His sudden grin reminded her so much of the boy she’d first fallen for so many years ago. She laughed despite the serious tone of their conversation.
And then he put her hand palm-down on his chest and her laughter and his grin both fell completely away.
It was testament to just how well he knew her that he understood that when words were failing, the only surefire path to get to her emotions was through her hands.
“Be with me, Vicki. For real this time. And let me convince you that you’ll never need to know the answers to those questions.”
Vicki’s vows to be cautious had nothing on Ryan’s dark eyes or the strong and steady beat of his heart beneath her hands.
“I want to be with you, too,” she said softly. “But even though we started out things in reverse, I think we need to take it slow. Just to be sure that we don’t accidentally mess everything up.”
“Slow, huh?” Her heart dropped when he frowned. “I don’t know if I can promise to go slow with you in bed.”
Relief flooded her. “Don’t be stupid.” She grabbed another condom out of the side table, then pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. “Hot, fast, and dirty sex is grandfathered into this discussion.”
He grinned at her even as he pulled her mouth down to his. “Then what do you say we have a quickie before I ask you out on our first official date?”
Moments later she was answering him by sinking down onto his hard heat. For the next few minutes she let the sweet press of his mouth against hers, the rough caress of his needy hands over her skin, push away her doubts, her fears...and the sure knowledge that nothing had ever come easy to her before.
Especially not love.
Chapter Twenty-two
Ryan had waited fifteen years for this first date with Vicki.
Fortunately, the past year had been a master course in love as he’d watched his brothers and sisters fall one after the other. Regardless of how much he’d razzed each one of them along the way, he’d paid attention to their soul-deep emotional connections, the humor between the couples...and the sparks that lit and crackled between lovers like firecrackers.
Maybe it was too much to want a first date to do all those things. After all, he’d been happy with dinner and a movie and uncomplicated sex before. But there was no point comparing Vicki to any of the other women he’d dated.
And yet, Ryan knew that even if he pulled off the best first date in history, it didn’t mean his work was done where Vicki’s heart was concerned.
Because she hadn’t let him say he loved her.
He understood that she’d been hurt so badly by the only other man she’d ever let herself trust that she was wary of taking the leap again with him. But Ryan would never hurt her.
Never.
By the time Vicki walked through his front door and smiled with obvious pleasure at seeing him, he was way past the first date they hadn’t even had yet.
Unfortunately, he was pretty sure doing her up against the front door wasn’t supposed to be in perfect first date plans.
Just like blurting out “I love you” wasn’t going to fly either.
“How was your day?”
She looked radiant as she walked into the kitchen and dropped her bag on the counter. “Amazing. My project really started to come together today, in a really big way. Thank God.”
How was he supposed to control himself when she was glowing like that?
He put his arms on either side of her, effectively trapping her against the kitchen island. “I can’t wait to see it.” He lowered his mouth to hers and said, “I couldn’t wait to see you, either,” before kissing her softly, forcing himself to remain gentle rather than giving in to the nearly overpowering urge to lift her up on the counter and take her right then and there.
“What about you?” she asked when he let her up for air.
“Life is good.” She was so soft and sweet against him that he could hardly remember what he’d done all day. “Smith helped me convince a bunch more filthy rich people to clean up some by giving the schools money for sports programs. I don’t know why I didn’t think to pull him in before now.”
She grinned. “I can only imagine the team the two of you must make. Those poor rich people didn’t stand a chance, did they?”
Did she have any idea how pretty her mouth was when she was smiling at him?
“Are you ready for our date?”
She moved her hands around his back and pulled him closer. “Almost.”
“Is there—” He had to clear his throat to push the words past the lust clogging them. “Is there something you need to do first?”
“Yes.” She went up on her tippy-toes. “More of this.”
Her mouth had barely touched his when he had her up on the marble counter, a fistful of cotton fabric in his hands. Still— “You said you wanted to go slow. We can do this date without sex, Vicki.”
The thought of walking away from all her heat, her sweetness, was almost unbearable. But he didn’t want her to have a single reason not to go out on another date with him, couldn’t let her think all he wanted her for was sex.
“If you need me to control myself,” he promised, “I’ll find a way to do it.”
“I guess that means you’re a stronger person than I am,” she said as she took his shirt in her hands and yanked it over his head. “Because there’s no way I can wait for the date to be over to have you.”
She took his face in her hands to kiss him again, but even though there was nothing in the world he wanted more, Ryan had to make absolutely sure she wouldn’t use their pre-date sex as a reason to back away from him later.
“You and me, we’re about more than great sex.”
She licked at his lips. “Of course we are. But the sex is a really fantastic bonus, don’t you think?”
He had to kiss her again once, then twice, before saying, “The best bonus in the world.”
* * *
An hour later, they were walking hand in hand onto the same wetland path they’d walked so many times before as teenagers.
“I can’t believe you brought me back here.” She squeezed his hand tighter as she pulled him toward the water, murky green as it slowly flowed along the peninsula south of the city. “Ready for the plunge?”
Side by side, they squatted down on the muddy edge to stick their hands underwater. Vicki looked down at their hands just under the surface, then back at him.
“This is a really lovely first date. Thank you.”