Then she glanced up and saw the stubborn set to his jaw and realized he was trying to retain control of the situation. “What?” she said.
“This is hard to believe,” he explained, but he closed his eyes and dropped his head against the wall when she found his nipple.
“Why?” she murmured against the wet spot she’d made. She was too absorbed to manage a conversation. She didn’t want to think, anyway. She just wanted to get rid of the rest of his clothes, to feel more of his supple skin.
“You never let anyone touch you.”
“So?”
“Why me?”
“I don’t know.”
Apparently, that wasn’t an acceptable answer. He grasped her shoulders to stop her long enough to pay attention to what he was saying. “Tell me this isn’t a game, that you’re not playing me. Tell me you’re not going to dangle yourself in front of me and then, at the very last second, shut me down.”
Before, he’d acted as if he’d have no problem accepting a refusal at any point, if that was what she chose. But his ambivalence was long gone. The spark created by that first kiss had changed everything.
Struggling with the power of her emotions, she bit her lip as she considered his words. “Have you slept with my sister?” It was the one thing that made her uncomfortable, the one thing that threatened to ruin her enjoyment. She couldn’t let what she’d started go to its natural conclusion until she knew.
“I told you I haven’t.” His voice was harsh with need, adamant. “Ask her.”
Cheyenne didn’t want to admit that she’d tried. It didn’t matter. He was convincing.
“It’s actually been a while since I’ve been with anyone,” he added.
“Why?” The way she heard it, he had a new girl every weekend.
“Hit-and-runs get old after a while.”
“You seem interested enough now.”
“This is different.”
She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he couldn’t resist relieving her of her innocence. “But you’ve got a condom, right?”
“I’ve got a few.”
“Then tell me how much you want me,” she said. “Tell me I’m the one who makes you hard.”
He didn’t sound as if he had to pretend. “It’s true. I’ve wanted you for years. Virgin or no. Makes no difference to me.”
Was she really going through with this? She’d spoken to him for almost the first time earlier today. Now he stood shirtless in her living room, his hair mussed from her hands, his eyes feral and hungry. And instead of being frightened, repulsed, too uninterested or too shy to continue, all of which she’d experienced with other men, she found him absolutely irresistible.
Maybe she was no different from her mother and sister. She craved physical intimacy with a man she had no emotional commitment to. But she’d been holding back the demands of her body for so long, she didn’t seem capable of doing it any longer. Already she was pressing into him, couldn’t seem to stop grinding her hips against his erection. It helped that she didn’t have to be anyone other than who she was. With this man, she could be completely naked, literally and figuratively, and yet feel safe. He was even aware of her feelings for Joe.
But he still seemed unconvinced that he could trust her, as if he just knew it couldn’t be this easy. “Are you sure you want me?” he asked. “You won’t change your mind? Or regret it later?”
She couldn’t promise she wouldn’t regret her actions. She had no idea how she’d feel in the morning. But she wasn’t going to change her mind. It made no sense that Dylan would be her first—but why not? Eve didn’t have dibs on him. Neither did Presley. As far as Cheyenne knew, no one did.
“Sometimes you have to take a chance,” she said, and led him to her bedroom.
11
It didn’t hurt. Cheyenne had been warned that penetration would be painful the first time. But maybe that was for younger women. Or she’d simply been too drunk on hormones to feel the pain. It didn’t matter. What mattered was the pleasure she’d been able to experience, the fact that she could enjoy sex like other women.
“That was incredible,” she said as they slumped, exhausted, against the pillows.
“It took a while, but we got there.”
She mustered a tired smile. “Because you wouldn’t give up.”
“I was the only one who knew what was waiting for you.”
“I don’t think that’s supposed to happen during a girl’s first time.”
“I couldn’t see any reason for you to miss out. It just takes figuring out what you like and doing it long enough.”
She used her arm to wipe the perspiration from her forehead. “You certainly figured it out.”
“Not immediately. But…like I said, we managed it in the end.” His teeth flashed when he raised his head to grin at her. “And it was worth the effort, right?”
“It was definitely worth the effort,” she agreed with a laugh.
“I’m glad you cooperated. You’re far more responsive than I expected. I thought you might be too self-conscious to climax.” He rolled over to face her but didn’t touch her. “I’m glad I was wrong.”
With other guys, she’d been too self-conscious to even get naked. But not with him. She wasn’t sure what made the difference. “It was time to get the deed done.”
“Good thing you got that over with.”
She laughed at his sarcasm.
“So…what?” he asked. “Did I just hit you up at a weak moment or…”
He wondered why she’d chosen him after waiting so long, but she couldn’t explain. She hadn’t figured out the reason herself. “Who knows?” She pulled up the sheet and rolled onto her side, to face him as he was facing her. “Maybe I was tired of being a freak.”
He lifted a sweaty tendril of hair off her cheek.
“What?” she said when she noticed the way he was looking at her.
“Being a virgin doesn’t make you a freak.”
“At thirty-one?”
“Okay, maybe a little bit of a freak,” he teased.
She rose up on her elbow. “How many women have you slept with?” she asked but then fell back and raised her hand before he could speak. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”
When he didn’t comment, she opened one eye so she could see his expression.