“How about starting with what happened to you after I thought you died seven years ago?” Her tone was sharper than she’d intended. Evidently she hadn’t quite forgiven him for that yet.
Finn nodded. “After I found proof of Blur’s activities, one of the Coalition agents on the case, Erik Dallas, convinced me I had to turn Blur and the gang in. He arranged for my death after I agreed to join the new organization he was forming.”
His gaze drifted away over her head as he talked, like he was reliving the memory. “It seemed like the perfect way to start a new life. To become someone different. I thought everyone who knew my past was dead. Gone.” He sighed and brought his gaze back to hers. “A few weeks ago, Dallas came to me. Wanted to bring in a new option to help us retrieve Myka, since we’d been unsuccessful. A thief by the name of Renna Carrizal.”
Finn raked a hand through his dark hair. “The world I’d built so carefully came crashing down around me. You couldn’t be the same Renna from my time with Blur. It wasn’t possible. But there you were, large as life on that parking deck and obviously very good at your job. I wanted to run you through with my sword right then and there.”
She nodded. “Yeah, that was pretty obvious.”
“I was furious. You were a part of the life I’d worked so hard to forget. And you were a threat to everything I stood for. I tried to convince Dallas to arrest you or send you away, but he wouldn’t listen. So I was determined to make you miserable. To make you feel as on edge as I did. Then you would laugh at something the kid said or smile at him, and even after all these years, I still recognized that girl I’d known. It killed me thinking you were part of Blur’s slavery business.”
“I wish you would have asked me about it. You were always so stubborn.”
“Guess some things never change, no matter how hard you try.”
His shoulders drooped, and Renna wanted to touch his arm, to comfort him. Instead she clutched her hands in her lap and let him continue.
“So when you went off with Viktis…I don’t know what came over me. I was furious. But for some reason, I was also jealous. It didn’t make sense.” Finn stared down at the bench. Traced a finger across the worn plastic. “I expected to never see you again. Assumed that you’d run off with the merc and disappear. But when you came back, everything I thought about you shifted. And even before I knew the truth about you and Blur, I’d started to respect you.”
Renna blinked at that. “You did?”
Finn nodded. “I saw how good at your job you were, at how much pride you took in doing things well. You’re amazing at what you do, even if you don’t always do it the way I’d approve of. We’re lucky to have you here. I’m lucky to have you here. I would never have made it out of that facility without you.”
She smirked. “You probably wouldn’t have gotten in without me either.”
His face hardened into a grim expression. “That’s what I mean. I don’t want to do it without you. And that scares the hell out of me.”
“I know the feeling.” It almost made it worse that Finn understood where she was coming from, that he was having the same conflict. “I had planned to sell my stuff, cash out my accounts, and change my name. I was going to retire to some tropical island and life on the beach. Alone.”
“So what now?” he asked. Need and vulnerability warred in his expression. The silence stretched between them until it felt heavy and impenetrable.
How she answered him could change everything. For both of them.
Her mind flashed back to the series of men her mother had slept with. To the series of men Renna had slept with. The only difference was Renna had chosen her conquests, not had them chosen for her because they paid for her services.
She curled her shoulders in, wrapping her arms around her waist as the tightness in her chest grew. She wasn’t her mother. Sometimes it was okay if life wasn’t entirely in her control. It was okay to trust people, even if they didn’t always live up to that trust.
A shuddering breath shook her to her core. Dammit. This was more terrifying than finishing her first job.
Finally, she raised her eyes to look at Finn. “You’re not the only one it scares the hell out of. But then I remember that the best jobs always freak me out before I start.”
“I know that feeling. It’s the same one I get before starting a new mission. You just have to hold your breath and jump in.”
She nodded. “Sometimes fear is good for you. It makes you sharper. More alert. It makes things more real. And if you have someone else to depend on…”
“You don’t have to do it alone,” he finished. His lips curled up slowly. “So does this mean you’re going to stick around for a little while?”
Renna used her finger to draw a cross over her heart. “I promise.”
His grin grew bigger. “I can’t believe you’re still using the Code.”
“Hey, it’s kept me alive for the last seven years. You were a smart guy back then.”
Finn raised an eyebrow. “That was a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one.”
She shrugged, trying to keep a serious face. “Too bad I’m still not convinced your merc skills have carried over. I might need a bit more convincing.”
“Convincing, eh? I think we need to take care of that right now.” He leaned forward and scooped her into his arms, pulling her across his lap. She felt him thicken as she settled against him.
“Why, Captain, is that a blaster in your pocket?” she asked with a wicked grin.
Finn let out a low growl and kissed her hungrily. His hands drifted lower to lift the hem of her shirt and stroke the soft skin of her stomach.
She shivered against him and let her own hands tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer.
“Captain, we have a distress call coming through.” Finn jumped at Keva’s voice over the intercom. He pulled his lips away from Renna’s, but kept her in his embrace, pressed against his chest.
“Who’s it from?” he asked, flashing Renna a look of disappointment.
“I can’t tell. Looks like it’s coming from Navang’s facility. Maybe he has defectors.”
“We’ll be right there.” Finn smiled at Renna. “Are we good?”
She forced a stern look to her face. “For now. But I can’t wait for shore leave. You still owe me some more convincing.”