But even though it was really nice to be outside enjoying the sunshine for once, her stomach was clenched tight. Her role was still bothering her, especially now that production had been shifted up by a handful of days to Thursday of the coming week. But mostly, she was worried about Ian’s reaction to what she’d said to him last night. Particularly since she hadn’t been able to let the subject of his ex-wife go, and it wasn’t exactly his favorite subject.
Just then, her phone buzzed in the pocket of her jeans. Hoping it wasn’t Ben texting to ask her to come back to the set because he’d just found another rack of clothes she needed to try on, she nearly dropped it when she saw Ian’s name on the screen.
Had he thought about everything she’d said last night and realized he wanted to be with her, after all?
Her heart was leaping in her chest as she stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk to punch in her security code so that she could see his full message. Strangers bumped into her from all sides, but as she read his text once, twice, then a third time, she simply couldn’t figure out how to make her legs move.
LAST MINUTE BUSINESS TRIP TO ALASKA MONDAY. WILL SEND YOU LIST OF OTHER CEOS TO SHADOW.
Her throat felt tight and her chest ached right beneath the breastbone. Less than forty-eight hours ago, he’d made her feel so wanted, so needed, so precious to him with every kiss and caress. And last night, she’d thought there was a chance that she might actually be getting through to him.
But now he’d made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want her around at all anymore.
She was tempted to give in to the urge to throw her phone down on the pavement, purely for the satisfaction of hearing it hit and watching it shatter. But before she could do something so impulsive, her phone jumped in her hand, ringing with her sister’s special ring tone.
Yesterday she’d felt too confused to talk, but though her thoughts about Ian were only more jumbled up now, Tatiana needed her sister more than ever. Finally moving off the sidewalk, she headed across the grass of the waterfront park to find a more private spot.
“Hey, Val.” Tatiana’s voice sounded really weird to her own ears, but she couldn’t quite figure out how to modulate it back to normal. Not when she was still spinning from Ian’s terse farewell text. “How’s Ireland?”
“Amazing. Although Smith has been overrun with media requests since the nominations came in for Gravity, just like you must be. And when we dropped by a local pub to see if they’d have any interest in letting us film a few key scenes there, I swear the whole town must have turned up to dance and sing and celebrate with us. That’s why I wasn’t able to get ahold of you yesterday to congratulate you on your amazing achievement.”
Sitting down on an empty bench and listening to her sister talk had, thankfully, helped Tatiana get a little bit of a grip by the time she had to speak again. “Honestly, it all feels kind of surreal.”
“Promise me you’ll let me know if you need anything, T. Anything at all.” After Tatiana made a sound of assent, Valentina said, “I’ve been dying to know, how did your week with Ian go? Has it helped you with your new role? I kept hoping to catch you earlier in the week to ask, but the time difference as we’ve jumped through Ireland and Scotland always meant it was two in the morning whenever I got a chance to call you.”
Oh, she wanted so badly to confide in her sister. But what would she say? “Ian and I slept together. It was amazing. Magical. Because I love him. But even though he obviously wants me and can’t keep his hands off me, he won’t let himself love me back. And now I don’t know what to do.”
Just hearing the words play out in her own head, Tatiana knew with perfect certainty that there were a good dozen ways Valentina would freak out from across the Atlantic if she actually said them aloud.
“Shadowing him has been great. And exhausting. I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as he does.”
“I remember thinking that about Smith when you were filming Gravity.”
“Val, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course, T. You can ask me anything, you know that.”
“When you and Smith were just starting to date, you felt unsure about things for a while, didn’t you?”
“Only constantly.” But she could already hear her sister’s brain going into overdrive from her simple question, so she wasn’t surprised when Valentina asked, “Are you dating someone? I know I’ve been really busy lately, but I’m always here for you, T. All you have to do is let me know you need me and I’ll be there. Anywhere you need me.”
The tears that had threatened when she read Ian’s terse and emotionless text nearly came spilling out at the love in her sister’s voice. Which made her doubly glad that saying, “No, I’m not dating anyone,” didn’t constitute lying to the one person who had always been there for her. “But, Val, if you were so unsure, then how did Smith convince you to be with him?”
Valentina was silent for a few moments, obviously thinking through her answer before she gave it. “There were lots of little, sweet things he did along the way. Remember when he gave me that framed picture of us?”
“It’s still one of my favorites,” Tatiana agreed. “So that’s what did it? Knowing he was thinking of you and what would make you happy?”
“Honestly, while those little things he did were all lovely and sweet and made me realize he cared for me, they weren’t enough to make me believe love could conquer all. I was still scared. Still worried about the past and the future and every moment in between.”
Tatiana could understand why her sister had been so afraid to fall for Smith. The spotlight constantly shone on him because he was one of the biggest movie stars in the world, and her sister had always been much happier hidden in the shadows on the side of the stage. Plus, after their father had died and Valentina had pretty much taken over raising Tatiana, the way their mother had dated one wrong man after another had been really hard on her sister...and had made Valentina question everything about love. At the same time, she’d always protected Tatiana so that she never had to doubt that love was real.
“I still don’t understand how he got you past those worries. What did he do to make them all go away?”
“He couldn’t do that for me. I had to work through my fears myself in my own time, and if he had tried to push me to speed things up, I was stubborn enough that I would have only retreated further and put more walls up to block him out.”