And if she couldn’t say it, if she couldn’t get out the words to make everything better, what then?
Did it mean they were over?
Just the thought of it had her stomach twisting, her chest clenching, her breath faltering. What she’d felt after seeing the horrible story about the three of them, or even when the paparazzi had been taking pictures of her, was nothing compared to actually losing Smith.
Smith pulled into the cast and crew parking lot and Tatiana squeezed her shoulder once, then said, “I’ll let everyone know you’re both coming soon,” before getting out of the car.
Valentina looked at Smith’s hand again, saw the dried blood on it, and wished she knew what to say. What to do. She always had before, had been so sure about what to go for, what to avoid. Until now. Until Smith had come into her life and everything she’d believed, everything she’d been so damn sure about, had twisted and turned and flipped around until the only thing she knew anymore was how much she wanted him, how much she enjoyed being with him, how much she needed him.
But even though she had no idea what to say or do or feel anymore, she knew one thing: they couldn’t leave the car like this. Couldn’t go about their day on set with “You’re right, I’m no good for you,” ringing in both their ears on repeat.
But just as she was about to finally reply, she saw the flashes coming from the sidewalk just beyond the set. Of course the paparazzi had come. She’d just been too shell-shocked by everything that had already happened this morning to think ahead.
Smith saw them at the same moment and reached for the door handle to get out of the car and away from the cameras when Valentina put her hand on his arm.
“Smith.”
Her voice caught on his name, turning one syllable to two.
When he turned back to face her, his expression as bleak as she knew hers had to be, she had to say something. Anything. If only so he’d know that she wasn’t ready to give up yet, and that she still wanted to see if they could find a way to make their happily-ever-after work out.
She opened her mouth to try to find the words, but fear had them clogging in her throat.
The faint hope that had flared in his eyes for a brief moment burned out.
Finally, he was the one who spoke. “We need to get away from the cameras.”
Knowing he was right, she went with him in silence from the car to the set, which had been beefed up with extra security. Anything she could have said to him was swallowed up by the concern of the cast and crew who had become like family to them both. No one made a big deal out of Smith and Valentina being together, only about the indignity of the paparazzi cramming its way into their private business.
Business that, due to the extreme expense of shooting a movie on location, had to go forward as usual.
* * *
Six horribly tense hours later, during which everyone did their damnedest to do their job, and do it well, despite what had happened that morning, Valentina watched the married camera operator and lighting designer give each other a quick kiss between takes. Her chest clenched tight at their easy affection.
What would it have been like to be able to kiss Smith without worrying about what people would say?
But as the cameras started rolling again, Valentina knew that hadn’t really been the problem. After all, she’d never cared what anyone thought about her.
She’d been a coward about trusting their relationship to keep moving forward, especially past filming when they both moved on to other projects. She’d tried to back up that cowardice by telling herself that things with Smith had come from so far out of the blue and had moved too fast, that she hadn’t come into this project looking for a man that she would fall in l—
“Cut!”
When Valentina looked at Smith in surprise, and realized he was holding his phone to his ear, she froze again, thinking it must have to do with the fallout from this morning. But that wouldn’t explain the quick flash of joy that moved across his face. And then she saw the name on his lips—Sophie—and she knew.
His sister was having her twins.
She was already up out of her seat as he headed toward her. “I know I’m not family,” she said, “but—”
“Come be happy with me, Valentina.”
God, yes, please. She wanted so badly to share in his joy. He called out for everyone to take the rest of the day off, and then they were racing each other to his car. The cameras started flashing again as soon as the two of them came into view, but even though Valentina’s gut twisted again, and she could see a muscle in Smith’s jaw jumping, she did her best to ignore the paparazzi.
She loved babies. The way they smelled. Their innocence. Their soft skin. Even the way they scrunched up their little faces when they were furious at the world for keeping them hungry or wet or sleepy.
She still remembered the day Tatiana was born, the immediate love she’d felt for her baby sister. Her mother had let her hold the newborn within minutes of the birth and when her sister had looked up at her with her big blue eyes, Valentina had tumbled heart-first into a love so strong it had shaped her entire life.
“My mother said she’s been having contractions for most of the morning and that they’re close enough now for all of us to come.”
God, she thought as despair rolled through her, she loved the sound of his voice. It was going to be so hard not to hear it every day…especially the way he whispered her name in her ear with such passion as he came into her.
Still, she needed to try to keep it together right now. At least until Sophie had her babies.
“Did Mary say how Sophie was doing?” Valentina couldn’t help but worry that the sweetest, softest Sullivan was dealing with something more difficult than she could bear. Especially when she knew that Smith and Sophie shared a special closeness. “Is she in a lot of pain?”
“Sophie is far tougher than she looks,” he told her, but Valentina could see how worried he was for his younger sister. “For all her big talk, Lori’s the pu**ycat. Sophie can hold her own.”
She could hear the tension in his voice, tension that was only partially due to his concerns over how Sophie was doing.
They’d been so close that morning…and now?
Valentina took a breath that shook through her, hard enough that Smith turned his intense gaze to her for a moment. It hurt too bad to think about what had happened to them between last night and this afternoon.
Somehow she managed to think clearly enough to ask him, “Tell me about Sophie and her husband. How did they meet?”