It was mad. Beyond words. Even as I struggled to find something real, however, it persisted.
I could do it with the council’s permission. It would shatter everything, and there would be no going back, but if I did—if Adonis really loved me the way I loved him—it might be crazy enough to work.
“Hermes,” I said in as steady a voice as I could muster. “Would you please help Adonis into one of the guest rooms and keep him company? I need to speak with my husband alone.”
“Of course,” mumbled Hermes, and he helped Adonis to his feet. Adonis stumbled, but he managed to right himself, and at last he let go of my hand. But even as the pair of them walked up the aisle, his touch still lingered on my skin.
Yes. It was mad. It was insane. But I loved him too much not to try.
Once they were gone, I stood and smoothed my dress. “Sit down,” I said softly, and though Hades frowned, he obeyed. I took a deep breath. Now or never. “I want to give up my immortality.”
His silver eyes widened, and his jaw went lax. Before he could object, I continued.
“The way you feel for me—that’s how I feel for Adonis. I love him. He breathed life back into me, and I want nothing more than to spend eternity with him. You would give up your immortality for me. I know you would. And I cannot tell you how much that means to me—how much you mean to me, even if I can’t show you the way you want me to. But I want to do the same for Adonis. And I need your help.”
Hades stared at me for the longest minutes of my life. He didn’t blink, he didn’t breathe, and even his heart stopped beating. The silence grew around us, heavy with everything we both couldn’t say, and at last I reached forward to touch his hand.
“This is the greatest gift you could ever give me,” I said softly. “I’ve spent my existence living a life I never wanted. I couldn’t be more grateful for all you’ve done for me, but we will never be happy together. Not the way I am with Adonis, and not the way you deserve to be. I’ve done terrible things to you, things I can never make up for, and I’ve broken more promises than I can count. But if you do this for me, if you support me in front of the council and give me your permission to step down from my throne, I promise I will love you until the sun fades and there is nothing left of me.”
A single tear escaped the corner of his eye, trickling down his cheek and pooling at the corner of his mouth. The shadows in the throne room danced with the torches’ flames, and for an eternity, our eyes locked together as he searched for something he would never find.
Hades set his free hand over mine, and at last he whispered, “Very well. If it means your happiness, then you may be free.”
I touched his cheek, brushing away the glistening trail on his skin. “Thank you.”
He nodded once and stood, brushing past me without a word. In his measured gait, he walked up the aisle, and before he could reach the door, he was gone.
* * *
The council convened less than an hour later. Whatever Hades had said to get them all to appear must have been something, but then again, no one had tried to give up their immortality before.
I stood in the center of the Olympic throne room, surrounded by the fourteen members of the council. My own throne was gone. Zeus rose as Mother, the final member to join us, took her seat, and my heart hammered. She refused to look at me.
“Daughter,” said Zeus, and I inclined my head with as much respect as I could bear to show him. He was the reason I was in this situation to begin with, after all. “Our brother has informed us that you desire to step down from your role as Queen of the Underworld and shed your immortality, all to be with a mortal.”
“Yes,” I said, glancing at Aphrodite. Her eyes were thin as slits, and she gripped the arms of her throne so tightly that her knuckles were white. Good. “While it pains me deeply to think of leaving all of you, I ask for you to allow me to step away in order to die. Adonis, the mortal I love, is trapped in eternal torture in the Underworld, and the only way I can help him is to give him an afterlife he wants more.”
“You are certain this will work?” said Athena.
I shook my head. “I’m afraid it’s impossible to say for sure, but I believe it’s probable enough to take that chance.”
“And what if it doesn’t work out?” said Artemis, leaning back in her throne and giving me a look I knew all too well. It was the same look she’d given Aphrodite every time she went on and on about one of her new friends.
I hesitated. What if it didn’t? What if I were doing this for nothing? There would be no going back. Once I was mortal and dead, I would be another one of Hades’s subjects, nothing more. I would be powerless and alone, trapped in the Underworld for eternity—
And how was that any different from my life now?
I squared my shoulders. “I love Adonis. I love him more than my own existence, and I believe he feels the same for me. I understand the consequences if I’m wrong. I understand what I’m giving up regardless, and I’m willing to take that chance.”
“You would leave us?”
Mother’s voice cut through my skin, burrowing into a part of me no one else could touch. Not Adonis, not Hades, no one. I looked at her, and the agony I saw in place of Mother—
A lump formed in my throat. I hadn’t thought it possible for this to hurt anyone more than Hades, but it had never occurred to me that Mother might still care. She’d walked away from me. She’d never listened when I’d told her how miserable I was, and again and again and again she’d insisted things would get better. They never had though, not the way she wanted them to, and because of that, I was sure I’d lost her.
Maybe I hadn’t lost her before, but as I watched her shatter into infinite pieces, I knew I had now.
“If the council grants me my request, I would like nothing more than to see all of you as often as you’d be willing to visit me,” I said unsteadily. “I would still be eternal, just in another form, and it wouldn’t have to be goodbye unless you wanted it to be.”
Mother said nothing to that, and beside Zeus, Hera cleared her throat. “Do you love him more than Hades?” she said in her girlish voice.
I frowned. Did Hera not understand what had happened between me and Hades? Or was she just searching for affirmation? “Hades is my friend. He will always be my friend, but we never fit. We’ve tried for thousands of miserable years. I can’t love him the way he wants me to, and the way I’m forced to linger just out of his reach is torture for him. I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have, and the only way I trust myself to do that is to step down and leave him completely.”