“Why not?”
“Because with you, I couldn’t smile and wave when you drove away.”
“We’ve only known each other a week,” he said, but there was more incredulity in those words than anything else.
Her chest filled with a bittersweet ache as she looked at the man she knew she’d dream about for years. “But I’m already in love with you.”
PRESTON SAT in the Jacuzzi, hoping Emma would be asleep when he returned to the room. He’d managed to find a brand-new motel in Cedar Rapids that had two bedrooms and a small kitchen area, and was available for rent by the week—or would be soon. The motel wasn’t officially open for business until next week. They’d happened to catch the owner just as they pulled in, and Preston had talked him into letting them stay. He didn’t care about the furniture that still needed to be moved into the lobby, or the doors and trim the owner planned to paint. His only concern was that Emma and Max would have a good roof over their heads, even if they didn’t rent a house right away.
He felt confident that he’d found the ideal situation for them. But getting through this last night wasn’t going to be easy. Now that they had two bedrooms, he and Emma could have some real privacy—and a bed—if they wanted it. And Preston couldn’t go in there without wanting it.
I’m already in love with you.
He rubbed his temples. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Emma’s declaration. Surprised, excited, torn, even scared. He’d distanced himself from others too long for “I’m in love with you” not to make him nervous. He cared about her, knew she was right when she said he could care a lot more if only he’d let himself. But he couldn’t. He was only days away from the moment that would define the rest of his life.
For the first time in a long while, Preston felt like having a cigarette.
Getting out of the water, he searched the pockets of the jeans he’d thrown on a nearby chair and came up with the keys to his van. He’d forget Emma and Max once he spent some time away from them, he promised himself. He’d ignore, forget, deny. He’d gotten damn good at shutting people out, hadn’t he?
But when he returned with his cigarettes, he found Emma sitting in the Jacuzzi—and wasn’t capable of ignoring her.
She said nothing as he passed through the gate. Because the Jacuzzi suddenly seemed very small, he took a chair near a white plastic table. “I guess you didn’t see the sign,” he said, striking a match.
“What sign?”
He shook out the match and tossed it in a clean ashtray on the table. “Pool area’s closed for the night.” He wanted Emma to go back inside. He’d come here to avoid her.
She shrugged. “There’s no one around to kick me out.”
He inhaled, released his breath. “There’s me.”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
Did it matter if he was afraid of her? Of the pain he’d feel when he walked away in the morning?
He tried to concentrate on his cigarette. “Max is in the room?”
“He’s out for the night.”
“Are you sure it’s safe to leave him?”
“What do you care?” she challenged.
He flicked his ashes off to the side. “I can see you’re still in a good mood.”
She sighed. “Our room’s less than ten feet away. I wouldn’t be much closer if I was watching TV.”
Squinting through the smoke rising from his cigarette, he saw a bead of water roll down her neck and between her br**sts….
“You’re staring,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows. “You want me to stare. That’s why you came out here, isn’t it? To show me what I’m missing?”
She reached for the tie to her swimsuit top. “If I was going to show you what you’re missing, I probably wouldn’t be wearing this.” Pulling the string, she unfastened it.
Preston’s mouth went dry as he watched her top fall to reveal the br**sts he’d fondled last night. He wished he could act as though the sight didn’t knock the breath right out of him, but it wasn’t any use pretending. “Turning up the heat a little?” he said.
“Is it working?”
He didn’t answer. She had to know it was.
She slid lower in the water, but not low enough that he couldn’t see what he so badly wanted to touch. “Actually, I came out to say goodbye. Just in case you weren’t planning on being here in the morning.”
The water bubbled around her, coaxing him to join her. To free himself from the past. To move on….
But Dallas wouldn’t let him.
He leaned over, elbows on his knees, and finished his cigarette.
“That would hurt Max, you know,” she said, her tone softening. “He’s crazy about you.”
Preston closed his eyes and ran two fingers over his eyebrows. Preston, watch me spell bear…. Hey, I can take my shot in my leg now! Doesn’t hurt at all, see?…I drew you another picture…. Feel my muscles….
“You’d never do that to him, would you?” she said. “You’d never leave without saying goodbye.”
He didn’t open his eyes. “Make sure he keeps up with his baseball. He’s got real talent.”
It wasn’t the promise she wanted, but Preston wasn’t sure he could say goodbye to Max.
She immediately got out, grabbed her swimsuit top and headed past him, toward the gate. Preston could tell she was upset and told himself to let her go. But his hand shot out at the last second and caught her wrist. “Emma…”
She stopped, but resisted when he tried to pull her closer.
“Please?”
She struggled with herself for several seconds—he could see the conflict in her face. But, at long last, she moved between his knees, and he pressed his mouth against the heated skin of her stomach. He knew she wanted him to lower his defenses, tell her about the battles he was fighting, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t hear her say all the things Christy and his mother had already said. Didn’t want her to doubt him—because he couldn’t change his course, even for her.
“Preston?” she said uncertainly.
He tried to open up, to trust her. But he could manage only four words: “I need you tonight.”
EMMA KNEW she should gently extricate herself and walk away. He hadn’t said he’d stay. He hadn’t told her what was going on in his life. He hadn’t said much of anything. But the four words he had said sounded as if they’d been wrenched from him.