"I wish you were right," Raxtus replied. "It's no delusion. Celebrant has basically disowned me. I have two brothers. Half brothers. They came from a different clutch, obviously. Each of them rules one of the other forbidden sanctuaries. I look way more like Dad than either of them do--going by shape and color, I mean. I'm the miniature version of Celebrant. He has these glossy platinum scales, a lot like mine, but harder than adamant. On him they look awesome. He's built thicker than me, all muscle. He has like five breath weapons, and knows tons of offensive spells, but he's no thug. His mind is keen as a razor. He has it all. Dignity. Majesty."
"He can't hate you just because you're small!" Kendra asserted.
"Small is only part of it. Guess what my breath weapon does? Helps things grow! You know, makes flowers bloom. And the only magic I can do is defensive stuff like hiding, or else healing. Again, like a fairy. It doesn't help that I look so much like my dad. I know it shames him. He hasn't utterly disavowed me, though. Somewhere deep inside, he feels guilty that my siblings were killed, that he wasn't there to stop the cockatrice, and that he didn't know I had survived until years later. For that, I remain under his protection, which means that as much as other dragons shun me, none of them want to fight me. No dragon on Earth is eager to risk the wrath of Celebrant."
"See! He loves you."
"No. Guilt is not love. Dad has made it clear he doesn't want me near him. And he's right. My presence discredits him: the humiliating contrast between the most magnificent dragon in the world and his absurd jester of a son."
Kendra could think of nothing to say. Again she resisted the urge to hug him.
"Anyhow, now you know my sorry background. The full confession. I don't want to be feeble and useless; I'm not proud of it. I love action movies. My fondest dream is to be a hero. To be fierce and brave, to somehow prove myself a real dragon. But when the opportunity arises, I cringe. Like when the griffins took your friends. I could have charged to the rescue. Come on, they were griffins! But there were a lot of them, and I knew who must have sent them. I decided to lie low for a minute, and before I knew it, the opportunity had passed me by."
"Who sent the griffins?" Kendra inquired eagerly.
"Thronis, the sky giant up on Stormcrag. He keeps griffins like people keep hounds. The dwarf was Zogo. The giant's dwarf."
"You know where Thronis lives?"
"Sure."
"Here's your chance for heroics!" Kendra said. "We can rescue my brother and the others!"
"You're right, that would be valiant. Too valiant. I'd get us both killed. If I was lucky, maybe I'd invigorate some of his houseplants along the way. I'm barely half a dragon, Kendra. The rest of me is glitter and fairy dust. Even the bravest dragons stay far from Thronis. He is both giant and sorcerer. Powerful spells protect his stronghold atop Stormcrag. True, I yearn to be a hero, but I'm a coward at heart. Want an example? I followed you all morning trying to work up the courage to say hello. I only found the nerve once you started crying."
"But you could go invisible," Kendra suggested. "Sneak up there in the dead of night."
"Spells," Raxtus said. "Thronis would know. He'd slay me before I could help anyone. Look, as a friend, I'm the ideal dragon. As a hero, not so much."
"Can you turn into a human?" Kendra wondered.
"Like an avatar? A human version of myself? Not really. I mean, I've tried. But it doesn't work out well. I can't manage to look like a person."
"What do you look like?"
The dragon glanced away. "Maybe we should change the subject."
"What?"
Raxtus looked back at her. "I look like a boy fairy with butterfly wings."
Kendra did a poor job stifling her surprised laugh.
"Like a foot tall," Raxtus went on. "You can laugh, I know how it sounds--believe me, I know--just don't spread that one around, please. It isn't common knowledge."
"It just caught me off guard," Kendra apologized.
"Caught me off guard too. For years I took consolation that one day I could escape to human form, once I learned the trick, and maybe become part of a community. No luck. I'm a freak in any form. I'm polluted by fairy magic down to the core."
"You're not a freak," Kendra said firmly. "You're the coolest looking dragon I've ever seen. You're like a sports car. The only dragons I've seen or heard of are harsh and mean. It's easy to be mean when you have sharp teeth and claws. It would be much harder to be likable. I've never even pictured a likable dragon until right now."
"You're very kind. You know, we dragons don't get to air out our feelings on talk shows. We don't have therapists. But talking to you has been helpful. Thanks for listening. Hey, you mentioned you've been to Fablehaven."
"Right. I've been there a lot."
"And you can talk to fairies."
"Yes."
"I wonder if you might have met my foster mom. Her name is Shiara."
Kendra brightened. "Silver wings? Blue hair?"
"That's her!"
"She's the best fairy at Fablehaven!" Kendra gushed.
"You don't have to lay it on quite so thick," Raxtus said.
"No, I'm serious. Shiara stands out. She has helped me. Most fairies are flaky, but Shiara is actually reliable and smart."
"She saved me from the cockatrice and nurtured me. It wasn't at Fablehaven. This happened long before Fablehaven was founded. I don't visit her as often as I should. It feels too much like embracing the sissy side of my nature. As if anyone cared! Sometimes, though, I sneak into Fablehaven at night and visit her."
"How do you sneak into Fablehaven?"
"Same way I sneak into Wyrmroost. I may be less than half a dragon, but I have a few tricks. One is traveling from one fairy shrine to another. Anywhere the Fairy Queen has a shrine is open to me."
Kendra felt almost too excited to ask her next question. "Could you take me home?" If she could only get back to Fablehaven, she could return with reinforcements.
"Sorry, Kendra. I don't think I could transport a passenger. Maybe someday, with study and practice. Even if I could, the last time I tried to visit Fablehaven, the way seemed barred."
Kendra frowned. The shrine at Fablehaven had been destroyed, so it made sense that Raxtus would not be able to use it. She should have thought of that before she asked. Still, there were other ways the dragon might be of service. "Could you take me to the Fairy Queen's shrine here at Wyrmroost?"