"Maybe he can call me regardless, ASAP?" I said, cursing myself for sounding so weak.
"I'll do my best, Amy," she said, and hung up, leaving me alone again.
I went up to the hotel room to get my headshot and resume and then headed back down. I could walk to the nightclub, no problem, but I still hurried. I had no idea what a commercial audition entailed. If they handed me a script, then that was no problem, I knew how to act. But this wasn't theater, so was it different? Who was I supposed to ask for? What was I supposed to do?
I was the first one there, when I got there. Luckily, someone at the front directed me to the right room, and someone else showed me where to sign in. It asked for an agency or recommendation. Remembering Shannon's words, I left it blank. I thought about putting down Liam's name or the Academy, but decided not to, at the last minute. I was here on my own, after all.
Someone else came out, and handed me a script, which made me breathe a sigh of relief. It was a commercial for a funeral home, which left a heavy feeling in my chest. How long before I saw one of those for real?
I was escorted in after only a few minutes in the waiting room. Unlike the Gatsby audition, this room was small, probably used as a changing room when the club was opened. There was just one person in it, a cameraman, who nodded to me and clicked the camera on, making the red-light flash.
"Alright, take your mark," he said. I looked around, confused, until I saw a masking tape "x" on the floor. Thankful I figured that out, I slid over to it, rooting my feet firmly on it.
"Great. So just slate and then I'll read for you," he said.
"Slate?" I asked, confused. He rolled his eyes.
"Name, agency contact."
"Oh...I don't have an agency."
"Just your phone number, then," he looked bored. I stuttered through the sentence and he nodded.
"Alright. Now, look at the camera when you say your lines and don’t move from your mark.”
“Don’t move?” I looked down at the spot and looked back up, confused. How was I supposed to portray character if I didn’t move?
“That’s right. Don’t move.”
I saw the red light click off and then on again, and I looked at the script in my hands one last time.
“And … action.”
The scene itself was easy enough. I had long since learned how to cry on cue, and I made sure to use that skill. The lines flowed naturally, but I felt restricted and stiff by my lack of movement. Twice, I bobbed out of frame and had to be waved back in. The tears that flowed down my face felt forced, and I had never been so happy to reach the end of a scene.
“Ok, thanks,” he said, looking right at me. I realized I was done and nodded.
“Uh…so...” I said, unsure. The cameraman rolled his eyes.
“They’ll call you if they are interested.”
“Ok.” I replied. I knew I had done something wrong, and I felt my cheeks burning as I left the room. Everything about that audition had been different. I had never had a camera in my face like that before, and I had never been so restricted to one spot.
Even though I was supposed to be at rehearsal, and seeing him in less than an hour, I couldn’t help but text Liam. I had to know what I did wrong.
Are you busy? Can you call me for a quick second? I wrote, checking it for spelling before sending it. I had barely taken 3 steps before my phone rang.
“Hello?” I asked, knowing it was him.
“I got your message,” he said, talking softly. I assumed he was already in the theater. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry I’m going to be late, but Shannon told me about a commercial audition, so I thought I’d go.”
“As you said,” he said, approvingly. “You should always take opportunities like that, especially when your schedule can be re-arranged with little inconvenience. We’re just working on some fight chorography, so you’d be sitting here doing nothing anyway.”
“Yeah” I replied, my voice sounding far off. Liam picked up on it and made a noise of concern.
“How’d it go?”
“Uh…the acting part went ok,” I said, as I walked down the sidewalk, falling into a rhythm. “The words poured out of my mouth. But the rest of it was weird. It was a little room with only one guy on the panel, filming, and he told me to ‘slate’, which I had no idea about, and then made me stay on this little ‘X’ the whole time, and not have freedom of character movement. Do you think it was sketchy?”
Liam laughed at that, although it was friendly.
“That’s film and TV auditions for you, Amy. Always exactly like that. They are very different from theater, and it’s almost as if it’s a whole different world. Film and theater actors sometimes don’t translate over. But you felt ok when it came down to the actual acting part, yes?”
“Yes,” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I just…” I closed my eyes for a moment. “I wish that I could have talked to you beforehand. I felt like an idiot. In fact…” I took a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say was powerful. “I think talking to you before the Gatsby audition was the only thing that kept me sane.”
There was a silence on the other end of the phone, but it felt comfortable. Now that I was talking to Liam, the panic of the audition had gone away and I felt fine. I hadn’t realized how much I needed him, and needed his advice and support, until this very moment. Yes, I could act, and that came easy, but he was right, it came down to so much more than just acting. I thought I had been ready for all this, but it was clearly going to be harder than I thought.
“Anytime Amy,” he said, and I could hear the noise behind him increase. “I have to go. I’ll see you soon, though?” It was more than just a confirmation, he sounded hopeful.
“Yes,” I said. “About 20 minutes. 30 if you are feeling generous and want to give me time to stuff my face.”
He chuckled at that.
“Make it forty. I’ll see you then.” He hung up quickly, and I put my phone into my pocket, continuing to walk down the sidewalk, and feeling more alone. The sun was shining, and the birds were chirping and I could hear children playing in a nearby park. The dark mood over me had lifted, and I felt a lot better. I had just finished one rehearsal, I had an audition and now I was headed to rehearsal for a spot I had won over hundreds of hopefuls. Life wasn’t so bad.