I sighed and looked away, and my thoughts turned to my own problems.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Allison, between bites. She had also, somehow, managed to order another glass of wine without my knowledge. Maybe she had a telepathic link with the bartender. Wouldn’t surprise me.
“Rude,” said Allison, picking up my stray thought.
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m just cranky.”
“I would be, too, if I couldn’t eat. So, let’s get back to what else is making you cranky.”
I nodded. She had, of course, picked up on my brooding thoughts...and what I knew I had to do.
“You’re going to break up with him,” she said.
By him, she was referring to my boyfriend of the past four months. Russell Baker was a professional boxer and about the sexiest thing I’d ever come across. He was also, of course, the man who had killed Allison’s fiancé. Or, at least, that’s what we had initially figured.
Turned out, the case had been far stranger than originally thought, and Allison never held a grudge against him, and as well, she shouldn’t.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m breaking up with him.”
“Why?”
I thought about it again with a heavy heart...then told her why.
Chapter Nine
We were jogging Tri-City Park.
The park connected three cities: Fullerton, Brea and Placentia, cities that didn’t mean anything to anyone outside of Orange County. Truth was, I wasn’t sure which city the park was actually in. I liked to think that with each one-third loop around the park I was entering a new town. I was easily amused.
My jogging partner was Russell Baker. He was a professional boxer and, I guess you could say, my kind-of boyfriend. We’d been dating now for six months, and we seemed to be committed enough, although no one had said much of anything about anything. Meaning, we’d never discussed our situation. We just sort of flowed.
I saw Russell about twice a week, which was enough for me. Maybe I wasn’t ready for more, I don’t know. Or maybe Russell and I didn’t have enough chemistry. We were always comfortable, relaxed, friendly...and yes, passionate, too. But the passion didn’t extend much further than the bedroom.
The evening was warm. It was early summer. School had just gotten out. I would have my kids for the next three months. A good thing on the one hand: I could sleep in. My kids knew my super-secret identity, and kept it brilliantly, including secrets of their own.
That my kids had to go around keeping so many secrets was something of a burden for me. I hated knowing that I had inconvenienced them. Lord knew I tried to keep it all from them...I just couldn’t. Not consistently.
Granted, it hadn’t all been bad. Truth be known, our combined freakiness—my immortality, my son’s super-strength, and my daughter’s ability to read all minds—had brought us closer. It was a sort of us versus them, and it was nice.
For now.
We’d see how this all played out.
As we jogged, Russell and I chatted amicably, easily, neither of us out of breath. My shield was up with him, as usual. It was always up. Otherwise, he would probe, unknowingly, deep into my psyche. He would have been surprised as hell by what he found in there.
No, Russell did not know my super-secret identity. I had purchased a lifetime supply of hand warmers, which I kept in my pockets at all times, so that when he and I held hands, there was some semblance of warmth. Granted, there wasn’t much warmth when we were body to body, but I didn’t think Russell had noticed how cold my flesh might have felt in those intimate moments.
Afterward, I rarely lay naked next to him. I would jump up, pretend to use the bathroom, then get dressed and lay next to him again.
It was weird. He knew it was weird, but never said anything about it.
For us to work, for us to make it to another level, I would have to trust him with my Big Secret. And I would have to trust him without controlling his mind, which I swore to myself that I would never do.
He knew about my inability to go into sunlight, and he knew I wasn’t much of an eater. I also suspected that he knew I was keeping something important from him.
Boy, was I.
Hardest of all was that Anthony had fallen in love with Russell. And why wouldn’t he? Russell was a professional fighter...and we had gone to his last two big fights. One in Los Angeles, and one in Vegas. Anthony was Russell’s biggest fan.
Not to mention, I had spent the last six months shielding my thoughts from him, which got exhausting. Russell and I had developed an almost immediate psychic link, much like I had with Detective Sanchez. Except, with Russell, I could never fully go there with him.
I wasn’t sure why. I think, perhaps, out of a need to have a real relationship. To be as normal as possible. Except, being normal was proving exhausting and almost impossible. I spent half my time lying to the poor guy. Yes, lying came easily to private investigators. We lied to get what we wanted—we pretended to be other people, other occupations, whatever it took to close a case.
I’d found that once the lies had started with Russell, I just couldn’t take them back...and I didn’t want to be known as a liar. I didn’t want him to think he couldn’t trust me.
But, nevertheless, I was indeed fibbing to him. I was a fibber. The whole damn relationship was built on fibs.
“You’re quiet this evening, Sammie. Are you okay?” Russell asked. His voice was silky smooth. His movements were silky smooth, and they were in the bedroom, too. The man had full control over his body...and what a body it was.
Sadly, he also thought that we were closer in age than we really were.
He thought I was mortal.
I lied about the food I ate.
The drinks I drank.
I lied about my friends.
About my kids.
About the real reason for my divorce.
I lied about everything to him.
Yes, I probably should have come clean about it all...but once the lies started, I couldn’t take them back. And I didn’t want him to know what a monster I really was. He adored me. I knew he did. His interest was genuine, real.
He didn’t deserve me or my lies.
As we jogged, I turned to him. “No, I’m not okay,” I said. “We need to talk.”
Chapter Ten
We stood together on a little bridge.
The bridge spanned a stream that flowed into the bigger pond...or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe the pond flowed into the stream. Hard to say since the water was mostly stagnant and smelled. Beneath the dark surface, I could see glowing torpedo-shaped fish swimming idly. I could see other forms glowing, too. Water spiders and flying insects. Most life gave off a sort of bio-luminescence, at least to my eyes. I could see anything living at night. And sometimes things not living, too.