“Brent doesn’t know a thing,” she said.
Gabe recovered something he’d stuffed under his head as a pillow. When he shook it out, Hannah saw that it was the Hawaii T-shirt she’d brought home with her. “He showed me this,” he said, his grin turning slightly devilish. “And he told me you sleep with it at night.”
Embarrassment prickled the back of Hannah’s neck. “There’s no privacy in this town,” she grumbled.
He chuckled. “It’s okay. I already knew things weren’t casual between us.”
“How?” she challenged, folding her arms.
“Are you kidding?” he said. “I can feel it.”
HANNAH DIDN’T WANT to waste the next few hours with sleep. She knew this might be the last time she’d ever have Gabe’s arms around her. Once he left for New York, he could easily get caught up in the success, the money, the fame. There was a lot out there waiting for him. His withdrawal from the public’s view for the past three years would only make his reappearance that much more sensational. In the midst of all the attention, it would be easy to forget the woman back home.
But tomorrow would have to take care of itself. She’d deal with the future when it was no longer the future. Tonight she had her cheek pressed to his chest, where she could hear the steady beat of his heart. She felt safely cocooned in the warmth of his body.
They already know you love me. She hadn’t argued too loudly when he’d said that. There wasn’t any point. He was right. She was so far gone that she melted every time she looked at him. How could she hide an emotion so all-consuming?
Maybe she would’ve been able to salvage some of her pride if she could’ve concealed her feelings a little better. But she didn’t care too much about pride. Let Patti and anyone else who wanted to say “I told you so,” do it. After struggling for so long to fall in love with Russ, Hannah was just glad to know she was capable of loving a man as completely and passionately as she did Gabe. Every woman should experience that once in her lifetime, she decided. Even one who lived in a small town, had a lousy ex and not a lot of hope for a future relationship.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Gabe muttered, pressing his lips to her temple.
“I’m thinking.”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
“Are you upset about me going to New York?” he asked.
“No, I’m happy for you.”
“Really?” he said, the scratchy quality of his voice indicating he was falling back asleep.
“Really,” she repeated. Then she squeezed her eyes closed and prayed with all her heart that her rare bird would indeed take off and soar once again.
“I HEARD GABE’S IN New York,” Patti said when she called Hannah the following Wednesday.
Hannah put down the picture she’d been framing and sank into the chair behind her desk. “You heard right.”
“Kenny told Russ he’s on NFL Countdown.”
Hannah and Kenny had watched Gabe on television last Sunday and knew ESPN had to be thrilled with him. He was a perfect commentator: intelligent, articulate, even funny.
“When has Kenny talked to Russ?” Hannah asked. “We couldn’t even reach him last Friday after we went to the doctor’s.”
“He was upset. But he brought Kenny a sandwich for lunch on Monday, and apologized for his behavior.”
“Good for him,” Hannah said. Kenny hadn’t mentioned it. Kenny had been too preoccupied with Tiffany. If he wasn’t calling her, she was calling him. They talked on the phone for hours.
“Russ isn’t nearly as bad a guy as you like to believe,” Patti said.
Hannah swiveled in her chair to check her reflection in the chrome lamp. She wanted to see if the bruise on her cheek was completely gone. The lamp didn’t make the best mirror, but she couldn’t see anything. “And he’s not nearly as good as you like to believe,” she replied.
There was a momentary silence. Patti still wasn’t accustomed to Hannah’s new directness. “So you’re going to try and hang on to Gabe?”
“No.” Hannah scratched Lazarus, who’d gotten up from where he’d been dozing in the corner and ambled over. “Gabe’s gone, and I don’t expect him to come back, at least for any length of time.”
“Does he call you?”
“Occasionally.” He’d called her twice, but they hadn’t talked long. She’d assured him that Lazarus was okay, that Kenny liked Coach Smith, that Blaine had resigned the moment he heard that several of the boys had come forward. She told him she was happy and busy, that Russ hadn’t been causing her any problems. In fact, she and her ex were back on polite terms. The only thing she didn’t say was that she felt hollow inside without Gabe, and that she’d recorded his show and watched it again and again late at night after the boys were asleep.
“And you’re still in love with him?” Patti said.
“It’s not something I can turn on and off, Patti.”
Her ex-sister-in-law sighed. “Well, I hope you’ll continue to be willing to attend family events and stuff, for the boys’ sake. I don’t think it’ll help them to have you refuse to go to this or that function just because Russ will be there.”
“I’ve never done that before. I don’t plan on starting now,” Hannah said.
“Well, Jamie’s doing it to Donny. It makes it really hard to plan anything, you know?”
“What are you planning?”
“Dad’s birthday is coming up.”
Hannah glanced at her calendar. She hadn’t written it down. For the first time in twenty years, she would have forgotten Pug’s birthday. “When’s the party?”
“Sunday. Can you come?”
“Sure. Where is it?”
“My place. One o’clock.”
“What would you like me to bring?”
“Dad loves that bowtie pasta you used to always make.”
“I’ll bring it,” Hannah said. “Anything else?”
“That should be enough. We’ll have a big barbecue and watch the 49er game. They’re playing the Raiders.”
Almost everyone in Russ’s family was a 49er fan. “Your dad will like that.”
“I think so.”
“See you soon.”
Hannah continued to pet Lazarus after she hung up. Generally the dog spent his time with Brent, but Brent was at school.