Comics have been made of me, and even movies. I have a Facebook page that numbers in the hundreds of millions of fans. Even more than Vin Diesel.
Go figure.
Many laugh at me, some admire, most fear me.
I would fear me, too. A giant of a man. Half man, half animal. A freak of nature. There was nowhere for me to hide, and so I didn’t bother hiding. In fact, I never bothered moving. I liked my one-bedroom apartment. I liked my Pabst Blue Ribbon even more. It just takes a hell of a lot more of the stuff to get me drunk.
No, I don’t have a Bat Signal, but I do have Skype.
You can Skype me, too. I’m always ready to help. Just let me finish my beer first.
I am The Bull.
Go figure.
The End
The Prophetic Heart
Adam Carr has a problem.
It’s his heart. He’s sure of it. Except, of course, his doctors can’t find anything wrong with him or his heart.
Nothing at all.
This troubles Adam, as he’s certain the problem is getting progressively worse. In fact, as he leaves his cardiologist’s office now, stepping out into the blazing hot Corona sunshine, Adam is certain that someone is playing a very sick joke on him. Perhaps even God.
As he stands there, as his body adjusts from the air conditioned comfort of the specialist’s office to the extreme heat of this outpost southern California city, Adam finds thinking difficult.
After all, it’s damn hard to concentrate when he could hear his own heart pounding in his ears.
He takes in a lot of air and lifts his face to the sun and listens to his heart beating so loudly that he’s certain anyone within twenty feet can hear it.
Except, of course, no one can hear it.
Only him.
And it is totally freaking him out.
Thump, thump, thump...
And so it goes.
He’s had three experts check him out, and subsequently three experts tell him there’s nothing wrong with him. Nothing at all. This last expert even went so far as to suggest that Adam go see a psychologist.
“It’s in your head, I think,” said the doctor looking down at a clipboard.
“No, it’s in my chest, doc. I can hear it. Pounding loudly.”
“Your heart is beating normal, Mr. Carr. I’m sorry, there’s just nothing I can do for you. You are, in fact, in perfect health.”
And so it goes.
Now Adam finds himself standing in the heat and the sunlight, listening to his heart, and knowing without a doubt that he’s very much not in perfect health.
Something is wrong. Very wrong.
Adam first noticed the louder-than-normal beating two weeks ago. He’d been lying in bed with his girlfriend. They’d had a particularly vigorous lovemaking session and he’d been out of breath, reveling in his manliness. His heart, as one would expect, had been hammering away in his chest. Loud and persistent. Hell, he could feel it rocking his entire body. At the time, Adam had grinned. After all, his hammering heart was evidence of a job well done.
And so he had lain back, smiling.
That should have been the end of it. Except for one problem...his heart continued thudding in his chest.
Thump, thump, thump.
Louder and louder.
“What the hell?” He’d sat up and asked his sleeping girlfriend if she could hear his heart and she rolled over and went back to sleep.
Now nervous, Adam had gotten out of bed and paced the small bedroom, listening. Yes, his heart was as loud as ever. He was sure of it. He felt his chest. His heart didn’t seem to be beating any faster. He counted the beats per minute and did a quick internet search for average heart rates. His heart rate was average. Sixty beats per minutes. Nothing to worry about, right?
Then why was his pounding so damn loud in his ears?
Why indeed?
He didn’t know, and now two weeks later, neither did his doctors. Yes, Adam was officially worried. Who wouldn’t be?
A psychologist, Dr. Mann had suggested.
Hell, maybe he was going crazy.
Adam Carr didn’t know, but one thing was for certain, he was burning up out here in the sun.
He heads to his car and gets in even as his heart begins to pound even louder.
Louder and louder.
* * *
Traffic is heavy.
Worse, drivers seem to be driving particularly crazy this afternoon. Adam wonders if the crazy driving is a result of a full moon or something—but then wonders if full moon excuses count during the middle of the day. After all, it was night somewhere in the world, wasn’t it? He doesn’t know much about astronomy. And, really, he doesn’t much care.
No, all he cares is about is getting to the bottom of his beating heart.
Or rather, his unusually loud beating heart.
“I mean,” he says to his empty Toyota Prius, “what the hell is that all about?”
He doesn’t know but, as he’s taken to doing these past few weeks, he drives with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his chest.
Adam knows he probably shouldn’t be driving. He’s too distracted. Too weirded out. After all, what the hell was wrong with him?
“And how does no one else hear it?” he asks the empty car. His heartbeat is so loud, so thumping loud. Thumping in his ears, his chest, throughout his whole goddamn body.
Jesus.
Adam is, admittedly, scared.
That something is wrong, he has no doubt. Whether in his head or body, he doesn’t know. Either way, something is very, very wrong.
To make matters worse, the beating, he’s certain, is getting louder. This morning it had literally woken him up from a fitful sleep. Pounding in his chest. Seemingly up through the bed itself. The walls themselves. The earth itself.
Jesus...
The past two weeks Adam has known only incessant pounding. It’s driving him crazy. Literally.
“Sweet Jesus help me,” he says, rubbing his chest as he stops at a red light.
Yes, today has been different. Today the sound seems to have actually gotten louder. And it only seemed to be getting louder and louder.
Adam shuts his eyes and rubs his temples and is not surprised that a tear squeezes out of his tightly shut eyes.
The beating is so loud, so frustratingly loud. Frustrating because no one else can hear it.
Next, he runs his fingers through his unkempt hair. He knows he looks like a mess. He doesn’t care. Hell, he doesn’t care about anything anymore—not until someone can figure out what the devil is wrong with him.
As he goes back to staring at the light, waiting for it to turn green, Adam is certain that his heart is going to explode in his chest.
The sound consumes him totally. He could have been on a construction site, with a jackhammer nearby. But he isn’t. No, he’s sitting in his little car, scared shitless, knowing without a doubt that he was going crazy.