I waited for Henry to say something, anything to help me understand, but he was silent. Wildly I searched through every excuse I’d made for him since arriving, every possibility that had occurred to me. Anything that would explain the man I loved turning into a stranger.
The thing he’d said to Persephone, the reason why he’d bolted from the throne room that afternoon. “Is it because you think Calliope’s going to kill me the moment you let yourself feel something real for me? Because I’m immortal now, Henry. She can’t kill me anymore.”
“Cronus can.” The words came out so choked that I hardly understood them, but there it was. His excuse. I softened.
“Cronus didn’t.” I slid to the edge of the bed, close enough for him to reach me in two steps, but he stayed put. “He hunted us down, and when he had the chance to kill me, he didn’t.”
Finally Henry looked at me, his eyes glittering with confusion, but I kept going. If I let him change the subject, I would never be able to f inish this.
“You don’t need to spend every waking moment protecting me now. I’m supposed to be your partner, not your burden, and if that’s all I’m ever going to be to you, then I don’t want to be here anymore. I want you to love me.
I want to look forward to coming here every fall. I want winter to be my favorite season because I get to spend it with you. So tell me that’s going to happen, Henry. Tell me things are going to be better, that you’re not going to think of Persephone every time you touch me. Tell me that you’re going to love me as much as you love her, and that I won’t spend the rest of eternity paling in comparison to your memories of my sister.”
Silence.
“Please,” I whispered. “I’m begging you. If you don’t…
if you don’t, I’m going to leave. And I don’t mean for the summer. I’m going to leave the Underworld, and I won’t come back.”
He f linched, and I instantly knew I’d said the wrong words, but I couldn’t take them back now. “Perhaps that is best,” he said. “You will be safer on the surface, and the others can protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting.” I was crying in earnest now, and my throat was thick and my voice strangled, but I kept going. “I need to know I’m not going to be miserable for the rest of my life.”
“I should not be your only source of happiness,” said Henry stiff ly. “If that is so—”
“It isn’t. You’re not. I have my mother and Ava and—”
“James,” he f inished for me, and I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I didn’t want to lie to him. James was my best friend. “Yes, I am aware. I will not give you an excuse to leave. If you wish to do so, then there is the door. I am sure James will be happy to have you all to himself. Now, if you will excuse me, I have preparations to make.” I opened my mouth to tell him where he could shove his assumptions, but his last words caught me off-guard.
“Preparations for what? What’s so important that you have to leave when we’re in the middle of this?”
“My apologies,” he said coolly. “I thought you had already made your decision to abandon me.” I snatched a pillow from behind me and hurled it at him.
Without moving an inch, he def lected it before it was halfway to him. “You’re a jerk,” I snapped. “If this is how you treated Persephone, then you know what? I don’t blame her for leaving you. In fact, she was an idiot for waiting so long.”
Unspeakable agony f lashed across Henry’s face, and I clapped my hand over my mouth the moment I realized what I’d said. “Oh, god, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Yes, you did,” he said. “You meant every word.” I buried my face in my hands and stif led a hiccupping sob. My lungs burned, and all I wanted to do was curl up on the bed and cry, but I couldn’t. Not when Henry was here. Not when he was f inally talking to me. “I hate this,” I whispered. “I hate f ighting with you. I’m not asking for the moon and the stars, I promise. I just want you to love me, to want me, to spend time with me, to talk to me.”
“And you expect to achieve that by behaving like this?” he said. “You believe that saying such things to me will somehow make me forget the eons I have already lived?”
“As opposed to what? Not saying anything at all? I’ve tried giving you time. I’ve tried risking my life to save yours. I’ve tried everything I can think of, but when you won’t even talk to me—”
“Henry.”
I looked up at the sound of Walter’s voice. He stuck his head in the door, and as he focused on Henry, he point-edly ignored me. I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or offended.
“We are about to begin,” he said, and Henry nodded tersely. As soon as the door shut, Henry released a breath as if he’d been holding it for centuries.
“We may continue this later, if you wish, but I must go now. We are planning for the battle.” He hesitated. “Titans are strongest on the solstices, and we expect Cronus will escape completely sometime in late December, so there is not much time.”
I closed my eyes. If I hadn’t been stupid enough to sneak into the cavern, Persephone would have handled things, and none of this would be happening. “Would you mind if I took a day or two before I left? I want to say goodbye to everyone.”
At f irst Henry said nothing, but f inally he nodded. “Take as long as you need.”
He was halfway out the door when I blurted, “Can I visit you sometime?”
In the moment it took him to turn to face me again, I thought I saw a hint of a smile, but it was gone before I could be sure. “Whatever happens between us, Kate, I will always want to be your friend. It—” He paused. “It is more than I have had before.”
More than what Persephone had given him. That brought me a small amount of comfort, though the distance in his voice kept me from smiling. “I’ll come see you sometime.”
“Then I will do what I can to ensure that you will not come back to an empty palace.”
“I— What?” He thought he wasn’t coming back? Or was he going to fade? Die in battle with Cronus? Did it even matter? “Henry, what do you—”
Before I could f inish, thunder rumbled in the room, and Henry blinked out of sight, leaving me alone with fear and questions with no answers. I hurried to the door and threw it open, hoping in vain he’d be there, but I was alone.