Of course. James had explained to me that a ref lection wasn’t an accurate depiction of what had happened. It was whatever the creator wanted. And what Henry wanted was for Persephone to be smiling when she saw him each fall.
“I didn’t mean to sleep with him,” I said, and I paused.
“That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Part of the test was lust, and Henry had me so well-protected that Calliope didn’t have the chance to kill me, so instead she sabotaged the test by giving us an aphrodisiac.”
Persephone clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “You’ve certainly had it rough, haven’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I said warily. Was she being sar-castic?
“Well, I assume you love him,” she said, and I nodded.
“It’s good you’re there for him. He deserves to have someone who loves him.” She hesitated and said reluctantly, as if she were admitting some deep, dark secret, “I worry about him sometimes. It’s terrible that the one time you’ve been with him had to be because of an aphrodisiac.” She glared at Ava. “Aphrodite ruins everything.”
“It wasn’t me,” said Ava, her eyes wide. “I wasn’t even there.”
“It’s named after you.”
I started to retort, but Ava huffed and remained silent.
After a moment, Persephone gestured at her dismissively.
“Regardless, with what you said earlier about Mother only having you because of me, and then all of this—well, I would imagine it isn’t easy. So you have my sympathies.” I didn’t know what to say to that. Maybe after an entire day of bickering with Ava, she was all argued out. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me.”
“Don’t expect me to keep it up,” she said with a snort.
“To answer your question, yes. Once.”
It took me a moment to f igure out what question she was talking about, and when I did, my mouth opened, but no sound came out. So Calliope had been wrong after all.
Even though I’d known Persephone and Henry had been married, it was a punch to the gut to hear that I hadn’t been Henry’s only. The last thing I had that I didn’t have to share with her evaporated. Once again, Persephone had gotten there f irst, and all I had were her leftovers.
“It was awful,” said Persephone. Her hand lingered between us, as if she could sense how upset I was, but she dropped it back in her lap. “It was our wedding night, and we didn’t talk about it. It just—happened. It was expected, and both of us were too shy to ask the other if we wanted it. We both assumed.”
I was silent. I didn’t want to think about how badly things would have gone for Henry and me if there hadn’t been that spark between us. His guilt and anger had been bad enough the morning after.
Ava tactfully moved to the other side of the f ire, taking a seat beside James. They bowed their heads together, and the soft sound of their conversation wafted toward us, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“When we—” I cleared my throat. “I would’ve waited if I’d had the choice. But I didn’t not want to. That was the point I realized I loved him, and—for what it was, it was nice. It was really nice.”
“Good,” said Persephone distantly, staring into the f ire.
“Hades deserves that. He deserves you.”
I shook my head. It didn’t matter what Henry deserved; what mattered was who Henry wanted, and so far that didn’t seem to be me. “It was the morning after that was so terrible. When Henry realized what had happened, he freaked out. Panicked,” I amended at Persephone’s confused look. “He apologized and took off, and that was the last I saw of him for days. The only reason he came back was because Calliope killed me, and he went to the Underworld to get me.”
Persephone grimaced, and she said in a small voice, “No, it isn’t.”
“No, what isn’t?” I said.
“No, that isn’t the only reason he came back.” She sighed.
“When we consummated our marriage, I was the one to—
freak out.” She made a face at the expression. “We hadn’t been married twelve hours, and already I’d run back to Mother. She talked me into staying and giving it a shot, and she must have said something to Hades, because we never tried it again. I slept in a separate room, and he never pressed the issue.”
On the other side of the f ire, James and Ava grew quiet.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You shouldn’t have had to stay with Henry if you didn’t want to.”
So that was why James was insisting I acknowledge my choice to leave if I didn’t want this. He’d already told me it’d been because of Persephone, of course, but hearing it from her made the pieces fall into place. James was protecting me the best he knew how, exactly like he had the year before. When I thought I’d failed a test, I’d tried to leave Eden Manor, wanting to see my mother before she died.
Henry had talked me out of it. James hadn’t known that I’d stayed out of my own free will, and it had been important enough to him to blow his cover.
“I was young,” said Persephone. “I thought love happened immediately. It was my f irst time living without Mother, and I hadn’t known what to expect. On top of that, being in the Underworld and away from the sun made me miserable. It was the perfect storm, and unfortunately Hades and I both got caught up in it.” She shook her head ruefully. “I never gave him a chance after that. He tried so hard—you wouldn’t believe the lengths he went to in order to see me happy. But it was never enough. He was never enough.”
It was dark now. The glow from the carnival and the piti-ful f ire were the only sources of light, and when I looked at Persephone again, it was hard to see her face. “He loved you anyway though,” I said. “He still loves you more than anything.”
“I’m not so sure anymore.” She sat up straighter and looked toward the sky. I followed her gaze, and once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw that the stars weren’t in their usual pattern.
“You said he went down to the Underworld to get you,” said Persephone. “Were you really dead?” I nodded. “It was night, and I was in a park Mom and I used to visit back home. Mom traded her life for mine. Her mortal life,” I corrected. “But the body she was using was dying anyway.”
“It doesn’t matter,” said Persephone. “He wasn’t supposed to do that. While I ruled with him, we only made a few exceptions, and even then there were so many caveats that no one ever really made it back to the surface. He violated everything he’s stood for since the dawn of humanity to save your life.”