Gail felt as if she’d just climbed aboard a runaway train. The crash was coming. But she wasn’t tempted to jump off. Not yet. Everything had changed. It didn’t matter that they were only temporarily married. It didn’t matter that sex was against the rules she’d established. It didn’t matter that it was full daylight and, after spending the night in Simon’s sleeping bag, she didn’t look her best. She was keeping him safe. That was all she cared about.
Fortunately, he was too preoccupied with touching and tasting her to notice that her hair was messy. And she was too busy enjoying the pleasure he gave her to be self-conscious.
When Simon lifted her in his arms, she warned him not to pull out his stitches, but he didn’t seem concerned. He carried her to the mattress, yanked her pajama bottoms off and buried his face in her br**sts while touching her in other, more sensitive areas.
“I wish I had better use of my right hand,” he muttered, but he was doing just fine with his left.
Recalling all the fantasies she’d had over the years that centered on Simon O’Neal, Gail could hardly believe this was real. Especially because Simon in the flesh was so much sexier than the Simon in her dreams. He was far more aggressive than either of her former lovers—more demanding, too—but he was also careful not to take it too far. She could sense whenever he’d draw back, when he’d check her expression and responsiveness to make sure she was enjoying how he touched her.
They were both walking on the far edge of control and there wasn’t a more exhilarating feeling. Gail had never let herself go to this point. She couldn’t pull back, didn’t even want to.
“I was wrong about you,” he told her, his voice husky as he spread her legs.
She could barely speak. She was trembling as she clung to his arm, already close to climax. “In what…way?”
“In every way.” His mouth descended on hers, mimicking what he was doing with his fingers until she stopped him.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered. “I can’t wait. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for the man I could desire this much.”
His gaze locked on to hers. She wasn’t sure if he was still angry, but there was a feral look in his eyes. He got up to get a condom from his wallet and put it on. But then he pinned her arms above her head and covered her with his hard, warm body.
Gail allowed her eyes to close at the solid weight of him, the delicious pressure as he pushed inside. She was lost. She hadn’t protected herself against anything. She’d fallen head over heels for a man who was emotionally damaged and she’d done it in record time. Probably because, despite what she’d tried to tell herself, she’d been halfway in love with Simon from the beginning. Matt had been a schoolgirl crush by comparison, someone she’d only thought she wanted.
A trickle of fear ran through her as that truth crystallized. Because an even harder truth came right behind it. Simon was going to break her heart, and that wouldn’t take very long, either. But as the friction increased and the tension mounted, future pain wasn’t a concern. She’d never made love like this before because she’d never felt like this before. Despite all the reasons she shouldn’t be, she was desperately in love, and her body knew Simon’s touch, could distinguish it from anyone else’s.
As she reached that first peak, with Simon’s smell and body in and around her, she felt as if her bones would melt and somehow meld with his. She looked up to see him watching her. He was soaking up every nuance of her expression, reveling in every gasp, and the smile of accomplishment that curved his lips in that moment was probably the best part of all.
* * *
Simon was shaking with the effort of holding back, but he was determined to bring Gail to climax several times before allowing himself the same pleasure. He liked feeling her shudder when she reached that crest, liked hearing her moan his name. But he knew he was being unselfish partly to escape the guilt. He no longer had a heart to offer, so he had to deliver where he could.
He happened to be good at this. Today he was too worked up to have the stamina he wanted, but he was doing what he could to last.
“Again,” he whispered, and closed his eyes. He needed to think of something other than the warm wetness, the clenching of her body, or it would all be over. But she didn’t seem happy that he had to mentally check out in order to make that happen.
Encouraging him to roll onto his back, she got on top and that was the beginning of the end. When she took control, he could believe she was making love to him because she wanted the pleasure as badly as he did and would have no regrets—and that was all it took to render him helpless.
As soon as his hands found her br**sts, wave after glorious wave ripped through him. Closing his eyes again, he succumbed to the release until he felt completely drained. Then he looked up at her, still breathing hard. He had no idea what to expect next. He was terrified she’d start to cry, feel angry that they’d broken her “rules,” cling to him as if this was the beginning of forever, or—worse than anything—make him squirm by telling him she loved him.
Fortunately, she did none of those things. With a devilish smile, she bent her head for a quick peck that ended with a playful bite on his bottom lip.
“Not bad,” she said. “Not bad at all.”
He raised an uncertain eyebrow. “You’ve had better than that?” He certainly hadn’t. Not in recent memory. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been drunk, for a change, but he already knew he’d never forget this.
“A couple times.” Her manner suggested she might be teasing, but he couldn’t be sure. “Anyway, I think you’re talented enough to make the two years we’re married go a lot faster.”
He still wasn’t convinced she felt as cavalier as she was acting, but he was willing to play along. “You thought I might not be?”
“I thought you needed a break from your stud services, but…I’m glad I decided not to worry about that,” she said. Then she got up and headed into the bathroom as if what had happened was nothing more than a casual encounter.
Thank God. Covering his face with one arm, Simon breathed a sigh of relief.
* * *
Pressing herself against the bathroom door, Gail covered her face. She was shaking and couldn’t seem to calm down. But she wouldn’t let Simon know how deeply their lovemaking had affected her. He wasn’t capable of dealing with anything that complicated right now, even if he cared about her. And she knew he didn’t. Not in the same way she cared about him.