“Why not?”
“Because there’s nothing I can do. I wish I could change my sexual orientation, but I can’t.”
“When did you figure out you were g*y?”
“In the fifth grade, when I realized that girls didn’t mean the same thing to me as they did to Noah.”
“You’ve known that long?”
“I certainly wondered. But we’re talking about you. I think you should tell Gail right away. Maybe she can help.”
“How?”
“She’s married to one of the biggest movie stars on the planet. Simon has contacts and money the rest of us don’t.”
She scowled at him. “I told you. The donor lists don’t work that way. Besides, his money isn’t mine!”
“For Gail’s sake, he’ll do whatever he can. What good is having money if it can’t make a difference when it’s most important? We’ll all pitch in, although he hardly needs to ask for donations.”
“You think she might be able to get me moved to the top of the transplant list by bribing someone?”
“I’ll bet she can get you a liver by tomorrow.”
“I would hope the people who manage this type of thing aren’t that corrupt.”
“You can hope, just don’t bet on it. Money talks.”
“But that would just nudge everyone else down the list.”
“So?”
“So?” she echoed. “Who are we to say I have any more right to survive than the other people waiting for a transplant?”
She could tell he didn’t want to look at it that way. “There’re no guarantees for anyone as it is,” he said.
“I couldn’t live knowing I took someone else’s chance of surviving. That just feels too creepy to me, like we’re playing God.”
The swing tilted to her side when he got up and began to pace. “You have to fight for your life, Callie! That means throwing everything you have at this. You just happen to be best friends with Simon O’Neal’s wife. Take whatever help they can give you!”
She wanted to live so desperately that, for a moment, she considered letting him convince her. She wasn’t sure Simon would be able to do anything; his contacts weren’t in the medical field. But he was treated like a god by just about everyone. His level of fame made such a difference. And on top of that, in a world where money mattered so much, paying the right people probably could improve her chances of receiving a liver before it was too late.
But what about those who were waiting and hoping, who might not know a celebrity of his stature? What if one of them was a single mother? A father with a family to support? A child?
She shook her head. “I couldn’t. Living is important, but—”
“What could be more important than that?” he interrupted, clearly exasperated that she would argue when he was so certain he’d come up with the perfect solution.
It was a tough choice. She’d give just about anything to reclaim the promise of a future, to know she could avoid the terrible fate that loomed ahead.
Anything except her integrity. “Living right.”
That seemed to take the fight out of him. Tears filled his eyes and he glanced away. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice strangled.
This was what she’d have to face if she told the others. Maybe Gail would even act on her own. “There’s always a chance I’ll pull through.” Gathering her purse, she got out of the swing. “I have to go, Bax.”
He blinked away his tears. “So when will you let everyone else in on our little secret?”
He didn’t like bearing the burden of it alone. But if she divulged the truth, word would get back to Levi. Since he’d made arrangements to help Joe at the station, he’d be coming into town whenever Joe called him. The repair shop wasn’t open on Sundays, but it would be tomorrow and the next day and the day after. That meant she’d no longer have control over what he heard and what he didn’t. So why take the risk? Why tell anybody? There was no need for Levi to be burdened with the knowledge of something she could easily tell her friends after he left.
She was going to enjoy what little time she had with him.
“When Levi’s gone,” she said.
Baxter gripped the railing. “Seriously? You’re putting it off again? But we talked about this!”
“I’ve waited four months. What’s another few weeks?”
Another few weeks could be everything, could be The End. And yet it still meant more to her to spend the coming days with this new person in her life.
“He’s that important to you?”
“For some reason, he is.”
Baxter cursed but eventually sighed. “Fine.”
“You’ll respect my wishes?”
“Of course, but...”
“There’s a ‘but’?”
“At least sleep with him!” he said, and waved her off.
18
The Gruper rental, as Levi had heard Callie refer to it, wasn’t one of the nicer homes in Whiskey Creek. Not only did it lack the sturdy construction of the farmhouse, it possessed none of the nineteenth-century charm of the Victorians closer to town. Such a cheap, unimaginative structure didn’t even seem to belong in the area. The gray stucco walls had cracks, indicating it had been cheaply built to begin with. And, judging by what Levi saw, no one had bothered to take care of it since. Dog piles—or bleached grass where dog piles had disintegrated with time—dotted the dry, brittle lawn. The paint was peeling under the eaves. The screen door hung at an awkward angle.
The only remotely interesting thing about this house was two holes, chest-high, in the screen door. Levi thought they looked as if someone had fired a couple of bullets through it....
That made him leery. But not leery enough to get back on his motorcycle and drive away. He’d tried to talk himself out of coming here. But, for better or worse, he wasn’t going to let others threaten his life or the life of someone he cared about. In his opinion, a man should have the right to defend himself against pricks like Denny and his friend.
The truck Denny had driven to the farm sat in the driveway. Levi eyed it while listening for sounds that might suggest Denny had reclaimed Spike. When he didn’t hear barking, he felt confident that Denny hadn’t yet raised the money for the fine. At least he wouldn’t have to fight off another pit bull.
He lifted his hand to knock, and the door swung open almost as soon as his knuckles could strike wood. Sure enough, no dog came charging out.