“Last night was good. I think we’re going to ace the assignment.” He smiled at me again, his dimples making his face look more boyishly handsome.
“I hope so.” I nodded.
“About last last...” He started and paused. “I just wanted to say sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I nodded awkwardly; as I thought about the light kiss he’d given me on the lips as I’d been sitting on the couch waiting for the pizza to arrive.
“I thought that...” His voice trailed off and we both stood there awkwardly.
“It’s okay. No harm, no foul.”
“I really like you Clementine.” He looked into my eyes searchingly. “I know that maybe I shouldn’t be saying this.”
“You don’t even know me.” I shook my head, my voice and eyes pleading with him to stop.
“What I know I like.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“He’s a meathead.” He made a face. “No offense, of course, but I don’t know, I don’t think he’s right for you.”
“You don’t even know him.” I sighed. “Please, don’t say anything else. Rhett is my best friend, he’s my—”
“You do realize that you just said he’s your best friend? You didn’t say that he’s your boyfriend. You didn’t say he was the love of your life.”
“Holden.” I was getting annoyed. “It doesn’t matter what I say, please stop.”
“Even though he lied to you?” He sounded confused. “In my book, it’s not a very trustworthy boyfriend that tells his girlfriend that he’s bowling when he’s busy getting a hand job at a strip-club.”
“That’s not fair.” I sighed, wishing I hadn’t told him about Rhett’s lie. “And he didn’t get a hand job.”
“Okay then, a blowjob.” His face reddened. “I’m sorry to use such crude language with you, but what do you think goes down at strip-clubs?”
“I’m not going to talk about this with you.” My face grew warm with humiliation as I thought about Rhett getting a hand job in the strip club. He wouldn’t do that, would he? I bit on my lower lip as I tried to remember the stories he’d told me from before we started dating. What had he done before? I knew that he and Tomas used to like to touch the girls’ breasts and bet if they were real or not and I knew that he’d once had an accident in his pants when he’d worn only sweatpants and nothing else. I felt sick even thinking about that story, but I knew I couldn’t bring it up. It was a story he’d told me when he was 18 and it had only been his second trip. I couldn’t allow myself to get jealous over something that had happened in his past.
“So do you want to talk about the assignment now, seeing as we’re both still here?” He asked eagerly and I knew that Holden was not going to get the hint.
“I have to take the coffee’s and croissants back for Rhett and his friend Tomas.” I shook my head. “They are waiting on me. And I don’t have my books. We’ll talk on the phone later.”
“I can come back with you if you want.” He asked eagerly. “Maybe we can—”
“Holden, no.” I shook my head. “I’ll call you later.” I sighed.
“Am I coming on too strong?” He made a face.
“It’s not that, but you know I have a boyfriend.”
“I can wait.”
“Wait for what?” I asked stupidly, and immediately regretted it.
“For when you break up.” He smiled weakly and my eyes bore into his with what I hoped to be a look of disdain. “Sorry.” He followed up quickly. “That was wrong of me.”
“Yeah it was.” I sighed. Maybe Rhett had been right. Maybe Holden was after more than friendship. And then I started laughing at myself. I could see from Holden’s face that he was confused, but I didn’t care. There was no maybe about it. Holden was definitely interested in me. And if I was honest, it made me feel kind of good. Though it also made me feel guilty. Was I emotionally cheating on Rhett if I liked the fact that a very handsome and smart guy was interested in me?
“Are you okay, Clementine?” Holden’s eyes searched mine. “I’m sorry for being inappropriate. I should have just apologized and left it at that.”
“Yes, you should have.” I touched his shoulder. “Look Holden, I’m not interested like that, but if you want to stay friends that’s fine. Please don’t try and kiss me again.”
“I can’t promise I’m not going to hope for more.” He grinned. “That’s okay, right?”
“Holden!”
“What?” He laughed. “Stranger things have happened. Do you know how many people meet when someone is dating someone else? A lot, that’s how many. I know you don’t want to think about that now, but it’s just life. This could be how our story starts.”
“Holden!” I exclaimed again. “Please don’t.”
“It’s true.” He grinned. “There are movies based on love stories like this. We’ll look back and laugh at this.”
“You’re making me uncomfortable.” I told him honestly and turned to see if my coffees were ready.
“You’re not in South Carolina anymore, Clementine. There’s a whole big world out there. A world that exists outside of your friendship with Rhett. From what I’ve seen—”
“Stop.” I held my hand up. “You don’t know me and you don’t know Rhett. Just stop.”
“Just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right.” He said softly. “You can’t stay in a cocoon, just because he’s the only one you’ve ever known.”
“You don’t know my life, Holden.” I said angrily as I grabbed my coffees.
“I know more than you think.” He grabbed his coffee and walked outside the store with me. “I dated my high school girlfriend for years. And then we both went to college and we realized that what we had was nothing compared to what we could have.”
‘That’s sad. Everything isn’t bigger and better.”
“You’re better.” We stopped outside my building. “I know that and we’ve never even been on a date.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I pulled out my keys.