"What?" I frowned as I watched her laughing.
"Gotcha." She made a face at me and continued laughing.
"Don't do that, Clemmie." I groaned. "I thought you were seriously upset."
"That's what you get for being an ass**le."
"Hey, I don't mind that you've got a little extra weight." I winked at her. "And neither will other guys. It's just more cushion for the pushing."
"Rhett." She shook her head as she buckled her seatbelt. "You're gross."
"I'm a man, baby. Trust me. A little extra meat is much better than skin and bones."
"So why are all your dates’ skinny as models?" She pursed her lips at me.
"No, they're not."
"Yes they are. I haven't seen an extra inch on any of them."
"Well maybe that's why it's never worked out before. I need to find me a big-boned lady." I laughed at Clementine’s expression.
"Now I'm big-boned," she shook her head and rolled her eyes as I started the engine.
"You're perfect." I looked over and her and spoke honestly. "You don't need to change a thing."
"Uh huh." She turned on the radio. "You're such a liar."
"There is nothing I’d change about you." I spoke softly and I knew she didn't believe me, but my words were completely true. Clementine was my best friend and I wouldn't change a thing about her.
"Let's just talk about something else." She rolled her eyes and I knew she was a bit peeved.
"You're not seriously mad, are you?"
"When do I ever stay mad at you, Rhett Madison?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "No matter how obnoxious you get, I always forgive you."
"Obnoxious? Me?" I joked and we both laughed. "So tell me about this mystery guy."
"I'll show you his profile." She exclaimed excited. "Well, maybe I'll show you when we get to the restaurant." She laughed.
"Okay..." I paused and have her a quick look. "So his name is? How old is he? Etc.?"
"His name is Elliott and he's the same age as us."
"So he's 21."
"That's the same age we were the last time I checked."
"What is he, some kind of loser?" I made a face. "Why is a 21-year-old guy looking for a girl online?"
"I guess he's a loser like me, then," she said tartly, and I felt my face growing warm. I'd putmy foot in it again.
"My bad, Clemmie. That's not what I meant." I made a face. "So tell me more about this idiot."
"His name is Elliott, Rhett."
"Yeah, yeah."
"He likes to bird watch."
"Boring." I yawned.
"It could be fun." She came to his defense. "Plus that means he likes nature and silence."
"Clementine, you chat a mile a minute and you're not really a nature girl."
"I like camping," she protested.
"Clemmie, the last time we went camping with Jake, you complained the whole time about bugs and being scared a bear was going to come get us."
"I was just joking." She made a face at me. "Anyway, I can grow to love it."
"So tell me more about Mr. Country."
"He's not Mr. Country, city-slicker Rhett." She groaned.
"He lives in South Carolina and likes to bird watch. Trust me, he's country. Does he catch gators too?" I looked at her face flashing red and started laughing. "Oh my god, he does, doesn't he? He catches gators too. Does he ride?"
"We ride, Rhett." She glared at me. "And the last thing I knew we both live in South Carolina as well. In fact, I kinda remember seeing some cowboy boots in your closet and a big ol’ pickup in your garage."
"That's cool country." I shrugged. "He's hick country."
"You're a snob."
"I'm just being honest." I licked my lips as we pulled into the Cracker Barrel parking lot. "Someone needs to ask you the hard-hitting questions."
"You haven't asked me any hard hitting questions. You asked some basic questions, made some assumptions and you sound like a jackass."
"Okay, I guess you'd rather sit in silence and wait for the bears to approach you and live in a trailer."
"Elliott doesn't live in a trailer." She paused as we got out of the car. "He's actually from Philadelphia. He came down here for school and lives on campus."
"Whoa, and big boy can't find a girl on campus." I gave her my shocked look. "What a loser."
"Rhett, you're an ass**le."
"I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you dating a serial killer. You know Ted Bundy was up in Gainesville killing all those girls."
"I think I’m fine."
"Do you want me to come with you?" I grinned. "I can go to the restaurant and sit at another table and look all incognito and shit. I'll wear my Ray Bans and John Deere cap, to cover up my face."
"No thanks. And why would you need a disguise? He doesn't know what you look like."
"Maybe he Facebook stalked me."
"Why would he do that?"
"When you told him about me, maybe he was curious as to what I looked like, so he Facebook stalked me."
"Rhett, he has no idea who you are." She laughed. "I haven't mentioned you."
"What?" I frowned as we sat down. "How is that possible?"
"Why would you come up?" She gave me a weird look.
"When he asked you about your friends or your best friend." I paused.
"He didn't ask me about my friends and I didn't bring you up. So don't worry, he hasn't Facebook stalked you."
"Well, you better mention me soon." I opened the menu and looked at my options for breakfast. I was starting to feel aggravated inside and I didn't know why. I wanted to tell Clementine to cancel her date with Elliott. He sounded like a loser and I didn't think she should even waste her time with him, but what did I know? I looked up and stared at Clementine as she studied the menu and made the small little noises she always made when deciding what to eat. I smiled to myself as her eyes studied each item carefully.
"What are you having?" I asked her after a minute.
"No idea." She groaned. "I don't know if I should get breakfast or lunch,"
"Hard decision." I nodded at her. I never knew what to get when I came here, but I knew Clementine loved the biscuits.
“Maybe I’ll get a chicken-fried steak and gravy and some biscuits on the side.” She grinned.