let everything go. We have to trust each other if we’re going to be together. I missed you this week and so did Jimbo.”
He yawned so loud I heard his jaw crack and he squeezed me closer. “I’m older now and a lot bigger than you. Getting away isn’t going to be as easy as it once was, Salem. I’m not going to let you run anymore.”
He sounded so sure, and for the first time since this all started between us I just believed. I believed in him. I believed in me and I believed in this thing between us having enough legs to be real and forever because that was what fate, and maybe something bigger than fate, wanted for both of us.
“I’m not looking to get away, Rowdy.”
I was expecting some kind of clever comeback, one of his off-the-cuff quips, but all I got was a steady rise and fall of that strong chest and his breath moving my hair as he breathed in and out above my head. The big jerk had fallen asleep on me.
I sighed and wiggled off of him so that I could wrestle his legs up on the air mattress so that he would be more comfortable. I couldn’t blame him. It was a challenging drive after a full day of work and I’m sure his week hadn’t been any better than mine. I was bummed out that his crashing out early shot all my visions of playing sexy cowgirl on top of him with no one around to hear me scream in pleasure all to hell.
Slightly put out, I dug around in the bag my sister packed until I found a pair of yoga pants and a tank to sleep in. I made a PB&J for dinner and tried to send Poppy a text to make sure she took Jimbo out before bed but was further disgruntled to find that this far out in the woods there was no service. I killed an hour and then decided all there was to do was curl up next to Rowdy and try to sleep, so I shut down the lanterns and curled up next to him as close as I could. His massive frame took up most of the available space.
I listened to the lulling sounds of the forest and the night. I listened to Rowdy’s rhythmic breathing and sighed when he wrapped his arm around me in his sleep and hauled me tightly to his side.
I realized it really was all about where I had ended up and not where I had been, because as long as he was there, wherever that happened to be was going to be where I was supposed to be at as well.
Even if that place was some forgotten cabin in the Colorado mountains.
CHAPTER 15
Rowdy
IT WAS THE FIRST full night of sleep that I had gotten since she walked away from me earlier in the week. I don’t know what woke me up before dawn, maybe the fact the air mattress was sagging in the middle or the call of the birds in the pine trees, but something had my eyes popping open before it was even light out. I automatically reached for the body that was supposed to be curled up alongside mine and jerked up into a sitting position when I came up empty.
The cabin was tiny, so it was easy to see I was alone and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where my city girl would’ve gotten off to before the sun was even in the sky. I mean there was no bathroom, the place was beyond rustic, but I didn’t think Salem was the type to go tromping through the woods without letting me know where she was going or waking me up to hold the flashlight for her. So I pushed my messy hair off my face, pulled my boots on, and went to find her.
It didn’t take long. The cabin was in a clearing that sat on a crystal-clear lake that was fed from runoff from the mountains. The area was a national forest and the land that wasn’t part of it was privately owned by guys like Phil that just wanted a quiet escape from the city. This wasn’t a lake that allowed anything with a motor on the water, but there was still a weather-beaten dock for rowboats and kayaks jutting out from the rough shoreline. Salem was sitting on the end with her legs dangling over the side, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while she watched the first rays of dawn break across the sky. When I got closer I noticed she had an open beer in her hand and a soft smile on her beautiful face. If I had had paper and something to draw with, I would have captured the moment for posterity.
I sat down behind her and trapped her between my longer legs and wrapped an arm across her chest to pull her back so that she was resting against my chest.
“Breakfast of champions.” I took the beer from her and took a swig, making a face as I did. It was too early for Coors Light, but whatever.
“I couldn’t figure out how to turn the little stove thing on.”
I’d brought a camp stove up so we could have breakfast and coffee but I hadn’t bothered to hook the propane up to it. Good thing. She probably would have blown us up messing with it. Beer was a poor substitute for coffee this early in the morning, though.
“You’re up early.” I linked our fingers together on one hand and rested my chin on the top of her head. There was nothing like sunrise and sunset in the mountains. The entire sky turned orange and red and looked like flames racing across the jagged peaks.
“It was quiet and it’s never quiet. I wanted to enjoy it for a minute. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so pretty.”