Dear God, I was going to pass out on the spot. Already my body was responding to her again — how was that even possible? She handed me the soap and turned around. Growling in frustration, I told myself to calm down and helped wash her back, when really all I wanted to do was grab that mop of black hair and give a little tug while pleasuring her again.
I finished with her back then moved the soap down one of her perfectly formed legs. I went up and down in rhythmic motion then stopped when I reached the inside of her thigh. I let the water cascade down her then moved my mouth to where the soap had been. With a gasp her head fell back as she grabbed my hair and pulled, pushing me harder against her core. Groaning, I don’t know how the hell it happened but I was ready for her. Again. Immediately. Damn, it really wouldn’t ever be enough, would it? I stood and gripped her hips.
“Wrap your legs around me,” I demanded.
“So we can hug?” she asked innocently.
“Right. I’m going to hug you so damn hard you get pregnant.”
“Chase!” She smacked me in the arm.
I was serious as hell. I turned off the shower and wrapped her in a towel, quickly drying the both of us off, and then lifted her onto the counter, again not taking any time to do it right. I nudged her legs aside and pushed into her. I really wasn’t in the mood for romance and flowers. This was need. Primal need. I was in the mood to make her forget everything about what she’d just done — about what we’d both be facing within the next twenty-four hours.
If I died, I wanted the last name on my lips to be hers.
If I got shot, the last image I wanted flickering through my head would be of her naked body, of her smile, of her luscious lips, and of those damn blue eyes.
“Chase…” Mil moaned as my lips slid down her neck, sucking the water droplets with my mouth and teasing her with my tongue. Her head fell back against the mirror.
“I have something to tell you.” I moved inside her, slowly, and then faster.
“Can you make it fast?”
“Can you not distract me?” I groaned.
“S-sorry.” Her body tightened around mine and she shook. Then she sighed and leaned against my chest as my body climaxed and then shuddered against hers.
“I love you.” I’d said it twice in my life. Once to Trace and now to my wife.
“Come again?”
I smirked. “You think I can’t?”
She smacked me in the shoulder.
“What?” I said innocently.
“You’re such an ass sometimes.”
“I think that’s why you love me back?” I whispered in a hopeful voice.
Mil’s eyes were clear as day, so blue and striking that I sucked in a breath to make sure I really hadn’t died. “I’ve loved you since I was fourteen.”
“Really?” I lifted her off the counter so she could stand in front of me and so I could hold her in my arms. “You aren’t saying that to stroke my ego?”
“The last thing you need is more stroking.” Her eyebrows arched in amusement. “And I mean it. When my dad hit me. It was your face I saw. When he…” She choked. “When he branded me, when you didn’t come for me, I pretended that you did.” A fat round tear slid down her cheek. “I closed my eyes and pretended that it was just a nightmare, an alternate reality. I dreamed I was still in your arms. You kissed me and told me it was going to be okay. Earlier you said you didn’t want to be a white knight. It’s funny, because in my book, you really have always been my savior. You’ve been my everything. I was just too angry to admit it.”
“And now?” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
“Now I can’t help it.” Her hands caressed my face, rubbing over the stubble that had started making its presence known since I hadn’t shaved that day. “I can’t help but want you. I can’t help but need you. I can’t help but depend on you. It wasn’t my own stubborn will that kept me alive all these years, Chase. It was you. It’s only ever been. You.”
My heart about burst.
And I finally knew the difference. Before, I’d thought I’d been in love. It had hurt like hell, but that love? The love I felt for Trace? I realize now it was mostly lust and a deep unrelenting friendship, nothing more. I’d loved her with my whole heart. I still did, but not the way I loved Mil.
I was obsessed with Mil.
I wanted to freaking collect her eyelashes and stare at them like a lunatic — they were that long and beautiful.
Every time she breathed, I was jealous of the air because it was touching parts of her that I hadn’t had a chance to explore.
She was my beginning — my end. The woman I wanted by my side until we were two cranky old people who still carried weapons and shot at squirrels when they ran in front of us.
I wanted a future with her.
I wanted a present with her.
I just wanted her.
“You seem to be thinking really hard.” she whispered.
“How do people survive this?” I asked in a low voice. “How do they survive when someone they love dies? How do they go on when the other half of their soul is missing?”
“A lot don’t,” Mil said in a sad voice. “But us? We’d be fine. You know why?”
“Why?” This I had to hear.
“You’re too much of an ass to go and die on me, and I’m too stubborn to sit around and watch while death defeats you.”
“Oh, good.” I nodded. “So we have a plan then?”
“A plan?”
“Right.” I pulled her hands from my face and clenched them in mine. “We don’t let each other die until it’s time, and when it’s time we die together, notebook-style.”
“Since when do guys watch The Notebook?”
“Since I was given Trace duty for three months, and she slowly tortured me with chick flicks.”
“You cry?”
“Hell no!” I blustered.
“Liar.”
“There were a few tears,” I said gruffly. “But it was more an allergy to the popcorn and… salt.”
“Salt?”
“Leave it, Mil.”
She lifted her hands in innocence.
“We should get dressed, just in case we’re needed. They probably don’t want us running around the hotel naked.”
“Bummer.” Mil dropped her towel.
“Damn it, woman!” I turned around. “Stop trying to give me an early death. I can’t take your nakedness. It makes me horny as hell, and I’m supposed to be holding a gun.”