“Like you?”
“Is that a short joke?” I didn’t get an answer as he disappeared down the deck steps, but his deep laughter followed him. I made a face as Jet and Ayden, the two newlyweds I shared a house with along with Ayden’s wayward brother, caught my eye. They were snuggling and too cute to ignore.
“See … like I always said, you two are just perfect. That’s what I want.”
I knew I sounded wistful, but I couldn’t keep the longing for that kind of love, that type of connection, out of my voice. I thought I had had it once, and when I realized I didn’t, it nearly broke me.
“I keep telling you that your expectations are too high.” Jet tried to sound lighthearted about it, but he didn’t know about my broken engagement or the fact that my ex-fiancé was planning on getting married at the end of the summer.
“Love isn’t perfect. It’s hard work and sometimes it’s more effort to be in love than it is to just run away. If you keep looking for perfect, the real thing is going to pass right by you.”
I waved a hand at him because I knew he was speaking from a place of experience. His road to Ayden hadn’t been without a pit stop or two in Stupidville, but they made it and I could only hope for such a beautiful outcome. I took my seat back by Asa and I could swear he was mentally taking notes on all of us. Those gears behind his gold eyes always seemed to be turning.
“I’ll know it when I see it.”
I said it to Jet, but really I was reaffirming to myself that I would know it this time when it came along. I wouldn’t be fooled by a pretty face and promises of devotion. I wouldn’t end up anyone’s joke or castoff ever again. The fact that so many of my friends were stumbling headfirst into their happily-ever-after gave my tired heart hope that I couldn’t be far behind.
When the wedding invitation Jimmy had cruelly sent in the mail landed in my hands, it was a wake-up call. I had loved a guy who had cheated on me, lied to me, made me a laughingstock, with everything that I was. I wanted to spend my life with him, build a business with him, and have children with him. All of it. He, on the other hand, had wanted to have sex with his tattoo clients and lead me on for as long as possible. If I hadn’t had to go back to the shop one night because I forgot something and walked in on him with a girl who was barely out of her teens, there was a good chance I would be married to the rat bastard right now.
Still, to this day what hurt the most was that everyone knew. The people I thought were my friends, the coworkers I thought of as my family, they all knew and no one had said a word. They let me play the fool, let Jimmy put me at risk, use me and humiliate me without so much as a peep. It was awful. If my dad’s old buddy Phil hadn’t come to town to visit him when all of it was falling to pieces, I don’t know where I would be now. The guys at the shop had saved me.
“Ayd and Jet just snuck out through the side gate. Looks like you’re gonna have to get the gimp home.”
I looked at Asa and then at the gate, which was indeed swinging shut. I made an offhand comment about being newlyweds but didn’t get much further because Shaw plopped down next to me on the patio furniture and wiped at her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. The rest of the guys followed, carrying the now-burned remains of the barbecue Rule had been working on.
I reached out to pat my friend on the leg. Shaw was a beautiful girl. She had this ethereal, otherworldly beauty that took a minute to get used to. It made my heart twinge in sympathy to see her big green eyes look so sad. No one wanted to make Shaw cry, it was like kicking a fairy-tale princess when she was down.
The guys all gathered around the food and popped the tops for another round of beers. It looked like they were going with the time-honored, male way of dealing with things by ignoring the entire thing. Not that I could blame them. None of them seemed to want to call Rome out on his ridiculous behavior and I knew all of them well enough to know that stubborn didn’t even begin to cover how they acted when they made up their minds about something.
“You okay?”
Shaw blinked at me and gave me a lopsided grin. It was just her way to always want things to be okay for everyone.
“I’ll live. Part of me thinks they should just beat the crap out of each other to get whatever is going on between them out in the open. But I don’t think Rule would know when to back down and I think Rome could kill him if he lost control. I don’t know what happened to him this last tour, but that guy is not the guy I grew up with.”
I lifted my eyebrow and took the plate Rowdy handed me as he sat down across from me and put his feet up on the arm of my chair. I made a face at him, but he was forgiven when he tossed me a beer.
“You know, everyone keeps saying that, but I met big brother a few times before and he never struck me as a barrel of laughs. The guy has always been wound up pretty tight.”
Shaw took the plate Rule handed her and scooted over on the bench seat to make room for him next to her. They were an odd pair at first glance but the love they shared was a tangible thing and I tried really hard not to be jealous about it.
“It has to do with more than Remy.” Rule’s deep voice was gruff and I could tell he was stewing over the latest run-in with his brother.
I cracked open the beer and offered my own two cents. “Who cares what it has to do with? He’s a jerk face for no reason. Screw him.”
Rowdy shook his head at me and Shaw and Rule both rolled their eyes. As usual, it was up to Nash to be the voice of reason.
“We don’t just write off people that we care about, Cora. You know this.”
I did. This group was fiercely loyal and honest to a fault, which is why I loved them like I did. I just hated to see one person causing so much strife with so many different, wonderful people.
“I gotta say I’m glad he doesn’t have your temper, Rule. I think one solid hit with those mitts of his and I would’ve ended up like Asa over there.” Rowdy indicated the southern playboy with a tilt of his beer.
Asa had taken a beating so bad that he had been in a coma for several weeks. It was a miracle he had come out of it as unscathed as he had.
Rule grunted and put his free arm around Shaw as she leaned into his side. They really were too cute for words. I had to bite back an envious sigh. Rule glanced at the gate Rome had just stormed out of and stated, “He’s never been much of a brawler. I mean, when we were younger he would wade in when Nash and I started shit, but he was never the type to start anything himself. That’s why I don’t get what is going on with him lately. I’m about sick of it, though.”