I raised my eyes to his questioningly. “What’s wrong, Derek? Don’t you want this?”
“I want this more than you can imagine right now, Sofia, but…” He gulped.
“You’re not going to hurt me, Derek,” I assured him. “Relax.” I laid my hand over his chest and looked into his eyes. “I trust you.”
I stood to my toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It appeared that was all the approval he needed, because his hands clasped around my waist. He no longer tried to stop me from continuing to unbutton his shirt.
Being keenly aware of how precious each second we had with each other was, we made our first night as husband and wife as memorable and sweet and passionate as we possibly could. I was his and he was mine, and on that night, to us, the Lighthouse truly became our sacred space.
Chapter 44: Derek
She’s my wife. I woke up to find her sleeping form next to mine, our bare forms intertwined on the soft mattress beneath us. Waking up next to her, knowing that she was officially mine, that my name was also hers, took my breath away. I couldn’t pry my eyes away from her lovely face.
Peaceful. Serene. Beautiful.
All the compliments in the world wouldn’t have been able to describe her.
When her eyes opened and her face brightened into a wide smile, it felt like a piece of heaven.
“Good morning, husband,” she greeted.
“Good morning, wife,” I responded.
Then, we both heaved a sigh. I saw despair in her eyes as she ran her fingers against my cheek. I ached under her touch.
We didn’t need to say out loud what was bothering us both. It hung over us like a cloud of premonition and as much as we tried to ignore it, it was there. We had to face the reality that I had to test the cure. There was no other option.
“Do we have to do this?” she croaked out.
I didn’t respond. We both already knew the answer to that. Instead, I pulled her against me, kissed her on the cheek and whispered into her ear. “Everything’s going to be alright, Sofia. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me that.” She shook her head. “You don’t know for sure.”
“You’ve always had more faith than I do, Sofia. Don’t let it run out now.”
It broke my heart when tears started to brim in her eyes. “I won’t know what to do if I ever lose you.”
“You won’t. We have to believe that you won’t.”
I kissed her and once again took her in my arms, making love to her, assuring her that no one could take away from us what we had. I whispered all the assurances I could think of into her ear, hoping that I could convince her and also myself that all would be well. By the time we both reached our climax, she was sobbing. Each sob cut me to the core.
“Sofia…”
Before I could say anything, her lips were on mine, her hand gripping a clump of my hair. Once our lips parted, she gazed up into my eyes and nodded.
“Everything is going to be alright,” she proclaimed, as if saying it with conviction would somehow make it happen. She said the words again. “We’re going to be together.”
I rolled over on the mattress beside her, and we both lay on our backs, breathless. What was to come still weighed heavily on our minds.
“The sun is going to rise soon,” I said, knowing that we had to test out the cure and have me enter the pit before the sun reached its peak.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this. Maybe we can postpone it… Tomorrow maybe… Or let’s have our honeymoon first,” she begged.
I shook my head. “No. I want to be human, Sofia. I can’t be a vampire one day longer.” I turned to my side and let my eyes fall over her lovely bare form. My stomach turned at the sight of a few bruises on her thigh and neck.
When she realized what I was looking at, she quickly covered up with the blanket. “It’s nothing, Derek.”
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. I should be able to make love with my wife without worrying about hurting her. You’ve never made excuses for me, Sofia. Don’t start now.”
She rolled to her side to face me. She stared at me with those green eyes, her fears and doubts evident on her face. Eventually, she came to an acceptance of what had to be done and my heart leaped and sank when she did. She shut her eyes and nodded. “Very well then.”
Sofia gave me a soft peck on the cheek before she sat up on the mattress. My breath hitched when she began to pull her auburn mass of hair onto one side of her neck. I couldn’t help but cringe upon realizing what she was getting at. She was offering her neck to me.
“You haven’t been fed for ages,” she said.
“You’re my wife… I can’t… I just… Not anymore.”
“You need an immune’s blood in your system. I would rather we do it here than in front of everyone else. Besides, this is the last time you’ll ever have me this way.” She paused and her eyes met mine. “This is the last time you’ll ever feel the power of my blood coursing through your veins, the last time you’ll feel the ecstasy that it brings.”
I sat up as I took in all of her magnificence. She was a feast to my eyes. Feeding on my young wife on the morning after our marriage was a stark reminder of why I wanted to escape what I had become. The battle raging inside me was now full-blown. The moment I dared look at the nook of her neck, generously offered up to me, my senses went on overdrive, my blood pounding within. I wanted her. I wanted her badly, but a part of me hated myself for doing this to her. I was supposed to protect her.
One last time… I shut my eyes as I drew close to her. One last time and I hope I never have to do this again. I bit into her neck, never missing that short intake of breath she always took whenever I began to drink from her. After this, never again will I put you through this, Sofia, I thought, but then the thought quickly faded into a blur when the effects of her blood running through mine began to consume me.
No matter how much my mind fought against my enjoyment of drinking from her, my nature made it impossible. I drank from her and I drank deep. Guilt took over me and I wondered why. It’s not like I haven’t done it so many times before. Something about that morning was different. I hated every moment of it, but I couldn’t stop until I was satiated. Somehow, my system knew what I was about to put myself through and it was begging for her light inside me, but as I drank, it felt as if darkness was taking hold.
Once I was done, her blood dripping from the corners of my lips, I pulled away from her. My gut clenched when I noticed how pale she looked. She looked my way and smiled. I felt then such overwhelming love for her and undeniable hatred for myself all at the same time.