Since she didn’t particularly want to start a dialogue on any of those topics, she chose to discuss something impersonal, nonthreatening. “Is there a reason you think you might not be able to keep me safe?”
Only when she saw the flash of disappointment in his expression did she realize her mistake. He’d opened to her, told her his feelings, and she’d ignored him. Regret weighed her down, but it was too late to go back. She’d chosen to retreat from emotions that were too scary, that opened her up to hurt, and that had happened way too fast.
His expression smoothed out and he turned his head away. “We lost Darren tonight.”
Shock punched her hard enough to drag a gasp from her. “How?” She hadn’t really known Darren, and he’d been a jerk the one time they’d met, but she hadn’t wanted him dead.
Ethan laid his arm across his eyes as though the dim glow from the nightlight was still too much. “We’ve been splitting into small groups searching for Garrity and his men. Tonight it was just Darren, Zareb, and me. We found a gang of Garrity’s enhanced humans—or whatever they are—and their beasts. Lots of them. They were trying to capture a lone vampire.”
Cassie realized how totally selfish she was. All she felt was terror at knowing the danger he’d faced, was facing every night. She didn’t have any fear left over for Zareb or the others.
“There were too many of them. We knew if we tried to fight them, there was a good chance they’d get one of us. Vampire numbers are down in the city, so we couldn’t afford to lose anyone. We decided to follow them instead and see if they led us to Garrity.”
He paused and she sensed he was back in the darkness watching the enemy, wanting to destroy them, but knowing he couldn’t do a damn thing.
“But Darren had always been a killing machine. He was too close to the edge. His Second One took control. It didn’t have a lot of survival instincts, just a lust for slaughter. He attacked Garrity’s men before we could stop him.”
She wanted to say something comforting, but her mind was blank to everything except the horror.
“He caught a lot of them by surprise, and they looked at him. The ones that did died. The rest were smarter and didn’t stare directly at his face. Once Darren betrayed our presence, we had to fight too.”
He turned his head enough for her to see the bitter twist of his lips.
“Zareb went into kickass sorcerer mode, I was picking the humans off without getting my hands dirty, and Darren was berserk. We made a great team.” He paused and allowed the silence to gather. “We’d killed most of the humans and a lot of the beasts, but we were tiring. We decided to leave.”
He took his arm from his eyes. “We turned to run but Darren stayed. I saw one of the beasts rip his head from his body.” Rage filled his voice. “I stayed long enough to destroy the beast, and then I followed Zareb.”
Ohmigod, Ethan had almost died tonight. The realization froze her.
Ethan snorted. “The vampire we saved escaped while we fought Garrity’s men. Gratitude isn’t a vampire characteristic.”
“I’m sorry about Darren.” She had no other words.
“This is why I worry. Garrity could take Zareb or me some night and then he’d come for you. I have to find a way to keep you safe.” He was silent for a moment. “Your family doesn’t live here?”
“No.” She knew what he was about to suggest. “Forget it. My family might live in a different state, but I still wouldn’t take the chance of leading those monsters to their doorstep.”
He simply nodded before climbing from the bed. She couldn’t help appreciating the play of muscles across his back and the motion of his tight butt cheeks as he walked across the room and reached into the closet. He came back to bed with his sleep mask and hoodie.
He took off his glasses, and she quickly looked away.
“I like to see the woman I’m making love with.”
She smiled absently while he slipped on the sleep mask and pulled the hoodie over his head.
“Would someone who was with you a lot ever become immune to the Second One?” Dumb question. She would only be with him until Garrity was dead. That should make her happy, right? It didn’t.
He remained silent so long that she thought he wouldn’t answer. “Eventually you’d be able to look at my face without being affected as long as my eyes were covered. There’s no immunity to the face and eyes together.”
She felt his stare.
“You’ll wake before I do. Dress and get out of the bedroom before me.”
She could only nod. There was nothing left that either of them was willing to talk about. Cassie glanced at him. He’d tugged the sheet completely over his head. Evidently breathing wasn’t an issue.
They both lay still until the clock told her that dawn had arrived. She didn’t need to see Ethan to know that the day sleep had taken him.
Closing her eyes, she forced everything from her mind. Allowing her thoughts to run in circles would drive her crazy. She could only help Ethan if she stayed sane. And somewhere during her attempt to think of nothing, she slept.
Cassie sat on Zareb’s couch with the cat curled up beside her and watched them leave. After finding out what had happened last night, she was terrified to see them go.
Ethan paused to look back at her right before he walked out. He had his glasses on and was holding his hoodie closed over the lower half of his face.
For a moment hope flared that he’d come back to kiss her good-bye.
He shook his head. “Can’t. Not when I’m like this.”
She didn’t bother yelling at him for being in her mind. “You did the first time.”
“That was different.” He didn’t explain how it was different. “Stay safe.”
“Right back at you. . . . What the heck is your last name?” She was doing her best to sound perky, but Cassie had the feeling that even though her “per” might be fine, her “ky” was drooping badly.
“Russo. For now.”
His voice had that deeper, more dangerous tone she associated with the Second One.
“Well, right back at you, Russo.”
She kept her smile pasted on her face until they’d left. Then she sighed and looked down at the cat. “Anything you want to see on TV?”
The cat yawned to express her complete disinterest.
“Me either.” Cassie glanced over at the two men who stood by the door looking bored.