I wasn’t exactly sure what getting a rocker cut off meant, but it sounded like it was all in my favor, so I nodded once more and pushed off the table.
“Thanks. I’m just glad nobody got hurt any worse or the bar didn’t end up even more trashed.”
“Brite likes you. Thinks you’re a good kid with a lot of potential. That means you’re good people in my book. We look out for good people.”
I wasn’t sure if that was entirely true. I knew from Cora that Asa was still in a cast from a beat-down by a Southern chapter of the SoS, but I guess as long as they didn’t want to start anything up with me, I couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I shook the guy’s hand but didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until every last one of them trekked back out the front door. I went up the bar to where Darcy had stuck her head out of the kitchen to keep an eye on things.
“That was intense.”
She nodded and handed me a glass of water from the other side of the bar. “Brite ran around with them when he got back after his first deployment. He was into all kinds of bad stuff. That was why wife number one left.”
“I could see that. Those are some scary-ass dudes.”
“Brite was just as scary. Still can be when he puts his mind to it. You’re lucky you remind him so much of himself when he was around your age.”
I was starting to agree with her. I was thinking more and more that even though I was at some serious loose ends, I really was a lucky guy. I liked hanging out in the bar and all my diligent work had it looking less like a hole in the wall and more like an actual, respectable establishment. I was learning the regulars, learning their stories, and it made me feel less alone the longer I spent here. I had spent the last week with Cora, either at her place or mine, and the more time I spent in her company, the harder it was to want to be away from her.
She let me take her out to dinner and a movie and we ended the night back at my place. The following night she surprised me by showing up at the bar and demanding that I let her take me out. I had never in my life had that happen before, but I let her have her way because she was so damn cute and I could tell underneath her usually sassy attitude she was really freaking out about the unprotected-sex thing. I probably should be more concerned about it than I was, but I made sure I was prepared now and I just tried to do my best to stay calm about it since she seemed to be worried about it enough for the both of us.
My brother was not stoked at the newest development in my love life and I had been subjected to no less than five lectures from him, Nash, Shaw, Ayden, and Rowdy; even Asa had given me the what for about all the bad things that would befall me should I leave her high and dry or decide that her big mouth was too much to handle. I was sure Jet would have gotten in on the rake Rome over the coals action as well if he had been in town. I didn’t even want to know what would happen if they found out she was worried about a possible unplanned pregnancy.
I really liked spending time with her. She was spunky, said what was on her mind, and had no trouble letting me know if I was drifting off on her, getting too lost in my own head. We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but she made me want to laugh, and looking at her made me smile. Not to mention I couldn’t keep my hands and mouth off of her. She was just so sweet and so easy to get to respond. I had never been with anyone like her before. She was all glittery and shiny, so I had no difficulty finding her in the dark that sometimes clouded my vision, and so far I had been lucky. With her sprawled on top of me, I somehow managed to sleep through the night. Not a single nightmare, no incidents of waking up to bloodcurdling screams. It was a really nice change of pace and reason alone to keep her around.
I was going to ask Darcy if she would make me something to snack on for dinner before I headed over to the shop to grab Cora for the night, when the chair next to me suddenly pulled out and was occupied by the last person I would’ve expected to see in the bar. Eyes that matched my own looked back at me and it floored me how old my dad looked after nearly a year of no contact. We had similar dark hair and the same blue eyes; his were paler, more like Rule’s, and he was tall and broad, but not nearly as tall as I was. He was always a sturdy, steady guy, but clearly since the last time I had been home, things had taken a toll on him. He looked almost as much like a stranger to me as I thought I would look to him after all this time. Today was apparently my day for unwanted visitors.
“What are you doing here?”
He sighed and asked Darcy for a cup of coffee. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.
“That’s all you have to say to me after ignoring me and your mother for a year?”
“How did you know where to find me?” I lifted an eyebrow and then answered my own question. “Shaw. That little girl can’t stop trying to pull this family together.”
“Rome.” He sighed so heavily I felt it weigh across my own shoulders. I had always wanted to make my folks proud of me. They had never really been excited about my choice to enlist when I was younger, but as time went on they grew to understand my motivation, my drive to help others, be active in making the world a safer place for my brothers and for them. It bothered me to see the disappointment in his eyes and marked on his face.
“This has to stop at some point. I fought to bring Rule back into the fold, told your mother it was this family or I was done. I’m not going to let another one of my boys go, not without one hell of a fight. I let you stew, let you and Rule act like it was a personal affront we never talked about Remy as a family, but the time for that is done. We need to figure out how to move forward from this point on. End of story.”
I felt like a little kid getting scolded for getting his clothes dirty while out playing. I rubbed a hard hand across the back of my neck and looked down at the bar I still needed to strip and refinish.
“It’s more than just Remy and the secrets. It’s the way Mom treated Rule, it’s the way everyone just let Remy use Shaw. It’s the fact I don’t feel at all like the same guy I was when I left last time. I don’t know how to fit into this family anymore. I don’t know what role I’m supposed to be filling.”
I didn’t have the nerve or the right words to try to explain to him that I didn’t know how I would make it through having him and Mom look at me like they didn’t know who I was anymore. Disappointment I could handle, dismissal I could not, so instead I was hiding and avoiding it altogether.