I’d lost her.
Back at The Shade, when we’d found her inside the Sanctuary, I’d seen how she looked at me. Natalie was the vampires’ ultimate diplomat for a reason. She was peace-loving and cordial. She never hated anybody. She was on no one’s side. She was the middle ground, but at that moment, as our eyes met, I knew that she hated me. I couldn’t bear it.
Her hatred had caused me more pain than I could imagine a heart could handle, so I did what any child of the Elder would do. I punished her.
Natalie Borgia, the woman I loved, had died in my hands, because I was a sick, sick bastard, who would forever be a prisoner to darkness.
Natalie’s face was still etched on my mind when I entered Sofia’s bedroom. Though her lovely countenance would forever haunt me, I felt nothing over her loss. Years under the Elder’s power had done that to me. I was forever numb. Or at least I thought so.
All callousness dissolved when I saw Sofia’s bloodstained bed. I couldn’t even explain what I felt. The sense of deep, deep loss came over me like a flood and I had no idea how to handle it.
Did she miscarry? I walked toward the empty bed. That’s too much blood. I scanned the room to look for the redhead and found no sign of her or the beast I’d assigned to guard her. Stupid mutt. Olga ran towards the bathroom to check if Sofia was there, and I followed suit.
Olga’s gasp confirmed that Sofia was indeed there. I was already thinking the worst so I actually sighed with relief when I saw that Sofia was on her feet, pulling a dress over her shoulders, shocked by the unannounced intrusion. Sitting beside her, licking his own fur, was the beast.
My claws came out. “You good-for-nothing monster!” The beast yelped when my claws cut through its flesh the first time, but within minutes of the abuse, it was snarling and growling at me, poised to attack.
I grinned, ready to take on the beast’s challenge. I had every intention of killing the dog.
“Kiev, please. The dog didn’t do anything to me.”
I creased my brows in surprise, wondering why on earth she would come to the defense of the beast. “What happened then?” I asked her.
She withdrew from any attempt to defend herself or the animal and just stared back at me, no word of explanation coming out of those lips. She’d clearly been crying, but it wasn’t sorrow that I was seeing in her eyes. It was anger—not just that, it was hatred. I found it unbecoming for someone like her.
“Did the beast hurt you?”
She shook her head.
I had half a mind that she might have been trying to escape and the beast must’ve sensed it. I was losing my patience with my lovely captive. “Then why is there blood all over the bed, Sofia?”
Again, she didn’t respond to me. At least not in words. Instead, she turned around and slightly pulled her unzipped dress down her shoulders, exposing her bare back to us. The stripes on her back were too familiar for me not to recognize.
“The Elder came to you.”
Her voice was so raspy, so soft, I barely made out the words. “What is he?”
A monster. I swallowed hard. The fact that the Elder was able to do this to her meant that she’d allowed darkness in. The months of captivity had relentlessly chipped away at her resolve, covering up anything good about her.
“Leave us,” I instructed Olga. The servant quickly complied. She knew better than to be around something like this. “Your children?”
“They’re unharmed.” Sofia pulled her dress over her shoulders once again and placed her hands over her belly. “At least I think so,” she added, her voice coming out as a soft croak.
I marveled at her strength. Another woman would’ve crumpled in a corner and felt sorry for themselves. I retrieved a dagger tucked beneath my belt and cut a gash over my palm. I walked towards Sofia. “Drink.”
She took one look at the blood and shook her head adamantly. “Never.”
“You would rather remain in pain?”
“I can bear it.”
“Don’t be a fool, Sofia. You have your children to think of.”
“Maybe it’s better that they never become a part of this sick, sick world, Kiev.”
“Suit yourself.” I shrugged. If she was looking for someone to talk her out of her insanity, then she was speaking to the wrong person. I stared at my bleeding palm. The gash was about to close. “I’m not going to cut myself again. Are you going to drink or not?”
I noticed then how pale she was. She’s lost a lot of blood. If she doesn’t drink, we’re going to lose the children for sure—even her perhaps. I could see the wheels in her mind turning. She drew a short intake of breath before grabbing my wrist and drinking from my palm. She was only able to take a couple of sips since the gash was already closing. I wasn’t sure if it was enough so I none too gently grabbed her and yanked her to one side so that I could see her back.
The lashes healed.
“I never thought I’d see the day when the Elder had enough power to get to you, Sofia.”
“I need Derek.”
“Well, he isn’t here, is he?” I began running my fingers over her spine, enjoying the feel of her bare flesh under my skin.
“What will it take for you to help me, Kiev? There must be something you want from me. You’ve been kinder to me than you ought to be.”
I chuckled. “Have I? Or has the Elder’s attack just made you delusional? Tell me, what exactly did you do to get him to pay you such a violent visit?”
“How am I supposed to know what’s going on inside your father’s twisted mind?”
I didn’t get a full grasp of the darkness that had already consumed our beautiful captive until she spun around and looked up at me with a heated gaze. I knew then that she was true to her word. She would do anything for me to help her. All the wicked possibilities ran through my mind. I was with Sofia Novak at her most vulnerable and every part of me was screaming to take advantage of that fact.
“So how about it, Kiev? What exactly do you want from me? What do I have to do…”
I wanted her in my bed. Every part of my being wanted to experience what Derek experienced with Sofia. I laid her on the bed and allowed my eyes to ravish her lovely form.
Then I saw her eyes. The tears, the fear… I didn’t know why, of all the many times that I had taken advantage of other people, my conscience decided to make itself known at that particular moment. I stared down at Sofia and saw her trembling and I knew that if I went ahead and took what she was offering, not only would I completely destroy any hope of her ever going back to the light, I would also destroy any chance that I had to do the same.