He was scared, she realized. Scared that everything he’d been was somehow gone. He had to recreate himself.
She could relate to that. She’d embraced moving to Sacramento, had been eager to have a year to herself to see what she could do to expand her professional aspirations. But then her life had taken the Kyle-Noelle detour and she’d been floundering ever since.
“Would it be so terrible to retire?” Finished navigating the stairs, she guided him into the hall. “Surely you can’t expect to ski such dangerous runs forever.”
“No, not forever. Just another two or three years. I’m not ready to give it up. When I go out, it’ll be on my terms.”
The conviction in his voice told her that even if his efforts didn’t pay off, he’d put up one hell of a fight. “Then I believe you’ll make a comeback. If not this season, the next.”
He didn’t respond. She feared he knew her encouragement was simply that—encouragement.
“For now you need to get some sleep,” she said. “Or you won’t convince anyone that leg has healed.”
They’d reached his room. She hesitated at the entrance, expecting him to continue on himself but, keeping one arm around her shoulders, he touched her face with the opposite hand.
When she looked up at him, he held her chin so that she couldn’t look away as he murmured, “Come to bed with me.”
*
Brandon knew Olivia had every reason in the world to say no. She’d just been through a terrible breakup. She probably wasn’t over Kyle. The last thing she needed was to make love with a man who’d soon be leaving, most likely for months. At the moment, he had no clue where his life was going, whether he’d ever ski again, what he’d do if his comeback turned out to be a bust.
But he couldn’t help trying to capture and hold on to the special quality that made her so difficult to forget.
“Brandon—”
At the distress in her voice, he released her. He wouldn’t pressure her, didn’t want her to regret giving in once it was all over. “Never mind, honey. I know it’s been a hell of a year for you.” Figuring she’d hurry to her own room, he limped to the bed and dropped onto the mattress. His damn leg was aching again. Some days were worse than others. Tonight, the pain had gotten so bad he thought it might drive him insane.
But then she was there with her clothes off, and the pain disappeared beneath a flood of euphoria.
*
Olivia supposed she’d known this was coming. Brandon had always been different from the other boys and, as an adult, he was different from the other men she knew, too. So even though a lot had changed in recent months, nothing had really changed. Meeting him again had shown her that as much as she’d cared about Kyle, she’d already accepted that their romantic relationship was over. She’d gotten farther beyond the heartbreak of it than she’d dreamed.
“That’s it, honey,” Brandon whispered as she slid her hands up under his T-shirt to run her fingers over the ridge of his pectoral muscles, his ni**les, the sprinkling of soft hair that covered his chest. She liked that he was encouraging her to cast her inhibitions aside, to touch and taste him as eagerly as he was touching and tasting her. They hadn’t even bothered to turn off the lights. Being able to see his expressions and reactions added a whole other dimension.
When her bare skin first came into contact with his, he sucked air between his teeth and held her still as if he needed a moment to recover. “You’ve got me so excited I can hardly breathe,” he whispered hoarsely.
She loved the power that knowledge gave her. He probably realized she would or he wouldn’t have made the admission. He was generous that way, and she appreciated it. “There’s just one problem…”
He gazed up at her. “What is it?”
“I don’t want to hurt your leg.”
Even the guttural sound of his laugh made her happy. “I don’t want you to worry about that,” he said. “All I can feel is how badly I want you. Kiss me.”
When her mouth met his, Olivia groaned. It felt as if she’d been waiting for this day since the last time he’d kissed her, in high school. Closing her eyes, she parted her lips and welcomed his tongue in her mouth, enjoying the fact that she was in control and he didn’t seem to mind.
“You kiss even better than you feel,” he told her.
“Good. Because I want to kiss you again.”
He rolled her beneath him as the kiss grew wetter and more heated. Then, anchoring her hands to the mattress above her head, he lowered his head.
Olivia gasped when his mouth closed over her breast. She was so wound up, so desperate to release the building tension, she wanted to rake her nails down his back. But she could only arch into him because he was still restraining her hands.
“Ah, you like that?” he murmured as his tongue made arousing circles.
She liked him. She almost said so—almost blurted out that these sensations would be meaningless to her if he were anyone else. But she knew that would make him uncomfortable. It’s impossible not to love him, his mother had said. That was true—but it was equally true that he’d never commit.
He spent considerable time on her other breast, the sensitive skin on the inside of her arms and her neck before releasing her wrists. Then she was free to touch him wherever she wanted, and she took full advantage of it—until his mouth returned to hers and his fingers found the part of her that wanted him most.
“Brandon…” Her voice caught on his name.
He was so engrossed it took him a second to respond. “What, sweetheart?”
He sounded dazed. She knew she probably sounded the same. Or maybe she sounded desperate. She was certainly feeling desperate, craved nothing more than the completion he promised.
“Do you have birth control?” she asked. “Because I…I have nothing.”
“I bought some condoms this morning.” His mouth was at her breast again but his fingers…they were torturing her even more sweetly.
“This morning?” she repeated.
He lifted his head long enough to grin at her. “I was thinking positive.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Oh, you were.”
“Couldn’t help hoping.”
Catching handfuls of his hair, she laughed as he settled himself between her legs.
“Do it now,” she whispered.
He kissed her tenderly. “I’ve waited a long time for this.”