“You never should’ve let her go.”
CHAPTER 7: SOFIA
Ben and I checked in to the same resort we stayed at with his family last summer. The moment we arrived at the hotel room, neither one of us could wait to get out. It mattered little to us how beautiful the suite was – in fact, it paled in comparison to the lavish penthouses of The Shade. What mattered more to us was the sun. We were in Cancun and we’d missed the sun for too long to spend that bright, sunny day indoors.
It became an unspoken rule between the two of us that for that morning, there would be no mention of The Shade, no mention of anything dark or heavy. For a few hours, we tried to be what we had every right to be – teenagers having fun on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.
Without us even noticing at first, we ended up avoiding any kind of shade. We wanted to feel the sunlight against our skin, so we stayed clear of umbrellas and roofs and anything that would block the sun. I was sure that by the end of the day, I’d be burnt to a crisp or end up looking like a bright red tomato, but I didn’t really care. I couldn’t even remember what sunburn felt like.
Breakfast consisted of fresh fruits and virgin piña coladas at an outdoor seaside restaurant. After that, we headed off to the ocean. At some point, I ended up building a sandcastle on my own while Ben remained in the ocean, enjoying a good, long swim. To my right was a pouch filled with seashells we managed to collect for a good half hour. Neither of us had any idea what we were going to do with the shells, but it seemed like a great idea at the time. A few feet away from me was a large, bright red towel we bought from the hotel store. Over it were a bunch of snapshots Ben and I took after squeezing into a photo booth and goofing off.
Each of the items surrounding me brought a smile to my face. We were making every effort to lighten up, find a reason to smile or laugh or try to make a connection to our former selves. We wanted to forget even though we knew how impossible that was. Still, it was worth the effort to try – if only to hear my best friend laugh and see that dashing smile on his face again.
I turned my gaze toward him and found that he was already emerging from the water and headed my way. I couldn’t ignore how hot he looked or how several ladies nearby were openly gawking at his handsome face and lean, well-built physique. With the sun shining down on him, making the beads of ocean water clinging to his body glisten, he looked like he’d just walked right out of a swimsuit catalogue.
Of course, I knew better. Beneath the white shirt he had on, his upper torso was still covered with layer upon layer of scars, evidence of what he went through at The Shade. My gut clenched as I shook away the thought, refusing to sink back to negative thoughts.
I shifted my attention back to Ben, trying to go back to those days when I would lose myself in daydreams about being with him. Strangely enough, I was quick to realize that he didn’t take my breath away like he used to. He looked incredible, but he no longer had the same effect he had on me before.
It didn’t take long for him to reach me and plunk himself right on top of my beautiful sandcastle.
“Ben!” I screeched.
He laughed. “Sandcastles always fall, Sofia. I thought you might as well bid it farewell sooner rather than later.”
I found myself transfixed by the smile on his face. I realized how much I missed him – the old him.
“What?”
I shook my head. “You seem happy.”
The smile on his face remained, but his eyes betrayed a concoction of varied emotions – none of them happiness. I reached out for his hand. I wanted him to know that I was there for him, but he withdrew from my touch. It was a harsh reminder that I could never fully understand what he went through at The Shade.
I wanted to ask him about what he was going through, about what was going on inside him, but Ben wasn’t the kind of person who talked much about feelings. Most of the time, we handled whatever issues we had by finding a diversion. If things were the other way around, Ben would’ve already found a way to make me laugh or divert my attention elsewhere. I wondered if I should do just that – throw a shell at him or something – but the brokenness in his appearance made it seem insensitive. So I just sat there, hoping that my presence would somehow bring him consolation.
“I feel numb.” He confessed a few minutes later. “Just numb.”
My gut clenched. What did she do to him? Images of Claudia, the gorgeous blonde female vampire who held Ben captive, flashed through my mind. Back at Derek’s penthouse, after Derek asked Claudia to give him Ben for my sake, Ben had already told me about how Claudia tortured him, healed him by forcing him to drink her blood and then tortured him all over again. It was punishment for trying to escape. Something told me however that it was just a glimpse of what Claudia had put my best friend through.
“What happened to you, Ben? Back at The Shade?”
I could never forget the look on his face the moment he heard me mention the island. All traces of the charismatic charmer that my best friend used to be disappeared. In his place existed a dark and broken character, whose features were openly screaming bloody murder.
“Do you really want to know?”
I hesitated. Do I? Still, the question had already been asked, so I tentatively nodded. “Tell me everything.”
“You asked for it.” He stood up and held out his hand to me. “Let’s take a walk then.”
I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up. As his story unfolded, I found myself wishing – for his sake – that I had never asked.
CHAPTER 8: BEN
As we strolled over the white sands beautifully complementing the clear blue ocean water, I told Sofia my story, not bothering to mention that by making me recount my tale, she was forcing me to live out the horrors of The Shade all over again.
I was distraught. I once again let Sofia down. Ditching her on her birthday for Tanya – total babe that she was – was on top of my growing list of screw ups when it came to the best friend I always managed to take for granted. It felt awful to see the hurt look in Sofia’s eyes, but I figured she’d take a walk and get over it. After all, I knew that sooner or later, she would forgive me. She always did.
I sneaked into her hotel room just before the break of dawn the next day, fully expecting her to still be in bed, with my five-year-old sister, Abby, snuggled against her. I was disappointed to find my mom lying beside Abby. It was clear to see that my mom was pissed off about something, because even while asleep, she had a firm scowl on her face.