Chapter Forty-eight
“I should go.”
Okay, those were the three saddest words in the English language as far as Cait was concerned. But Duke had a point. It was six o’clock, and she had to guess it was, in fact, time for him to go home.
They were both lying on their sides with their heads on her pillows, facing each other with the sheets tucked in around their warm bodies. It had been a long, long time since she’d shared a moment like this, a night like this. Such a reminder of why people put up with the stresses of relationships—this communion was about so much more than what they had physically shared.
“When am I coming back?” he demanded.
She had to smile. It was not in his nature to sugarcoat things, or beat around the bush—and it was curiously relaxing to always know where she stood with him. “When do you want to?”
“Tonight.”
Her response was to lean in and kiss him. “Sounds perfect—oh, wait.”
“What?”
“Ah … I have a funeral to go to today. Not sure what kind of mood I’ll be in.”
He frowned, and stroked her hair back. “Anyone close to you?”
“A student of mine. She died … unexpectedly.” Yeah, ’cause you didn’t exactly schedule getting abducted and murdered. “It’s going to be really emotional.”
“Shit. He or she must have been really young.”
“She. And she was nineteen. It’s a tragedy. You may have read about it in the paper—Sissy Barten?”
“I’m not really up on the news. But I am sorry.”
“So young to have lost her life. It’s just … I don’t want to get morbid or anything, but it’s a huge reminder of how easily people’s destinies can get off-track through no fault of their own. I mean, she was in a good college and keeping her nose clean. She worked hard and was crazy talented—everything was going so well for her. And then one night she goes on a random errand, and it all ends. I don’t know how to make sense of it, and I can’t imagine what her family’s going through. Life is just so short.”
Duke was quiet for a while. “You’re right.”
“Anyway, I don’t know how I’m going to be. Maybe tomorrow night?”
He shook his head. “I take you as you come. If you don’t want to see anybody, that’s one thing. But if you’re feeling like you’ve got to front for me? Not necessary.”
“Thanks.” She smiled at him. “Why don’t we play it by ear and see how I do? Would that be okay?”
“Yup.”
“You are … pretty wonderful, you know that?”
“Not really, but if you think so? All that matters.”
At that, he kissed her the way he always did, taking over, owning her in some indescribable way. But then he was getting out of bed, his naked body gleaming in the light from the hall—
Shoot, the man dressed with disarming efficiency.
She could have used a longer show.
And maybe he was right. After the funeral, maybe getting together was a good idea, a way of taking her mind off things…
All too soon he was standing at the foot of her bed, looming with that body of his, dressed in what she’d taken off of him.
“Can I make you coffee on my way out?” he said.
“I think I might go back to sleep.”
“Oh, man, did I keep you up last night?”
“You don’t sound very sorry about it.”
He came around and ducked down. “That’s because I’m not.”
The kiss was a lingering one, telling her more than words could how much he had valued the night before … and however many nights might be coming for them in the future.
“This is the first time in a long time …” She hesitated.
“What?”
“I just … I haven’t really been looking forward to the future.” As it dawned on her how that could be taken, she rushed ahead. “Wait, wait, not that I’m thinking anything nutty—I swear. It’s … I don’t know. I love my jobs and my life, I really do. I just haven’t been excited about anything for a long while.”
Duke stared into her eyes for the longest time. “Me neither.”
By nine a.m., the sun was rarin’ to go, rising up over the tree line and throwing out the kind of BTUs that suggested winter was well f**ked, and summer not just a hypothetical.
Having pulled into work, Duke parked his truck where he always did in the lot beside the Shed—but instead of getting out and moving along to clock in, he just stared through the chain-link fence at that great, rising fireball.
With a slow, deliberate circle, he ran his hand around the steering wheel, even though he wasn’t just in park, his engine was off: nowhere to go, but driving anyway.
After he’d left Cait’s, he’d gone home, and found Rolly out cold, but breathing on the sofa. At that point, he’d listened to a message from his supervisor, left sometime the night before, and discovered he was pulling a full shift in the morning—good news. And then Alex Hess had texted him that she was putting him back on the schedule at the Iron Mask next week—better news.
Ordinarily, he hated free time.
Although … with Cait on the horizon? Wasn’t so sure about that anymore. Especially because nights were when they were likely to see each other.
How much had she slept in? he wondered.
God, how long had it been since he’d thought like that? Since Nicole.
Yeah, and you know how that worked out, a part of him bitched.
“Shut it.”
When his brain didn’t cough up anything else, he smiled harshly. Nice change of pace—you argue with yourself and sometimes you could really get through to the other guy.
… it’s a huge reminder of how easily people’s destinies can get off-track …
Fuck. That one sentence had been banging around his head since he’d pulled away from the curb in front of his woman’s house. Over and over. To the point where it was driving him batshit.
Taking his phone out, he put in the password, went into his voice mails, and just looked at the list. Nicole’s newest had been the third he’d received while he’d been at Cait’s, and unlike the other two, he’d listened to what she’d left a number of times.
As he stared at his phone, he thought, See, this was why you stayed in your comfort zone. You started making a connection with someone, your ice got broken … and then you started doing stupid f**king shit.