“So we’re dating then?” I asked lightly, watching her face intently and trying to ignore the pounding in my head. I felt exhilarated yet scared at her words.
“Well, I ….” She paused and looked up at me with a slightly worried expression. “I thought after last night that—”
“Lucky, I’m joking.” I shook my head in chagrin and forced a smile. “I suppose it wasn’t a funny one.” I chuckled and Lucky rolled her eyes.
I didn’t know how to tell Lucky that I was still trying to figure out my feelings. How could I explain that a part of me wanted to be with her and never let her go, but another part of me wanted to run and hide and pretend we had never met. That part of me wanted to close my heart again so I could protect it from the unknown. I so badly wanted her to know how I felt inside, but I knew that she wouldn’t and couldn’t really understand.
“No, not really.” Her eyes held a question that I ignored.
“I’m sorry.” I ran my hands down her hair and kissed her on the lips. “Let me take you to London to celebrate.” I brought up London again, hoping we could focus on something else. I wasn’t ready to get into another conversation about feelings.
“Celebrate what? And what about the documentary?” She frowned. “Sidney Johnson is expecting us to come back with a video camera soon.”
“You’re such a dedicated worker, aren’t you?” I laughed and brought her face closer to mine. “I don’t know that I’ve ever met such a hard worker before.” I kissed her lips lightly again, enjoying the sweet taste of her and wanting to lose myself in her essence.
“Zane,” she groaned, her eyes twinkling at me. They reminded me of liquid chocolate, so warm and silky. I loved her eyes, they seemed to pull me into her world and never let me go. Sometimes I daydreamed that I could jump into her irises and just remain there, surrounded and warmed by her soul.
“Okay, okay.” I pulled away reluctantly, loathe to leave her heady heat. “I thought we could go to London because you know so much about British history. I’m sorry I don’t have a time machine or I would have taken us back to the ’60s and we could have gone all out during the Civil Rights years.”
“Actually, I would have wanted to go back to 1954, that way I could have asked Thurgood Marshall what he was thinking when he won Brown vs. Board of Education and then seen what we could have done to make sure it was implemented a bit better.”
“Sorry, you lost me,” I admitted wryly. “I barely understand and remember King Henry VIII and his, ‘Off with their head!’”
“You would remember that.” She laughed and I resisted the urge to kiss her tenderly.
“So, would you like to go?” I wasn’t sure why I was pushing the issue. Maybe I felt like a trip abroad would cement what we had quicker than just letting everything run its course. Though, I wasn’t sure if I needed to cement the relationship to myself or to Lucky. I wanted her to be mine. Yet, I didn’t want to think about what that meant too deeply. There was still too much I had to take care of in the other areas of my life.
“I’ve always wanted to go to London,” she responded thoughtfully. I stared at her br**sts as she stretched, though it was hard for me to concentrate when all I wanted to do was caress and bite them.
“But?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I just don’t want you to spend the money on me. It’s too much.”
“I have it and I want to spend it.” I sighed as well, annoyed that she was using money to prevent me from spoiling her. “We may be parents soon, Lucky. Then I’ll be spending lots of money on you and our baby.” I ignored the jump in my heart as I spoke.
“Zane, I doubt I’m pregnant.” She looked at me with worried eyes. “I can’t afford to be pregnant right now.”
“I just told you I have the money,” I retorted, my face twisting with displeasure and disappointment. I wasn’t sure if I was mad because she was talking about money again, or not being pregnant. And I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t stop picturing a little Lucky in my arms.
“I don’t mean money, Zane. I mean, I still have to finish school and we barely know each other,” she mumbled, and I watched as the tip of her tongue ran along her lower lip, teasing and tantalizing me.
“I don’t know what you just said.” I jumped out of bed. “All I know is that I want you again very badly, and I better get in the shower before I ravish you and leave you sore for the whole day.” I walked away quickly, confused at the gamut of emotions coursing through me.
“I think I’m already going to be sore.” She jumped out of bed and walked towards me slowly, her arms reaching out to me. Her long, brown hair flowed down her back in a frizzy mess, but she looked absolutely gorgeous to me. More perfect than any magazine model could ever hope to be. I walked towards her and pulled her into my arms so that she was pressed against me tightly. Her br**sts were crushed against my chest, and I placed my hands at the small of her back and put my nose in her hair so I could breathe her in. Her very essence was like heaven to me.
“I love this moment.” She peeked up at me and smiled. “This is a perfect moment.”
“All of our moments from here on out are going to be perfect.” I grinned at her and ignored the hollow feeling in my stomach. “Just promise me you won’t continue doing stupid things.” I frowned at her and stared into her eyes, trying to convey to her the seriousness of what I was saying. I needed to be sure I could protect her from everything. And I wouldn’t be able to protect her if she did stupid things.
“Can I tell you something, Zane?” She pulled away from me with a sheepish grin and I ran my fingers along her collarbone, tracing the delicate lines carefully.
“You want me to tie you up?” I grinned and tried not to picture her tied up against the bed, begging me to take her.
“No thanks, Robert Grey.” She laughed.
“If my name was Christian, you’d say yes.”
“I think you’re obsessed with that book.”
“I do own the book Kama Sutra.” Our eyes locked and I continued running my hands along the side of her body. “We could learn some new moves and make our own book.”
“Fifty Shades of Zane?”
“The Wonderful and Mysterious Sex Life of Lucky.”