“What if I’m already pregnant?” I looked at him with an anxious expression. It seemed to me that he was hoping I wasn’t. It seemed to me that he didn’t really want me to have a baby—his baby.
“If you’re pregnant, we’ll do the right thing.” He smiled tightly. “We’ll go to the classes and get the books and get ready to welcome a baby into the world.”
“Okay.” So nothing about marriage then, I was disappointed in myself and in him. How could I expect him to want to marry me? He barely knew me. He knows you well enough to let you sleep in his bed and stay in his house though, a voice whispered in me. Shut up, the other voice shouted. Marriage is a big step. Just shut up. I plastered a wide smile on my face so Zane couldn’t see how let down I felt.
“We should go to the doctor tomorrow and check.” He stared into my eyes. “If you’re okay with that.”
“That’s fine.” I smiled tightly and pressed my face into his chest.
“We’d be a regular little family then,” he whispered into my hair. “We’d be connected for life.”
“Yes, yes we would,” I whispered against his chest, and at that moment I knew. I knew that despite all my worries and concerns, I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man in it, it didn’t matter to me how he was in it, he just needed to be in it in some way. I wanted to love and hold onto Zane Beaumont forever, and at times like these, when I was cuddled against his warm chest and could feel his breath on my skin, I felt like it was a possibility. I felt like we had a real shot.
Finding out that he had had a crush on me as well when he had been going to the diner made my heart soar. I knew that to some people, it may have been creepy that he had tried so hard to get me to that party to get to know him better, but that just made me love him more. It showed me that what we had wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing. He had been noticing me for all those months as well. We’d had a real connection in the diner. It wasn’t just on my side. What I dreamt about for myself and for him could be a real possibility. I knew that if we had a baby, it would bring us even closer together. A baby would bond us for life. That’s what I hoped at least. I just wanted to hold onto Zane forever.
“Penny for them.” Zane pulled me back slightly so he could look at me.
“I was just thinking that you do a great job at keeping me warm.” I smiled at him sweetly. “You’re like my personal blanket.”
“I see.” He grinned at me. “Do you need some inner heat as well?”
I cocked my head and pretended to think. “Well, I do feel a slight empty coldness.”
“I see. Well I can’t let that continue, can I?”
“I hope not,” I grinned back at him and then pushed him back onto the bed before straddling him. “Though sometimes I like to make myself warm.”
“Oh?” His eyes clouded with desire as I rubbed myself back and forth on him.
“Yes, sometimes I like to take control.” I grinned and watched his face as I slid down on him and started rocking back and forth.
“I have to say, I like it when you take control.” Zane grinned and reached up to bring me down for a kiss, and as I rode him, I felt myself losing control. I felt the heat rising through me quickly and as I felt my first climax trembling through my body, I knew I was in for another wild night.
Chapter 5
Zane
It was still dark outside and I laid as still as possible so I wouldn’t wake up Lucky. I laid staring out the window and imagined that the stars I saw twinkling were those of my mother and Noah. Though, I didn’t really know where my mother was or what had happened to her. It was as if a whole part of my life was unknown to me. I continued watching the stars and held Lucky close to me as she slept in my arms.
“Everything okay?” she whispered sleepily, and I froze.
“Yes, sorry for waking you.”
“You didn’t wake me.” She turned over and stared at me. “I’ve been awake for a while.”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t want to disturb you.” She smiled sweetly and my heart stirred with an emotion I had never felt before.
“I didn’t want to wake you either.”
“Well, we did a good job of that.” She laughed and stretched against me. “What were you thinking about? You look so serious in the moonlight.”
“I was thinking about my mom.” I kept my voice light.
“You think about her a lot, don’t you?”
“Yeah, her and Noah.” I attempted a smile. “I have memories that sometimes flash in my mind as if someone was putting a photograph in front of my eyes.”
“Oh?” I could tell that Lucky wanted to know me, so I continued.
“I was only six when my mom left, you know. And Noah was four.” I frowned. “We didn’t really understand what was going on. Every morning I would take my blanket and sit at the top of the stairs, waiting for her to come home.”
“Oh, Zane.”
“I waited patiently every morning, sometimes Noah would come out and join me and bring his little rubber duck.”
“Rubber duck?”
“It was a yellow plastic duck that my mother had bought for us. We both hated having baths and so she made it into this game. We would get to swim with the duck if we had a bath.”
“Oh.” She smiled at me gently. “Smart lady.”
“Noah loved that duck.” I laughed. “He kept it all these years. I used to wonder why. Now I suppose it’s because he wanted to keep it to show her when she came back. Wanted to show he never forgot her.”
“I’m sorry.” Lucky’s eyes were filled with tears and I squeezed her hands.
“It’s not your fault.” I shook my head. “We must have waited at the top of the stairs for months, and then one morning, my dad came out and saw us, and he just went crazy.”
“Oh no.” A tear slid from her eye and I reached over and kissed it.
“Don’t cry for me, my love.” My heart surged with love for this woman who was broken by my story.
“I just feel so bad for you and Noah.” She bit her lip and for a moment, all I could think about was the pinkness of her lips and their taste.
“We never went back to the landing again after that. It was as if all hope was gone that she was ever going to come back.”
“But you were so young.”