CHAPTER TWENTY
It had been a huge shock to see Serena going through his pictures. But it had been an even worse shock to see the photos of his mom again.
Sean hadn’t just stayed away from his camera since the day his mom died. He’d completely avoided his box of pictures, too, not even letting Olivia dig into them for the funeral when she’d needed some extra photos to display for the hundreds of people who had come to pay their final respects.
Just hours earlier, he’d fallen asleep holding Serena in his arms, and it was her absence that had woken him up. He’d been so glad to see that she was still there. But then, when he’d realized what she was looking at, it had felt like all his skin had been ripped off and there was nothing left of him but blood and bones and guts in front of her. That was why he’d reacted so harshly. Too harshly. Like a complete idiot who couldn’t stop things he didn’t even believe about her from spewing out of his mouth.
Not until she’d turned to walk away from him and it finally got through his thick skull that she was leaving.
Leaving him.
Because he’d hurt her.
“Please.” He caught her halfway down the back stairs. “Please don’t go. I’m sorry for everything I just said. I’m sorry for everything I just did.” He didn’t care who heard them, who saw them together. All that mattered was that Serena knew he was sorrier about what he’d said to her than he’d ever been for anything his entire life. “If I could talk about my mom with anyone, it would be with you. I didn’t mean what I said. I swear I didn’t.”
For several long, painful moments, she didn’t move. Didn’t speak. And he thought for sure that he’d lost her.
But then, when she finally turned back to face him, he was brought nearly to his knees. Because instead of looking at him with hate…all he could see was the pure truth of how much she cared about him. Just like she’d said over and over when he’d been blinded by grief.
“I know you didn’t,” she said softly. And then, though he didn’t deserve it after what he’d said, after the way he’d behaved—when anyone else would already have been gone by now—she slid her arms around him and laid her face against his chest. “And I know you would.”
“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me, Serena.”
She didn’t answer him with words, simply slid her hand through his and led them back to his room.
Desperate to make right everything that he’d nearly destroyed, he begged, “Forgive me.” His words were muffled against the top of her head where he was pressing one kiss after another to her hair. Hell, she should leave him for this alone, if only to get away from a guy who wanted too much from her, who needed more from her than anyone else ever had. “I shouldn’t ask you to forgive me again, not when I promised never to screw up like I did that first night, but I can’t stop myself from asking. And I can’t stop hoping that you will.”
She turned her face up to his so that his next kiss landed on her mouth instead of her hair. “I already have. Especially since I should have waited until you were ready to show the pictures to me and talk about them, too.” She slid one hand up between their chests and laid it over his racing heart. “I…” He could see that she was nervous about what she was about to say. “I care so much about you. So, so much, Sean.”
He badly wanted to tell her what he’d realized last night—that he was in love with her. So in love that he could hardly think straight anymore. But he’d already done enough to screw things up for one morning. If she didn’t feel the same way, if she wasn’t yet ready to move from caring about him to loving him...hell, the last thing he needed to do at this point was risk pushing her even further away by coming on too strong.
Still, for all that he was trying to hold back so that he didn’t scare her, when he said, “You’re amazing,” the two simple words came out so strong, so raw, that he knew he wasn’t hiding much at all from her.
When her lips found his at the same time his took hers, their kiss was more passionate, more intense, than he’d ever known a kiss could be. Her mouth on his tangled his senses, made him ache way down deep in the center of his chest.
“Please,” she whispered against his lips. “Please don’t stop with just a kiss today. Not when I need you so badly. Not when I need to know that we’re still real and that nothing has changed because both of us are sorry and both of us are forgiven, too.”
Needing all the same things, he captured her mouth in another searing, mind-bending kiss. Gripping the bottom of her sweatshirt and her T-shirt and her bra all together in his fists, he yanked at them so roughly that he nearly tore them as he pulled them over her head. And then...sweet Lord...she was standing there in front of him, bared from the waist up and so shockingly beautiful that the final threads of sanity he’d been trying to hold on to were lost in a rush of desire so strong it actually did take him to his knees.
“Serena.” He whispered her name in the exact moment he took her nipple onto his tongue. His hands cupped, caressed, teased her br**sts even as his mouth took, feasted, craved.
“Please,” she begged again, breathless now as she threaded her fingers into his hair and arched into his mouth. “Oh God, please don’t stop.”
No. He wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. Didn’t ever want to stop kissing her. Didn’t ever want to stop tasting her. All he wanted to do was claim her as his. Only his. Not only today. Not just this morning. But over and over and over again.
Forever.
He moved his attention to her other breast and licked over her with deliberate slowness, knowing that if he didn’t force himself to take his time, he’d later regret not savoring every single second. Not just of getting to be with her, but getting to be her first.
He knew by now that she’d never been with another guy…because she wouldn’t have trusted anyone the way she trusted him.
Earn it. He swore again to himself that he would earn her trust. Even more so in the aftermath of having lashed out and hurt her just minutes earlier. She’d just forgiven him again, and he’d make damn sure she wouldn’t regret opening herself up to him. That she wouldn’t regret being there for him. And that she wouldn’t regret staying.
He’d always made sure to stop them before things went too far. But today, the boundaries had shifted. Far enough that he wouldn’t stop at the edge today, but would take her all the way over it. No matter what else happened, he’d make sure she knew pleasure. The deep, amazing pleasure that she deserved...and that he was so damned lucky she trusted him to give her.