I squealed in surprise when he picked me up and crushed me to his chest. I didn’t think I was ever going to get tired of the solid way he felt pressed against me. He pressed a hard kiss to my mouth, and I put my hands on either side of his face to hold him there. I missed him, missed this, but I didn’t have any delusion that this was the last of the bumps in the road we were probably going to have to face if we managed to stay together. It took a special kind of man to stick around when the reality of fatherhood was looking him right in the eye. We didn’t know each other well enough to know if this was going to be it for us, but he affected me enough, moved me in ways I was continually surprised by, that I liked to think with some work he very well could be my new dream, that he could indeed fit what my new idea of perfect might be.
When he set me back on my feet, I laughed a little and moved my hands from his face to his shoulders.
“We might need to slow things down between us a little bit. We’re going to be moving full steam ahead, and while there is no question that we are sexually compatible, we should probably figure out if we can stand to be around each other for the long haul.”
He dropped his head so that his forehead was resting against mine. “All right.”
I tapped him on the chin with my index finger. “And you need to make nice with Rule. Family is important and he’s going to be this kid’s uncle. Plus Shaw is going to drive everyone nuts trying to fix things if you can’t patch it all up on your own. Same goes for your folks.” I would never squander family away, and he was just going to have to reconcile that fact if this was going to work.
He pulled back and bit the tip of my finger, which made me scowl up at him.
“Repentance is my new middle name. Rule and I are both afflicted with the Archer stubborn streak and I can’t really be mad at him for wanting to protect you. He’s right: I did do the same thing to him over Shaw. The only difference is I don’t have the reputation of the Mile-High Lothario to warrant it. I’ll work it all out, I swear this matters to me. More than anything I can remember since I started looking out for the twins.”
I finally wrapped my arms around his lean waist and gave him the hug I had been dying to give him since I saw him standing in the shop.
Of course, as soon as I walked back in the shop, the boys jumped all over me. Rule was still all fired up and pissed off, Nash was acting like a concerned big brother even though he was younger than me, and Rowdy was just watching it all with a maniacal grin that made me want to hurt his pretty face. There were only about ten minutes until we opened, so I dragged all three of them into the back room and faced off with them. Telling them to back off and mind their own wasn’t going to cut it, so I laid it out for them in terms even stubborn, hardheaded, but well-meaning boys could understand.
I told them I was having Rome’s baby and I didn’t want to hear a single word about it because it was still so early and things were so tenuous. I thought Rule was going to go through the roof until I smacked him with the back of my hand in the gut and told him to calm down. Nash looked like he was in shock, and Rowdy was the only one to press a tiny kiss to the top of my head and tell me congratulations. I explained that what I was or was not doing with Rome had nothing to do with them and that everybody better play nice because the big picture was that I was having a kid and everybody I loved and cared about was going to be a part of his or her life, whether they liked it or not. Rule and I had a pretty lengthy stare-down, but really it was cute, and at his center he was a big ol’ pile of mush, so eventually he caved and scooped me up in a rib-breaking hug.
He told me he was still going to whup Rome’s ass if he didn’t start acting right toward me and I informed him that he was going to have to get in line. Nash was harder to crack. He just kept looking at me, then down at my stomach, then back up to my face, and shaking his head slowly from side to side. I just waited him out. Nash was a softy; he was more rational than the other guys, but his own upbringing had left some nasty scars and I don’t think he was really comfortable with any human smaller than a bread box.
“It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me a one-armed hug that was so tight it almost hurt.
“Don’t get me wrong, Rome is a cool dude. I’ve always looked up to him, but lately he hasn’t been acting like any guy that’s going to be a dad should act.”
“I just found out yesterday.”
“But you knew before that, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Just be careful. I love ya both and don’t want to have to pick between either one of you.”
“Stop. We wouldn’t do that.”
Nash smiled a sad smile that looked so out of place on that handsome face and under that ring in his nose. “That’s what every parent says.”
He walked away leaving me speechless. Rowdy slid up next to me and hooked my arm through his.
“You’re gonna be a great mom. Everything else will fall into place and everybody else can get over their own shit.”
I grunted and rested my head on his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“What about the guy? He the right one to do this with?”
“I think so.” And I really did. He might make me work a little bit for it, but I really did think he was worth the effort. I was so happy to hear that he had taken steps on his own to seek out some help for the nightmares chasing him from his time in the military. I could chase the shadows with him, as long as he was willing to let me bring the light in.
“He hasn’t let me get upright since we started this thing.” I wiggled my eyebrows up and down suggestively, which made him laugh. “Literally and figuratively.”
“Sideways it is.” Rowdy reached down and patted my still-flat tummy. “This is going to be so fun to watch.”
I snorted at him and elbowed him in the side. The fact was, I could do sideways. I could do the unexpected. What I couldn’t do was heartbroken and shattered, so big brother better be on board with that or there was no telling what I was going to do. Heck, I would even be able to blame it on hormones.
CHAPTER 10
Rome
Taking it slow sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty sure I was falling in love with Cora. I had spent the last two weeks trying to drink her out of my head and feeling like a royal ass**le for ditching her without a word. It was another pu**y move in a list that seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. I was embarrassed by the fact I couldn’t pull it together, ashamed she had seen me so broken and open. I had known going in that she was leery about all the dips and valleys in my personality, but having her bear witness to my own personal hell was just too much for my ego and already battered pride to take, so I ran. It was cowardly and it was weak, but I didn’t think I could handle her looking at me like I was someone to pity, someone that needed to be fixed. So I buried my head in a bottle of vodka and tried to drink it all away. My reasons for avoiding her didn’t hold any more water than my reasons for avoiding my folks, a fact that I couldn’t ignore or drink away.