A sad smile tugs at my lips. “He rejected me.” I watch James wince and quickly add, “But I don’t think he evens knows it.”
He shrugs. “Lena, from what I know about guys, being that I am one, is…we can be very stupid sometimes.”
I chuckle, but cover my face with my hands in embarrassment over having this conversation with my boss. “It’s just that I’ve seen him recently, and he’s been sweet. Like, too sweet. Annoyingly funny too. It’s really pissing me off.”
“Oh, yeah. Sweet, funny guys totally suck,” he deadpans.
I laugh-cry, “See what I mean? I’m an ass!”
When he reaches over to take my hand, I look up at him in surprise. He responds gently, “You’re not an ass. I don’t think you’ve been an ass a day in your life.”
“I told my sister to fuck off this morning, and when the guy next to me looked at me funny, I told him to fuck off too. Then I sent my other sister a text telling her I hate her.”
He blinks.
And blinks.
And blinks again.
He shrugs. “Yeah, I got nothin’.”
We laugh together. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I brought this up.”
“You brought it up ‘cause it’s bothering you and you needed to talk to someone.” He smiles. “I’m actually happily surprised you talked to me about it. Thank you for trusting me.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, please. You know you’re awesome.”
He tilts his head slightly and deliberates, “I do. I really do.” He winces when I play punch his arm. “Ouch! Okay, okay, I’m joking! But thanks.”
We stand and I ask, “Have you been to Icing on the Cake? It’s a bakery somewhere around here.”
He exaggerates heavy breathing. “Uh, yeah. It only has the best cakes, cupcakes, and pie in New York.”
I’m overcome with jealousy. I scratch at my arm like a junkie needing her next fix. “I need a cupcake, James. I need it soon. I’m a once-a-day kind of girl. It keeps me sane. I’ve already been a day without one; I can’t go another.”
He grins. “Sweet tooth?”
I breathe, “You have no idea.”
“I can take you there after work, show you where it is.”
Relief flows through me at knowing I’ll have delicious baked goods soon enough. “Thank you. I just need you to show me once and I’ll be set.”
He smiles. “No problem. We’ve got Ceecee in at three o’clock. We don’t have any other afternoon appointments. We can go after that.”
Can this guy be any more awesome? Really? “You’re my hero.”
He winks at me, and then walks out of the room. All I’m left asking myself is why I’m so unaffected by that wink. My brain answers for me.
It’s not the wrong wink.
It’s the wrong guy.
***
Helena
James and I stretch before Ceecee gets in. Honestly, I can’t wait to see her. I haven’t seen her since Nat’s wedding, and even then, I didn’t get a chance to speak to her before Nik and Max’s mom, Cecilia, took all the kids for a sleepover so the adults could party on. I wonder what James will do about her derision to exercise. After all, if a teenager doesn’t want to do something, it doesn’t matter about the reasoning; they aren’t going to do it.
A knock at the door sounds, and James and I both lift our heads.
Max pops his head inside the room. “Hey, I thought you’d be in here.” He walks over to us, and in comes Ceecee right behind him.
My smile fades when I see she looks about ready to spit fire. Her auburn hair is braided, and she wears a loose tee and sweats. She’s grown since I last saw her. She’s stuck somewhere between a child and a woman, in that awkward stage when your body is changing. You start to get boobs, and suddenly, there’s hair where there wasn’t before. Being a teenager sucked. I feel for her.
James smiles down at her. “Hey, C. How you doing?” She shrugs with a face of stone, not willing to look up at him.
I try. “Hey Ceecee, remember me?” She nods once without looking up. My bravado fails, but I fake it. “You’ve grown so much. You’re becoming a fine young woman.” I look over at Max. “I can see why your dad is so proud.”
He smiles at me. A warm smile I hadn’t yet seen before. It almost knocks me on my ass. She looks up at me cautiously before lowering her gaze again. Her jaw steels.
Max looks down at his daughter, eyes narrowed. “Don’t be rude.”
Ceecee mutters through gritted teeth, “Hi.”
Damn. We’ve got our work cut out today.
James looks to Max, then jerks his chin towards the door. “Mind if I have a word outside?”
My eyes widen as panic settles over me.
No! Don’t leave me alone with the broody teenager!
Max nods, but looks over at me. “You gonna be okay?”
The concern on his face is palpable. No way am I telling him his daughter is a little scary. I wave him off. “Go. We’ll be fine. Won’t we, Ceecee?”
She sighs, long and drawn out, resting her chin on her balled fist. He hesitates.
I mouth, ‘Go.’
He does, but he does it reluctantly. James follows him out the door and I’m left here, alone with Ceecee. She’s a completely different girl to the happy one I remember.
“How was school?” I ask with interest.
“Fine.”
Form a connection. “What’s your favorite subject? I loved art.”
“I hate art.”
Of course you do. “Do you like to read?”
She looks around the room, eyes trained on the equipment in the far corner. “Not really.”
Okay. This isn’t working. Be blunt. “Ceecee?” She looks up at me. “Honey, you look a little tense. Is something wrong?”
Her eyes blaze at my question. “I don’t want to be here. The only reason I came, was because my dad brought me. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t have come.”
Okay. Fair enough. “Is the exercise so bad?”
Sweet, little Ceecee long gone, she rolls her eyes at me and turns her chair around. “You don’t get it. You don’t understa—” A sharp yelp has me kneeling by her side in an instant. Her face screwed up with pain, her body is so stiff the tendons in her neck bulge. This is a spasm. A bad one.
“Breathe, honey. Breathe.”
Her mouth parted, she huffs in short, jerky breaths. I see the pain in her tear-filled eyes, and I finally understand a small portion of what Max goes through every single time this happens. “Look at me, Ceecee.” Her eyes meet mine. She’s panicking. “Breathe with me.” I reach out to hold her hands tightly. “Breathe in deeply, and release slowly.”