It takes me a moment to answer, because regardless of how many times I’ve justified staying out of a relationship, putting it into words is always harder. “When I love someone, I love them with everything I have inside of me. And when I love someone, I put their needs above my own.” I look at the road ahead. My chest pangs as I explain, “I can’t afford to do that. I worked so hard to get here, James. I remember while all my friends were going out, I was home studying my ass off. While my sisters were celebrating the end of the year with drinks and clubs, I was home studying my ass off. When people were meeting the people they would spend the rest of their lives with, I was home studying my ass off.” I take in a deep breath and add on an exhale, “I won’t give up what I’m doing, not for anyone. That’s why I’m single.”
“Sounds like a lonely life,” he mutters sadly.
Leaning my head against the window, I whisper, “It is, James. It really is.”
We drive on in silence, and I’m thankful for it.
***
Max
“What’s going on with you and Helena?” Ash asks as he walks into the chill out room.
I tilt my head and think about this for a moment before I state with a nod, “I like her.”
Ash pulls out a chair and turns it around before sitting on it and rolling his eyes. “You like yogurt. You don’t like Helena.”
I look down at my now-empty container of yogurt on the table. I smile in agreement. “I do like yogurt.”
“He does,” Trick cuts in from reading the paper on the sofa. I turn to find him smiling up at Ash like a fool. “He likes yogurt.”
My body shakes in silent laughter. Ash shakes his head in frustration. “Whatever.” He looks me in the eye. “Stay away from her.”
I lift my hands in the air. “I can’t do that, Ghost.”
His jaw tics. “What do you mean, you can’t? You can, and you will, if you like your teeth.”
Standing, I pick up my empty container and dump it in the trash. “Seriously, dude, I can’t. She’s agreed to doing private sessions with Ceecee.” I shrug. “No can do.”
His eyes turn deadly. “Keep your hands off of her.”
I tilt my head and think about this a moment before answering, “No.”
I walk out the door as he calls out in disbelief, “What did you say?”
Smirking, and knowing it’s killing him inside, I call back, “I said no.” I walk down to my office, chuckling all the way.
Suck on them apples, Asher.
***
Helena
“So when I told him we wouldn’t be having relations anymore until he left his wife, he got all kinds of pissed with me. What? Like I’m the asshole, because I want to be some guy’s everything? Puh-leeze,” mutters Felicity.
Holy shitballs, this girl is my hero. She knows what she wants, and she makes no excuses about what she’s got to do to get it. Her life is a D-grade soap opera. Mouth gaping, I nudge her hand. “Then what happened?”
Her eyes round comically. She blinks prettily. “Somehow, his wife found about his sleazy ways. She got photos in the mail. Anonymously, of course.” She closely examines her nails, then murmurs, “I mean, the tall blonde just happened to be blurred out, but she got the picture loud and clear. Pun intended.” She winks. “His orgasm face is so ugly he couldn’t be confused for anyone else.”
A choked sound escapes me. Laughter bubbles up my throat ‘til it bursts out of me, loud and uninhibited. Patrons of the café turn around to stare at me, and normally, I’d care, but this is just too funny for me to give half a damn. Wiping at stray tears that roll down my cheeks, I tell Felicity, “You’re amazing, you know that? And to think I thought you were some du—”
Warning! Warning! Foot meeting mouth at rapid speed!
Felicity narrows her eyes at me. “Some what?”
Uh oh. I have no doubt in my mind that Felicity could beat the ever-loving crap out of me if she needed to. But she is my friend, and friends tell each other the truth. Wincing, I mumble, “Might’ve thought you were a bit of a bimbo. Sorry, babe.”
Tipping her head back, she laughs at my obvious discomfort. “Oh man, the look on your face. I know what I look like, Lena,” she thickens her New York accent dramatically, flicks her bleached-blonde hair, and puts on her best duck-face impression, “but I’m glad ya realized I ain’t got shit for brains.”
Smiling, I tell her honestly, “You’re one of the most kickass women I know, Flick.”
She bunches her nose. “Nawww, I love you too…cupcake.”
My body stills as my eyes widen. Leaning over to her, I hiss, “Where did you hear that?”
She grins. “I might’ve heard Max say it to you.” My head lands on the table with a thud and she chuckles. “Why does he call you that anyways?”
I lift my head from the table and mumble, “He says I smell like cupcakes.”
Her face softens. She lifts a hand to her chest and sighs. “Wow. That is so adorably Max.”
I mutter a disgruntled, “I know.”
She grins. “I gotta tell ya; I tried to catch that man.” My eyes widen. Really? She shakes her head sadly. “He did not want to be caught. Such a shame.”
I blink at her shoulder and murmur, “Oh yeah, such a shame.”
She lifts her glass and sips at her ice water. “So how long you been crushing on him?”
Lifting my own glass to my lips, I pause midway. “What?”
“Max,” she prompts, “how long you been gaga for him?”
I could lie. I could tell her I don’t like him. That I never noticed his strong jaw and golden eyes, or his magic dimple. But I cave. Sipping my iced tea, I confess, “For forever. The first time I met him at Tina’s wedding, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.” A soft sigh escapes me. “We were introduced and I stuck out my hand.” A small smile tips my lips. “He looked down at my outstretched hand and shoved it aside. He swept me up in a bear hug and swung me from side to side. I remember breathing in his scent. It wasn’t even cologne. It was just him. When he set me down, he kissed my cheek and told me I looked beautiful.”
I breathe, “I honestly thought I had fallen in love. I thought I had met the man of my dreams.” I straighten as my smile falls. “But then I saw him do the same thing when he met my older sister, Nina, and it didn’t feel so special anymore. Plus, I threw myself at him at Nat’s wedding.” I smile sadly and shrug. “He didn’t even look up from his phone. He dismissed me, and to top it off, he called me Helen.”