“You really love your brothers, don’t you?”
“I’d die for them.” I stared into her eyes earnestly. “I would do anything for them. They are everything to me, and my goal in life is to see them succeed.”
“That’s a pretty important goal.”
“It’s one I’ve dedicated my whole life to,” I said seriously.
“At the cost of your own?”
“I don’t know.” I turned away from her, upset at myself for my answer. I was upset because things had changed now. I knew she would want to be my world if we became serious, but I knew that I could not give her that promise until I knew Vincent and Jared had their lives in order. I was mad at myself for wishing that it could be different, and that I could put myself and Maddie first.
***
“I had a nice day.” Maddie leaned up and kissed me as we stood next to her car door. It was close to ten p.m. and we were finally back at my house and her car.
“So did I.” I combed her hair away from her face. “I had a really nice day.”
“Though I wish we had Bonnie and Clyde’d it for a week or so.” She smiled wistfully. “That would have been awesome.”
“Not so awesome if you didn’t have your birth control,” I joked lightly, not wanting to know how big a part that small fact would have played in our trip.
“Oh, yeah, oops.” She slapped her hand against her mouth. “I totally forgot about that, I’m such a ditz.”
“Good thing I remembered.”
“You’re my hero.” She kissed me again.
“I wouldn’t say that exactly.” I shook my head, feeling uncomfortable at her words. I already felt ashamed of myself for even thinking about going along with Jared’s plan.
“Logan Martelli, you never let me say anything good about you.”
“When there is something good to say, I will let you.”
“I hate that you don’t see how great you are.” Maddie looked sad. “Forget the fact that you’re a car thief, which isn’t really all that bad. You’re a good person.”
“A car thief isn’t as bad as a murderer maybe, but it’s still bad, Maddie. I could go to jail. It’s not like I’m borrowing flowers from the park or something.”
“You don’t have to be a car thief.” She pursed her lips. “I’m not going to say it again after this, but my dad could …”
My blood boiled as she mentioned her father again. It was getting harder and harder for me to listen to her go on about her dad being this great guy, especially when she talked about him helping me. All it did was add salt to the wound. And I sure didn’t want to start thinking about how much I hated her father right now.
“Let’s not talk about it tonight.” I kissed her hard. “Don’t you worry your sweet head about anything.”
“Logan, no man is an island.”
“And no woman can fix a man. I am who I am.”
“Do you want to come over tonight?” She looked at me hopefully. I shook my head. “Can I stay over?” I froze at her words; there was no way I wanted her to come inside of my house. I was embarrassed at how shitty the house looked inside, and I was scared for her to meet my father, and I didn’t really want her around Jared, either. There were just so many things that could go wrong if she came inside. “I guess your silence is a no.” She pulled away from me. “Fine, call me when you want to see me.”
“Don’t be like that, Maddie.” I grabbed her shoulder and she shook my hand off.
“Whatever, I’m going home.” She yawned. “I’m tired, I need to go to bed.”
“I wish I could be in that bed with you,” I said softly and gave her a half-smile. She looked at me dismissively and got into her car.
“I’ll see you whenever.” She closed the door and started the engine with me standing there, staring with my mouth slightly agape. I wasn’t used to Maddie treating me like this. I knocked on the window and she rolled it down slowly.
“Thanks for spending the day with me.” I leaned in to kiss her cheek, and she turned to me with eyes flashing.
“I’m mad at you, Logan Martelli.”
“I don’t know what I …”
“Oh, shut up, of course you know why I’m mad. You don’t trust me. You won’t tell me why you hate my dad, you won’t let my dad help you, even though I can tell you don’t love being a thief, and it doesn’t seem to be paying you that well. You won’t let me meet your brothers. Maybe you’re ashamed to be dating me? Or maybe you don’t want to bring me into your small microcosm because you don’t really like me that much. Maybe you just like having kinky sex with me, but you don’t really want to date-me date me.”
“That’s not true, Maddie,” I sighed as she glared at me.
“Well, why don’t you think about it and decide what you want to do. Because this limbo isn’t going to work for me.”
“Wait, what?” I frowned, confused. Why was it getting so difficult already?
“I’ll be seeing you, Logan.” She reversed out of the driveway and I watched as she pulled into the street and left. My heart was pounding and I realized that I didn’t have her phone number. Shit! I rolled my eyes as I walked into the house, I would just have to wait for Maddie to contact me. She’d likely call me in a few days anyway, once she realized that I didn’t have her phone number. She couldn’t stay away from me. I laughed as I opened the door and walked past the living room without thinking about my dad. I was about to walk up the stairs when I heard footsteps behind me.
“Whoa, Logan. What are you doing?” Jared slapped my shoulder and his eyes were burning into mine. “I thought you weren’t coming home tonight? What happened with Maddison?”
“I changed my mind, and Maddie went home.”
“What? You let her go home? Fuck it.” He shook his head. “Tell me what happened, man. What’s the plan?”
“There is no plan, Jared,” I answered him wearily.
“What?” His eyes narrowed. “I know you’re not going to let this opportunity go.”
“There is no opportunity, Jared,” I hissed at him angrily. “Maddie has nothing to do with this.”
“Dad had a fit tonight.” Jared placed his hand on the wall. “He hit Vincent.”